Please Advice Should I Continue This Pregnancy Where Our Relationship Sinking

Hope you have the courage to do what you think is best for you and your child. Dont let the society dictate what you should do.

 

Dear Rose,
<<Hugs>>
Why are you taking all this when you have strength to stand up against this. What is stopping you from walking out of the marriage? Whether you get remarried or not is another question? But you deserve a better partner than the one who snoops on your phone. You have lot of sorting up to do. Once you decide what to do, get courage to follow it. Unless you decide to change your life, noboby else will do for you.

Regarding this pregnancy: It may be a sin to abort but it's a bigger sin to bring a baby to earth when both the parents are not ready and responsible.

 

Dear op
Please forgive me for being straightforward. I might come across as a rude person to you but my intention is to provide you another perspective. I don't want to accuse you either.
But just think about it. You want to kill your unborn child because that's easier , isn't it?
Why didn't you take the harder step that is walking out of this marriage when you could have done so. Killing a foetus seems easier here. But will it fix your issue?
Think about it. Think about solving this issue first. And if you abort the baby and still stayed in this marriage then in my opinion the abortion is not needed.
At least kids will have both parents and each other.
But if you are serious about leaving this marriage then I guess your options are limited. So please think through. Somebody's life is at stake here.

 

If you are ready to kill the baby boy not move out of the marriage then you should probably think again.

 

You are confused about your problem. The cause of your trouble is your husband and your inaction towards separating from him. Like others said, if you terminate the pregnancy and stay on married your problems will not be solved.

No one can force you to have a baby especially since you will end up raising him/her single handedly. So I don't get why you can't leave your husband anyway.

Also, please don't equate a child from a rape and a 31 year old having unprotected sex unless you were raped by your husband.

Going back and talking n times about how you were cheated into this marriage doesn't fix your life. You are a smart independent woman. You know what you need to do. You just need to find the strength to do it.

 

After killing the baby and migrating to another country- are you going to divorce him?
I think you will still be in this marriage.

If you wanted to really move out, you would have done that.

Even if you replay the past episodes a thousand times, nothing will change until you do something to change the situation.
If you are assuming that killing the baby will solve your problem, it won't.
It will only drain you emotionally - stuck in a non functional marriage for mum, killing a life, replaying past on repeat mode in your mind - it will spoil your physical health and mental health.

You have an answer for every suggestion that members are giving. Take advise from people if you really want help. Else just admit that it's a vent and not actually to seek any suggestions and that you don't have any intention to leave this marriage.
Whether you still being in the marriage is secondary, at least it will give us clarity on what is it you really want because each of us here is genuinely trying to help you and spending time out of our schedules and family times. Just like you, most of are mums(working at home/workplace).

If you want some change- do something about it rather than sympathizing with yourself so many times.

Read our forums and get an idea on how people overcome their problems and raised their kids and made a beautiful future for themselves and their kids.

Life is not easy my dear - It is challenging at every level. Each of us is fighting a battle.
Just because we don't write here doesn't mean we have no problems.
We learnt to do something about our issues rather than just vent.
Your education should give you courage and strength to raise your kid's not kill them because of a nasty human.

If I sit at home thinking of past and pitying myself for my losses, I am not just losing my present but to some extent, my future too.

I know a few women here in IL who came a long way. They had been through nasty marriage, divorce, job issues and kids health, parents death(everything in quick succession) and finally decided to take control of life.

Don't let self pity stop you from doing the right thing for your future and for your children's future.

 

He takes good care of your daughter. he is a good father. every child deserve a loving parent, if you both are not ready to welcome another child, then you both should decide rather than asking opinion from us.
Did you discuss your thoughts about second child with your husband?

 

are you living with your parent. may be that is why he is taking backseat in helping you. may be he is convinced that someone closer to you is always with you to help you, let me focus on my work. some men are like this.