Points to ponder-1The ayahs and their lovely wards.

The ayahs and their lovely wards.

I sit by my window in the mornings,to get some sunlight on my skin and also to enjoy pleasant sights.People belonging to all age groups walk in the walker's track in the morning hours.I also accompany them,mentally ofcourse!Around 8.30 to 9.00 am the walking crowd dwindles and the ayahs who are engaged by the parents to take care of their little ones start coming out on their rounds with the little ones that they care for.
The kids are very sweet.If one is like an apple, the other is like a guava and the other one is like a ripe mango,they are sure lovely.Each ayah carries her ward on her hip and walks on .The walkers' track have nice stone benches; every few yards there is one bench.You can see elderly ladies like me siting on those benches and chatting away merrily in the evening hours.But in the morning hours the queendom of the ayahs prevail.

The ayahs sit on the benches keeping their wards on their laps.Each bench accomodates five ayahs .The kids' age varies frm five to six months old to two and a half year old child.The ayahs are happily chatting away.Each ayah carries a stainless steel or plastic bowl with her,the bowls obviously contain the child's breakfast.May be oats porridge,may be idlis,may be paratta.The ayahs feed their wards, while they are chatting with their friends,who are also engaged in the same activity.Each child takes not less than forty five minutes to finish eating his /her breakfast.Sometimes some kids are cranky and the ayahs are in no mood to attend to their crankiness .They don't want any interruptions in their chatting sessions with their friends So what happens?I will tell you.

One morning I saw an ayah getting up from her place and walking to another bench ,a few yards away ,to talk to a friend.She carried her ward on her hip but left the breakfast bowl in the place where she was sitting.The bowl was not covered making it easy for flies to taste the breakfast which the young mother would have taken lot of care to prepae.The ayah returned to her place after chatting with her friend for ten minutes or so and resumed feeding the breakfast to her ward.Now ,you can't blame the child for refusing to eat that breakfast,it would have become very cold.Besides some leaf or any other thing might have fallen in the bowl and the ayah might have been too proccupied with her chattering to notice anything amiss in the breakfast.The child howled not wanting to eat that breakfast and the ayah finally lost her temper and gave the child a tight slap.My heart bled seeing this scene.

On another occasion,I saw the following scene.A child ,must be an year and a half old, who was carried by his ayah wanted to get down and walk.The ayah was in no mood to allow the child to take a few steps and follow him.A big NO. She has other works to finish at home.When the child insisted on getting down the ayah gave him a tight blow on his back.

So at around 9.30 to 10.00 th ayahs walk back to the houses where they work.

I have been watching such scenes regularly.I observed a few things.Most of the ayahs are very good at heart.They are attachd to their wards and every ayah is proud of her ward,as proud as the child's parents are about the small milestone that the child reaches.But
1,Many of them are not very clean.They wear such unclean sarees or salwar,kameez.Most of the time their dresses are wet.Obviously they must have been busy in the kitchen cooking or washing utensils and have left everything to carry the child out.
2.Many of them have no idea about how to keep themselves clean,keep their hands clean,sanitise their hands before feeding their wards.

My dear young mothers, if you are a working woman and has to leave your child at home in the care of an ayah,please do listen to my unwarranted,unsolicited advice for whatever it is worth.If you get angry with me,please do shout at me,Iam like your mother.

You and your husband would have definitely made enquiries about the ayah ,her family background etc.oyu would have even taken her photograph and verified her address and taken atleast one good reference.But once she joined you ,did you give her enough training on how to take care of your child?Did you or do you insist that she sanitise her hands before she carries the child,touches the child's food etc?

Please see that you give attention to the following :

Try and engage a well trained ayah or one who has experience in taking care of small kids.Even if you have to pay more to engage a well trained ayah,it is worth .I can hear you asking me,”mithila,where do I get such ayahs,tell me?”You have to find out,approach Christian missionary institutions,may be.
Ok,you find it impossible to get a trained ayah.Atleast engage an ayah who comes with good reference.Go all out to train her to take care of your child when you are away in office in the way you want her to take care.
Train her to wash her hands thoroughly well before she touches the child and also sanitise her hands before she touches te child’s food.
See that her nails are clean.If the ayah does not have adequate clothes,give her a couple of your sarees and see that she takes bath every day and wears only clean clothes.

Most important poine to be noted,insist or be firm that your child will be fed all her meals and snacks at home,the ayah should not carry the child and her breakfast or lunch out,a big ‘NO’ to that.

Fill one or two bottles with snacks like sev,mixture etc and give it to her.Let her have snacks with her evening cup of tea.When the snacks get over,replenish it.This mens extra expenditure on your maid but it is worth.Give strict instruction to the ayah that she should not allow any strangers to touch your child and no one should kiss your child.A stranger or even known people for that matter, may give flying kiss to the child,nothing more than that.If there is an elderly person at home like your in laws or parents to keep an eye on the ayah ,you are blessed.But incase there is no one else at home ,do make surprise visits to your house at randm times to see if everything is ok,your child is properly taken care of.Incase you find that the ayah is not trust worthy,chuck her out.


Pay her well,see that she eats good food in your home and be kind to her.But be firm with her and see that she follows your instructions

You may say,”mithila,finding an ayah to take care of my baby was so difficult,with great difficulty I got thi ayah.How could I chuck her out?”
I do agree that getting maids to do household work and ayahs to take care of kids have become vey difficult.But remember,that you are working hard,going out to earn,so that you can make future brighter and more secure for your child.But if the present is not ok,my dear what good will your earning do for the child’s future?

 

My dear Priya,
small tokens of affection,goodwill and a few kind words are enough to motivate the helpers at home.They fetch rich dividends.
love
mithila

 

My dear K,
What a wonderful mother you have been.You quit the job at the right time and did freelancing and now you are working full time,great!
My dear K,at very stage in a child's life we mothers keep worying.My daughters ae nearly 38 and 39.But I always worry about them about something or other.It has started raining heavily in Mumbai and I keep worrying about my daughter and my grandchildren who leave for school at around 11.30 in the mornings and retun home by around 7.30 in the evenings.Getting a full time maid is next to impossible in Mumbai and my daughter does not have one,she has a tough time and I keep woryig.My worrying is not going to help her in any way,but mothes are made that way.

love
mithila

 

My dear Aruna,
Children are God's gifts to mothers.They have to be nourished with good food and care.
One has to e kind to the maids,give them good food,take care of them but at the same time be firm with them.Give them guidelines on how to be clean and how to take care of their wards properly.

love
mithila