Please help

Hi all

I have been married for 3+ years.I would say its so far just ok.I just live like its destined.My husband and I don't talk anything important like where we will be in future,plans nothing.I even don't know when we will have a kid.But I am not worried @ that so far.But all these years, I used to say we haven't planned.Nowadays since its more than 3 yrs, everyone asks and when I asked him @ that, he doesn't say a word.Atleast a yes or no.But when someone calls, he says all the time that he is not ready to be a father yet and that he has so many commitments this that.If someone calls for get-togethers even that he would not tell me in advance.Just 2-3 hrs before or that day morning.Ya I am a house wife who has no work but what is there in telling?Even crazier will be if someone plans for something, he wouldnt ask if I want to go.If he wants to,I am also in by default.All this he would be talking on the phone and I need to hear to know thatI am in.Sometimes I said no and haven't gone.But in front of others, he is Mr.cool jovial and all that and makes others think that he is so casual.ya he is cool,sex life is ok,hugs,kisses but even simple things if he cant discuss with me, I feel all this is a waste.I used to cry a lot but nowadays I started asking him why why.Now my recent problem is when I opened the dryer after laundry, I saw a condom sitting in the lint remover+ very minute portion of the cover(couldnt find the name).I was totally shocked(He used condoms during our 1st week since I was not taking any birth control pills)Strangely after sometime I was convinced that it must be from India.But if I think deeper, its more than 3+ yrs and I have washed those pants almost every week since then and used to check pockets everytime but this time I didn't.Thats where the whole confusion lies.Can this be from the previous person's who did drying that it stayed under the small gap below the lint remover?I told him that I saw a condom after drying but just he asked from where and he was normal.So I was convinced but from the next day, I am all thinking will that be from him really?Should I ask or shouldnt I?What will he feel if he hasnt done anything?will that be unncessarily breaking trust by asking such stuff bcoz I cant think that he would do that?So everyone please share your thoughts.

 

Sree and Devika thank you for your replies.

 

Yes I cleaned the lint remover just before loading.That is what makes me more worried.I still cant take this as a simple thing.Is this not a serious thing?sometime or the other, keeps popping in my mind.Should I ask him again or shouldn't I?