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Please help me

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Dreams, May 14, 2010.

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  1. Dreams

    Dreams Junior IL'ite

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    Hi

    I am a member of indusladies from long time need some advise immediately.I use to live with my husband in US and we both came
    to india on Jan 31st and after that lot of things happend and my life got changed totally.we lived in US for 4 years.

    After coming form US my husband got severe stomach pain and went to the hospital and came to know that he has colon cancer stage 4 and doctors did emergency operation,
    after that i took care of him very well but he died last saturday that is 6 days back, now i am full dilemma that what should i do next.

    In US we had applaied for Greencard and now i have EAD and AP which is derivated from my husband, my husband is primary applicant and i am dependent on him.
    i have valid H1 also but i never worked using that so i cannot go for stamping.

    My main question is what should i do now can i go to US using EAD, AP and try for some job or should i stay back in india and try for job?
    I want to go back to US but is it possible can any one help me,please give me suggestions i am not in good mood to write please try to understand and help me
     
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  2. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear,

    Why don't you take some time and settle first and then think about other things.I beleive this is not the time for you to rush on these things.I know you need to worry about your life and take care of your self.
    But take some time before move on anything else.
     
  3. maggi99

    maggi99 Senior IL'ite

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    Dreams, Sorry to hear about your DH. May his sole rest in peace.

    Am sure your near and dears around you are putting forward lots of questions about what next.

    Ilites, DREAMS question about what next might look too early to think of but I feel people around are making her think what next.
     
  4. ushkrish

    ushkrish New IL'ite

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    hi dreams,
    i agree with priya. you need time to settle down before u can take some sensible decisions. you also require the company of your near and dear ones at this time. dont rush into any kind of action that will create an emptiness in you, which might affect you in future.
    lov
    usha
     
  5. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    You have applied as dependent on your husband(green card), as far as I know it is not valid if you return, lets say for some reason if your husband petition gets rejected or would have got rejected in that case dependents too would be the same, when it comes to GC processing each case is independent of processing, but I know if you were living in US there are some laws which could have protected you, you will have to contact attorney to find that out, you may be able to travel and come to US as you have EAD and AP, but big challenge is how you will find work , how will you live alone, you may be able to continue your GC processing with legal help of some sought. But you have to ask attorney

    Again I agree with Spider, its just 6 days he dies and you have started worrying of returning to US?
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2010
  6. indianflower

    indianflower New IL'ite

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    Sorry to hear about your loss.
    I would request spriderman1 not judge because the question about future is being asked too soon after her husband's death. People heal differently. Maybe she wants to move on and not dwell on the past. I feel it is better for her to think about the future quickly than mourn with her near and dear ones.

    Please contact a lawyer in US to know the laws correctly. As Tridev stated there may be laws that may be in your favor.

    Good luck and God Bless!
     
  7. vanijacob

    vanijacob New IL'ite

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    i'm more of a silent reader but i wanted to pitch in b'cos i empathize with the OP. My mom passed away when i was in college, its not the same as losing a husband but still, i understand wat she is going thru. The very next day after my mom's funeral i had relatives advising me to get married or passing comments abt how we shud have consulted a better doctor or taken better care.I had an aunt who started screaming abt how we never kept her posted abt my mom's illness. It was so stressful, i just wanted to get away from there as far away as possible. sometimes people just want to grieve alone and let to live in peace.
    May be thats why the OP wants to leave for US. Pls don't judge her.
     
  8. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    Only a good attorney can answer this and in that case too many times case rests with USCIS, even the best attorney can never say for sure how USCIS would process each individual case.

    However a cursory look that I had on web gave me an impression that the law stipulates 2 years of marriage for surviving spouse to continue the 485, there was special law after 911 attacks to allow the surviving spouse to stay in US to that effect. ALso OP's case would have been differently handled if her husband was USC and she was in process of getting GC, now that her husband too is not legally permanent resident as he was not granted Green card either, this can become tricky.

    In any case it could be a rough road ahead for OP. If her 485 does not get a query or interview call she can still be lucky, but if she gets a query from USCIS or interview call and some questions are asked it may become difficult. Then she may have to file appeal etc....


     
  9. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

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    Dreams,
    Sorry to hear about your DH's death. Just take sometime and stood upon!
    Just try to follow advice given by your elders. You need emotional suport now than financial support. Seems you are qualified, so start searching for a job and try working.
    God should give you enough strength.
     
  10. sarma

    sarma Senior IL'ite

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    OP,

    I am sorry I can't answer to your question as I am not knowledgeable in the area.

    One thing I'd like to say is that it's OK to ask the question you did at the time you did. I will consider you bold and practical and they are both desirable qualities.

    God bless! I am sure you will find a way.
     
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