Please help...Husband and Inlaws forcing to leave my job...

Hi krs,

Here is what I gather from your posts here.
1. Your first priority is your child and want to give your child a secure and loving environment
2. You have a secure job with a firm where your boss trusts you with a sufficient responsibility
3. Your MIL is openly abusive verbally and financially
4. Your husband is emotionally and financially abusive
5. If you quit your job you know for a fact that you will be at your husband's and MIL's mercy
6. You currently are with your parents in practically the next street, yet your husband has not visited his son for 3 years

If a father is not able to show affection for his son for 3 years I am not sure he will ever set the right kind of example for his son. Since your husband and MIL are screwed up in their heads anyway, I don't see why you should take a cut in your salary. Even if you quit your job and become something like a maid in their house, you are not going to get any love or affection or respect. (I'm not sure what they gain except misplaced sense of superiority!) Economic independence is a very important factor for women not to be mistreated. If even that has not stopped them from mistreating you, I am not sure why you want to continue this sham of a marriage.

Like someone here has already suggested, please get legal opinion for your case. That is the only way that I see right now for your DS to get a healthy non-abusive environment.

All the best, kma. Stay strong. Hold on to your job and your little one. My prayers are with you.

Love,
G

 

I strongly agree with Shilpama..

There is more to this than meets the eye....

OP .. what would happen if you change the job..... provided you get the same role, pay pack etc... and stand your ground that you will not quit your job (new job i mean) come what may ?? will your husband and MIL accept it ?? something tells me they would be more accepting of this arrangement.

Also, please note there is much more at stake here as the "trust" is lost.... and not much effort has been taken on "both the sides" to make amends ... that too for a long period of time... 3 years post child birth is quite a long time...

 

No ! Never even think of leaving your job! Don't take any decision emotionally to regret later. Your inlaws are stingy but are jealous because you are earning, if they show your child as a reason you tell them that is the exact reason you want to continue your job just to provide secured and good life to your LO.

 

Have you ever discussed with your husband regarding his absence from seeing his own son? There should be a valid reason, rather than quitting your job right?

 

Krs,

Sorry if i hurt you.

How old is yr MD? I feel dh is suspicious of you and he doesn't like u and your family to be close to him. Can u find another job of same salary....

How can a father not see his kid for 3 years. Does he have any suspicions?

I just want to understand yr husband's thots. It is possible that his mum is influencing him.

 

Hi,

Firstly please don't even think of leaving the job, as that the only place where you can get a break from your worries.

>>You said your husband has a brother, is he married?
So the younger brother might be the cause of problem, if that is the case he getting married might lessen your problem as your MIL will have one more DIL to deal with. This will give you & your H a good chance to improve the relationship.

>>Try to meet your H some where outside both the houses and show him your son and tell him if he wants his love , you & your H should live separately.
This might help becoz I understand that your H is constantly asking you to come back home.

>> And if all this doesn't help then its best that you continue your Job and enjoy your life with your Child.

All the Best.....