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Please help...Husband and Inlaws forcing to leave my job...

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by krs, Feb 25, 2013.

  1. krs

    krs Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Iam a working person for more than 10years in a known company and earn sufficiently. The problem is after my child's birth my husband and inlaws started to pressure me to leave my job then only i can live with them. I never agreed for that and so staying with my parents since my child's birth. My Husb didnt even bother to c the baby after 2months of the birth. He doesnt have any voice in his house so will hear whatever his mother and younger brother says. He hasnot bought me anything after marriage. In this case am very worried to leave the job and be at home with MIL who always use abuse language on me and my relatives exp my mother. Even if i want anything i should explain them before getting anything because my husb gives his money to his mother only. I dont even know about his savings details. They are very stingy people who is after money, since am earning more than his son they are forcing me to leave the job.

    Please tell me whether to leave my job which is secured for me and my child or be in work and upbring my child with his satisfaction or leave my joband be with them who doesnot have any human values towards us
     
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  2. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Stick to your job, child and parents for more humanly conditions.
    They want to isolate you... bring down your financial independence... to eventually TAME you as per their REQUIREMENT from their DIL.


    If they're worried about WHO will do the work, not ready for servants and you are not a superwoman then its best to leave them to find a working solution... Since your H doesn't have a say now.... he'll never say anything on your behalf later as well.

    Life's a precious gift to waste by voluntarily living in inhuman conditions.
     
    20 people like this.
  3. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

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    Congratulations New mom...Sorry to hear about the problem but heres my take...If a person is not ready to see his own child even after 2 months of birth then i dont think it makes any sense for you to quit your job for such a person.
    My suggestion ask him what exactly is bothering him?
    Is it that if you work after baby who will take care of kid ?
    Is it that he is thinking its a burden to his mom to take care of LO?
    Is it that he wants one of the parent at home to take care of kid?
    orany other reason...
    What ever the reason is explain him why you want to work?And how you working helps family and builds strong foundation for your kids future.
    Please dont leave the job just because they say so....First talk to him about reasons.
     
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  4. ipsi

    ipsi Bronze IL'ite

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    i think u don't want to leave the job......then don't leave it, after all its ur life and u know wt is right for u and for ur baby...simply ignore them and don't react to them....after a period of time everything will be alright..
     
  5. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Do not lose your job for anyone anything. Specially when you are in a difficult marriage, with a husband who has no voice above his parents, and his parents are all abusive, and you have a child now to take care of.... So your job is the one and only security for you now.

    If your husband doesn't want to come and see your child, let him wait. Meanwhile, you leave the kid with your parents' care and continue to work. This is rather a better option than leaving the kid with in laws according to my experience.

    You try your best to be independent, and no more dependent to your husband for any of yours or your child's needs. Ignore them completely as their request is not reasonable.

    I am sure, he will soon find his mistakes, and come back to you as a better person.
     
    6 people like this.
  6. TheSahil

    TheSahil Gold IL'ite

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    Aren't their actions illegal and unlawful?
     
  7. hrastro

    hrastro Finest Post Winner

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    Do you really really want to leave your 10 year old paying job and stay in an undignified relationship with people who have no respect for you and where you have no freedom or happiness or love??

    You have the answers yourself!!!

    But, get some legal help for the sake of your baby, find out your rights and fight for them!
     
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  8. nicegirlradhi

    nicegirlradhi Gold IL'ite

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    OP
    sorry for ur situation. pls be strong. i would say no pls dont leave your job and financial independence. that is more important for you than any thing.

    sorry to say, but ur husb is an insensitive jerk who dont even bother to see his own child after delivery for two months:drowning
     
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  9. krs

    krs Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Thanks for ur replies. The thing is it has been 3years since my child is born and my Husb never even attempted to see his child, thats whats bothering me. From this itself one can know how much he hears from his mother and others. They doesnot miggle with people.

    @lavii: I spoke on many occassions the reason is he doesnot want me go to job because they doesnot like my MD, who is a family friend of ours for past 20yrs, since he helps us a lot. Ours is a middle class family and my father lost his leg in accident when i was studying 11th. His business also went for a loss so there is no way i stated working just after my graduation in a small company for very little salary and my brother was studying eng. at that time. So, my MD had just started one company and offered me job with decent salary. After that since am known person all important works he will give me and now am earning so much.

    I had already told my inlaws house that i wouldnot leave this job at any cost in my life, since my Md and his family had saved our family and they agreed for everything. My inlaws doesnot like giving importance to my MD family by my parents and brother.This is the fact.

    But can i keep on changing my job for their likings? Even my MIL had worked till the age of 50yrs. How fair are they to ruin my life like this.
     
  10. nicegirlradhi

    nicegirlradhi Gold IL'ite

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    IMO...looks like a different story than what might be concluded from your post one. i think its not totally about job that you are having problems.

    i for one would definitely not like my husband if he gives more importance to his boss at office more than me. Not that you should scale down your career aspirations. but i sincerely feel something is missing
     
    1 person likes this.

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