Paying Condolence - Humorous Snippet

Arunarc · Dec 9, 2007

Hello Mals

It was nice to read this post Mals it is so true that when the time comes I am dumb, words just don't come out of my mouth they are all stuck in my throat.
Ya hugging is the best thing to do, young or old will try next time.
Thanks for this.........

Sriniketan · Dec 11, 2007

Mals,
nice description and also gave us an idea of what to do when situation warrants, that too in person!
I went through this for the first time-- when I had to write a letter to our close friend's mom when my friend lost her father. I thought expressing in words was more difficult than to be in person at that time. somehow i managed it!

sriniketan

malspie · Dec 11, 2007

Dear Kamla,

Hey, knowing the fun loving you, it must be a very tough time for you like me. I liked your words:I psyched myself and sat stiffly through the ceremony when I heard wails all around me. Yes, those cool blonde women, some not even close friends, were all going pani pani! With time, I learnt that they take special pleasure in activating their lacrimal glands at weddings and funerals!
Some of them take immense pleasure in displaying false emotions. Thanks buddy, your presence has made my post worth the efforts.

malspie · Dec 11, 2007

Hi Sri,

I somehow find the whole exercise very tiring, if i have to go through the rigmarole for a stranger who has reached heaven. Thanks for stepping in my dear friend. And about the "Doggy" I always remember everything about my friends. Others do not matter to me. That makes my life easy...

malspie · Dec 11, 2007

Hi Vandana,

We two sail in the same boat. I am still learning to keep a long face. The fear is that I should not be silly but be convincingly convincing. Very difficult job.

malspie · Dec 11, 2007

Hi Sunkan,

Death never fears me and I am always prepared for it. It gives me a chance to live life again in different form (as I believe in rebirth). The drill of paying condolence fears me the most. As you do not know me, I am very fun loving and am always with wits in all my conversation. When I yell at my staff, I am punching them with few sentences which make others laugh, its my nature to be happy all the time. Thats the reason, i carefully measure my words when the need arises like say a condolence. Common, I have adopted the hug, who cares if the woman around have become uncomfortable and the men are salivating on my hug... I will still go and hug, it works for me...

Varloo · Dec 13, 2007

Dear Malspie,
I did not had the duty of paying condolences for many years. But once it had become necessary that I go, I have adopted certain practices.
If the person was old, I would ask 'what happened?" to the closest relative and then no problem.
If it is a young person, then it is really difficult. I sometimes cry myself and hold the hands of the person (if lady) tightly and tell them to be brave and console the others in the family.
But when my young sister died at the age of 25, I hugged my brothers and we all cried our hearts out. I even hugged my sis's dead body and then I saw that all my sisters and mother crowded around and they too did the same. That is unusual on this side. I still could not come to terms with her passing away, 2008 Feb is the 10 th year.
You know, that poor thing knew she would not live for more than 2 years and faced those 1 and half years with a big grin. Except the family and a very few close friends, no body knew about her condition and all were shocked when they heard that she was no more.
Did you know, when we share the sorrow, it gets divided and when we share joy it multiplies.
To divide the sorrow, we gather at a person's funeral.
Hope you are not bored by my reply.

malspie · Dec 16, 2007

Hi Varloo,

Thanks for your wonderful reply.

Bye

Blondie · Dec 18, 2007

Mals,
as someone who has experienced the passing of someone near and dear or in the immediate family, We mainly try to sympathize with those left behind. So the ones passing away being strangers should not matter. Example being the public outpouring of the grief to victims of disaster. They are not only strangers but also do not have a face, but it is the left behind surviving members that we are expressing our condolences to and who find a morsel of comfort from the strangers. It can be a simple hug, our mere presence by their side or a warm touch of hand. It does not need to be vocalised or contrived.

Usually on the phone " I just now heard the news" from my part is enough for the person on the recieving end.
By the way i had to make 2 such calls this month.

By thinking of their grief, we have done our part.

Kamalji · Dec 18, 2007

Mals,

Wonderful peice.Enjyoed reading every bit of it.The Venky part was damn good and his accent too.

Yes even i dont know what to say at condolences, and am at a loss for words.Ive realised ti s better to just be silent, and look serious and sober, instead of asking questions which the poor fellow has already answered hundreds of times.

Regards.kamal