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Politeness always wins!!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by justlikethat, May 21, 2010.

  1. justlikethat

    justlikethat New IL'ite

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    I have been thinking about it for quite sometime now..

    Its so easy in life to be rude n arrogant to others.. sometimes people do that to prove they are more powerful or stronger or intelligent... or may be simply because they have little patience..or they just want to belittle others.

    Being polite is not easy.. many times people can take you for granted or assume you are vulnerable/diffident because you do not raise your tone while talking.

    Though I try my best, I do not consider myself as an ever polite person.. I have been working in industry for quite sometime.. was definitely very impatient in my initial years.. I definitely did offend many people on my way ... and definitely got many set backs because I was polite to few people.. probably to wrong people.. but I was a kid that time and I learnt my lesson in the harsh way.

    I come across many different people in my life.. who have touched my life in some way or the other.. One thing I have noticed in people who have left a permanent mark are always very very polite and humble people. Like my mom says - ladaa hua vriskh hamesha jhuka hua hota hai..(Tree that's fully loaded with fruits is always bent ..unlike bamboo which doesnt have any fruit and is always standing tall..)

    The challenge I face in my life right now is how I teach my kids to be polite but at the same time to be really assertive and come across confident.
     
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  2. SiriVeda

    SiriVeda Silver IL'ite

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    I feel, being assertive, is some thing that cannot be taught to any one. Assertiveness is the result of immense patience, strong self-confidence and having respect for every and any individual.

    I can never raise my voice, even during arguments, to prove my point.

    Iam always lost when a person screams at me or becomes hysteric. I can shout back and show him/her their place. But then if I do that,i feel, there will be no difference between that person and me. So, I just give calm responses, if required and keep quiet otherwise.

    Many times this calmness was mis-interpreted as weakness and I had to face unnecessary consequences.

    I seriously dont understand how a person can be assertive and aggressive enough to protect one's self esteem at the same time.
     
  3. sujathaumakanth

    sujathaumakanth Bronze IL'ite

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    A nice post.....succinct but to the point in conveying the message. A message that we all need in this life where humility seems to be undervalued :)

    Good one !!!

    Sujatha
     
  4. rose2110

    rose2110 New IL'ite

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    I truly agree that politeness always wins....but there r place where u cant...Ur EGO steps in....infact it happens so many times. We r polite to only those whom we r fond of. Are we polite to strangers?....probably that is where we ought to start developing ourselves
     
  5. radsahana

    radsahana Silver IL'ite

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    hi justlikethat,

    A very well narrated post. I think if you want to teach politeness to kid, you have to behave that in front of her, even with strangers, your maid, or your driver.

    Kids see their parents as role model. Even while dealing with them sometime, if you are wrong, you have to say sorry to them which shows that you are accepting your mistake and it is ok to say sorry.

    Even how we talk to spouse, kids observe. We do have fight, but better not to do in front of them.

    I would like to share one example of teaching assertiveness to kids.

    MY DD here (USA) takes lunch from home to school. One day i allow her to eat in school.

    When she was new, it seems some kid said something about her food, saying it is "Yucky or like that". ( i have given her roti and paneer sabji that day)

    She came home and said, i wont take lunch from tomorrow.

    I explained her see "that kids eat non-veg,and we dont eat, we dont like it, but we respect that and we dont say anything about their food."

    So next time somebody say something, just go and reply " Even i dont like your food, but i am respectful, same way you have to be respectful towards my food"

    I think next time it happened again, but she was assertive and replied them back. So now nobody seems to bother her about the food.


    I think small small incidents like this provides opportunity for us to make kid understand value of politeness and at the same time being assertive.

    Here i taught her to respect others food, even though we dont like it.
    Secondly i also taught her that she doesnt have to take any bull**** from anybody, at the same time she can deal with them with assertiveness, rather than being rude to them.
     
  6. yams

    yams Platinum IL'ite

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    a wonderful snippet dear!

    of course politeness rules the heart and it makes it to bent as it wants too!

    if we are rude they don't even think of obeying us!

    bit just a polite word make them to think for a while and make them obey!

    it really do wonders!:thumbsup
     

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