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Positive parenting

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by swt.charu, Mar 8, 2016.

  1. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    I feel exhausted when his attitude goes to peak. I smile myself once the heat comes down. But now a days it's literally bashing me like anything. @Mistt true May be due to holidays. Whenever he feel boredom, his question will be 'amma shall I start?(shall I irritate you) I'm bored. It may make you smile, swear that kills me

    Yesterday playing hulk movie in tv, he just showed one of the scene which hulk banging someone to the floor repeatedly. And saying'my mom also turns like a hulk if I do some naughty things' the list goes on, which adds more fuel.
    Mom shall I play kabbadi with you? And pulls my leg
    Obviously everyone enjoy, but can't when hourly basis
    Due to this I cant even complain
     
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  2. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    @Mistt yes he is being engaged with chess, these episodes are in break time
    I just wanna make him that, I too enjoy, but please not in heavy dose
     
  3. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    @rachaputi i understood your situation. I guess when he bored he is playing with your patience maybe he needs more friends to play /talk and to do fun.Until school starts keep him busy with learning new stuff which he likes. He is seeing a friend in you that's why he is like that. One way it is good but as you said we can't bear so much fun too. He will be busy with his studies when school starts and really you will feel you are missing something ...:)....
     
  4. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    @rachaputi
    I think you are stressed or your mind is constantly busy with something else. This is the reason you are unable to participate and enjoy your son's funny plays.
    It happens, specially to the mothers who are helpless or heavily worked/occupied with so much to do at home/office.
    When the mind is at rest, or in a very relaxing mood these funny things from kids make us happy. But when your mind is stressed, even a simple hug can irritate you.

    Looks like the problem lies with you.
     
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    @rachaputi he is bored and restless. Maybe what started as teasing js now bordering on bullying and the mom in you is worried that you are expressing it differently as irritation(this is a loud thought)

    Sometimes all he needs is attention and someone to listen to him and he would do anything to get yours. If you were the go to person to have fun, enjoy with him. My young man used to do that. Non stop talking and discussions and the days i was sick i used to feel tired of listening and i used to just zone him out and later felt it was injustice to both of is and talked to him about respecting the others feelings and moods.. that his discussions and jokes and fun could be irritating or looked up as mild harassment by others if they are not up to it. He now asks me if we can discuss..

    What i am trying to tell you is make him understand that it is not ok all the time. That having fun is great and you love his enthusiasm and spirit but there are days when you are exhausted and would liked to sit quietly. He is a teen and must be able to understand and apply.

    It could be the summer heat that is making you irritated. A week or two more and he will be in school. But you need to watch out for whether it is just fun and bullying as your instinct is warring within

    Take care
     
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  6. Umanga

    Umanga Gold IL'ite

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    Poor fellow needs a playmate. Can't he find other kids in his colony to play with? He is bored so he is playing with you. Of course, as an adult you are not interested.
     
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  7. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    Actually yes I'm stressed, still stillI needed a break from this, which I couldn't able to explain him.
     
  8. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    Exactly.. gave some limited communication treatment for 2 3 days, slowly he realized what I'm talking to. Yeah summer heat, mood swings, holidays all ganged up to irritate me. Schools started, he is on track for now. These childish fights very common in my home :). And they are the ones who makes my day special with love. I always admired at their love :).
     
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  9. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    As a mom to a teen and tweens ...I share ur pain and joy. I am mercilessly teased at home. I dont know if thats how all boys are..mine sure are that way .DSs are all now taller then me and the oldest much stronger. They even physically tackle me..I fight back with all my might just like another teenager. My oldest even pats me on my head and says "aww little mommy is stressed out" :facepalm: when I yell at him for doing or not doing something. I grin and bear and realize things that worked few years ago..wont do any good now. But end of that day its all fun.
    At one point I could literally count the words DS1 spoke to me in a whole week when he was around 11-13. .I couldnt draw him out at all...then all of a sudden this teasing started and younger ones joined too..while it annoyed me in the beginning..I realized thats the way they interact at school...with their friends.. with each other . No one is spared at home including DH. Unlike girls who are much better at communicating boys have a limited skill set in that dept esp at this age. Join the fun...and remember.. the way to beat the teasing is by not letting it get to u. U play by their rules and beat them at their own game. I learnt to handle it after I saw how DH would just smile and most of the time..agreed to whatever they said and laughed at himself so hard it ceased to be interesting to tease him anymore. My best strategy has been...rolling my eyes and saying " Oh comon is this the best u can do...u are slipping:rolleyes:". Always repeat to yourself..u are the adult here. It does get better after a while. Now there is a lot less teasing and a lot more talking. And never forget...they love u to bits..they are just struggling to say it in so many words.
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2017
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  10. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    @rachaputi so true. These are all the wonderful memories you end up remembering once the kids are out. Today with both of mine out frequently i would not mind a little tu tu main main fight too.

    All said don't worry the same kid will be extra sensitive to every move and mood of yours.

    Sometimes growinp up pains of kids are felt by parents. It is ok if it is a pull or prick here and there. The point is not just accepting it, because it is our kid, but guiding and making them understand the when and where and what..

    Nice that he has understood...

    Enjoy the phase. Time flies fast
     
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