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Peculiar Problem With Father's Brother And His Wife

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by amunique, Apr 26, 2020.

  1. amunique

    amunique Gold IL'ite

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    Indusladies..

    My Father's own brother(aged about 45years)-uncle and his wife(aged about 40years)-aunt having two kids have filed for divorce. The reasons which i know(rather assume are, my uncle did his engineering at a reputed college long back, but did not get s stable job and is still some business here in chennai) my aunt is working at an MNC in Bangalore, earning well, doing well.They have had many problems in the past n even now regarding the place of stay,finances etc etc.

    The problem is, it seems my uncle told my father that myself and my mother are the reason for my aunt to take the step in filling the divorce, that i have told her many things like uncle is like servant here in chennai(its a joint family here) going to market, doing household things etc..

    when i confronted my aunt, she denied all these saying no court will take a third person's evidences rather will look for actual and legit things that made her take this step after 18 years of marriage life.

    yet, i am a little disturbed as my uncle is not talking to me since an year and causing other disturbances through the other family members here.. just figuring a way out to learn the truth.
    confronting on the face/directly asking him will just take a minute for me since we are living under the same roof but my father is against this saying it will result in the problem getting big.

    i am helpless here. please suggest something friends.. please.

    btw, i am myself a divorcee living with my parents(who live in a joint family)
     
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  2. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Gold IL'ite

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    I'm not being biased but just wanted to know, have you actually ever spoke to your aunt like this? Didn't mean to offend, but just to know why he feels that you and your mother influenced his wife to go for divorce?
    Was there any miscommunication? Something he overheard between his wife and you and assumed?

    She denied what exactly? That she told her husband about what you discuss with her ? Or she denied you or your mother ever saying anything to her which her husband is accusing you and your mother for?


    Please clarify so as to get a clear idea on how to suggest you further.
     
    amunique likes this.
  3. amunique

    amunique Gold IL'ite

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    I even told my aunt that, general speaking cannot be taken as a proof/or be the base for a decision and this seems very foolish for me. even she agrees for all this, and i told her that i have decided to know the truth in this else i am going to approach legally to whom so ever concerned in this and put a harassment case on them. she is just saying that they are all a bunch of idiots and she is off this family.
    i am a little worried and confused, because it's been more than 2 years or so and inbetween all these even i went through divorce etc.. and i have my things to look at.

    but what amuses me here is accusing someone-a third person for their problems (they already lived together for 18 long years(i cant remember exactly how long), have two kids, have been together at Bangalore when my uncle was working for a while etc) and threatening that my phone conversations with her are the base through a lawyer etc.. i really wish to know the truth in this and bring the culprits out. please help me.
     
  4. Patientone

    Patientone Bronze IL'ite

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    I don’t see how it’s fair that you confronted only your aunt. You should ask your uncle too regardless of it causing issues because he’s already causing issues. Sound like he’s blaming you guys and the truth could be something else. Maybe his wife didn’t give him a reason and he’s looking for answers so blaming u guys.
     
    KashmirFlower and amunique like this.
  5. amunique

    amunique Gold IL'ite

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    Hi ... yes you are right my uncle might be using a kind of blame game to hide his actual inabilities. indeed i want to confront him right on his face, but my father is stopping me from doing so saying it will make issues bigger ..since we are living under one roof now.(right now,lockdown etc) so m helpless. I am feeling very bad whenever my uncle makes faces and provokes others to make the same and build enemity with me.. dont know what to do..
     
  6. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    I think you should let it go. If you feel you haven't done anything to break them up - it is not fair by anyone to blame on their divorce on a third person, everybody is an adult here,so let this go. Do not talk to them. I don't think it is going to do you any good.
     
  7. amunique

    amunique Gold IL'ite

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    yes friend, right now i do not have the energy nor the resources to fight back at those idiots. i ll remain silent and mind my work until they explicitly poke me. then i will be ready too.
    thanks!
     
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  8. nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    Ask your father to let your uncle get out of your house. This will solve most of the issues.
     
  9. amunique

    amunique Gold IL'ite

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    We live in a joint family. so this option is not possible.
     
  10. amunique

    amunique Gold IL'ite

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    Hello everyone,
    an update - the other day i happened to ask my aunt about this, and also told her clearly that "i have now decided to know the truth behind this rumour" in a very stern tone.
    and today in a rather unexpected way, my uncle came up to me and gave sweets for his birthday(today).
    i am surprised and the curiosity to know the "real truth" has increased in me..
    any suggestions dears??
     

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