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Pay In A Different Coin

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Thyagarajan, Oct 22, 2020.

  1. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    REALITY SHOW
    Patient : Doctor, the medicines you had written on the top of prescription is not available.
    Doctor : That is not medicine, I was trying to see if my pen was writing or not, just doodling.
    Patient : You Kamina, with this terrible handwriting, I had to go to 52 shops to check it out.
    Dammit , one pharmacist said too, that he will get it for me tomorrow.
    Another said, this company is now closed, shall I give you similar medicine from another company?
    Third one said, there is a huge demand for this medicine, you will get only in Black.
     
  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Image below :
    Schoolteacher: Hari - when asked why were you abscent the yesterday, you said you were not feeling well and I told you get doctors certificate. Did you bring it?

    Pupil Hari: yes mam. My mom & I asked the doctor. But he said he got it after great hardship and refuse to part with it.

    upload_2021-5-21_23-37-31.jpeg
     
    Lalithambigai and Mistt like this.
  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello: you "C" c is everything :hello:

    Did you notice that the "C" has shot to prominence in this Covid-19 era?

    See the Sea of Change that the letter "C" has brought!
    No one expected that the "C" would play a Completely overwhelming role compared with any of the other letters of English ALPHABET...

    Cough (C)
    Cold (C)
    Corona virus (C)
    Covid-19 (C)
    Case (C)
    Confirmed (C)
    Confinement (C)
    Contamination (C)
    Containment (C)
    Curfew (C)
    Two most serious "C"s are,
    Cemetery (C)
    Cremation (C)

    The possible remedial drugs & vaccines are,
    Covaxin, Covishield, Chloroquine (C)

    The beauty is, it started from China (C)....
    But at the same time,
    GOD smiled, and said...

    Cleanliness (is the remedy...)
    Courage (is the need of the hour...)
    Compliance to the expert advice...
    Contention to overcome the crisis...
    Clarity of thought...
    Cooperation with the fellow beings...
    Caring for the needy...
    and finally....
    "Clearance" is awaited and in a Short while..around 29th May '21
    "Cure" is definitely going to "Come"......
    Till then take vitamin C.
     
    Lalithambigai and KashmirFlower like this.
  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    complaints conundrum
    A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks,

    "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."
     
  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello: Lifeline
    is A Batchmate
    :hello:

    One day a Colonel Sa'ab from the Army, fell into a well. The soldiers would throw a rope into the well and pull the Colonel Sa'ab out.
    The moment the Colonel would come up, the soldiers would leave the rope snap to attention and salute.
    The Colonel Sa'ab would fall back into the well. This happened many times.

    Someone suggested that a Brigadier be requested for help-because HE wouldn't have to salute the Colonel. So one Brigadier Sa'ab arrived. He threw the rope into the well and the Colonel Sa'ab gabbed it. The Brigadier Sa'ab began pulling the rope. As soon as the Colonel Sa'ab reached the top of the well, he spotted the Brigadier Sa'ab. He immediately left the rope and saluted. And he fell back once more, into the well.

    There was total silence. Then everyone heard the desperate Colonel Sa'ab's voice from down below.
    "You idiots - get hold of a batch mate !!"

    MORAL OF THE STORY:Batchmates ARE important! They can save your life!
     
  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    upload_2021-6-6_14-33-38.png
    Trending definition:
    PhD : pizza Home Delivery
     
  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Trendy teaching of Anatomy class hour 10:10

    upload_2021-6-6_14-40-49.jpeg
     
  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello: HARBHAJAN CONVERT TO HARRIS
    &
    CHICKEN TURNS INTO POTATO :hello:


    Forty days - just before Easter is considered sacred period of fasting among orthodox Christians. During this period, they religiously follow the dictum of desisting from eating non veg that includes chicken.

    But then, for a punjabi residing in Rome, it is difficult around this period of forty days to skip chicken from his daily meal.
    One such fasting time, devout Christians living in his area were all observing their ritualistic fast.


    The invigorating “chicken-kurma” aroma from the home of punjabi was wafting though air, soon enveloped christians’ homes in the neighbourhood.
    The residents who all found the irresistible aroma hitting their nostrils tempting to long for eating chicken kurma Thandoori.

    It turned their mouth watering but because of their having to observe Easter Fast, were compelled to reluctantly kill temptation to eat any non-veg that includes chicken in any form.

    But then, the aroma of chicken Kurma from punjabi residence was so strong that few of the Christians stealthily began eating ..irked by this, orthodox among the neighbours went to residence of punjabi and wrangled and warned him that he should not cook chicken kurma anymore lest their fasting spoiled; & warned that he also should eat only veg until their forty days fasting was over.
    Fearing that they would turn against him and might be whacked if he disagrees with them, reluctantly agreed to their wish.

    Very next day afternoon, the aroma of chicken kurma began repleting the neighbourhood and hit the residents’ nostrils.
    Fed up with this circumstance, Collectively the residents discussed and decided to seek help of Pope. They went to cathedral, met the Pope - lodged complaint about Punjabi’s chicken kurma and it’s detrimental effect on their observing the Easter Fast.


    Pope known always for his aplomb, at once summoned the Punjabi. When he arrived, Pope in soft tone advised him to avoid inconvenience to devout catholics by not cooking chicken until the Easter is over.

    Next day too in the afternoon the air filled with that extra ordinary aroma of chicken kurma from the house of punjabi. Vexed neighbours, once again rushed to Pope and told that punjabi disobeyed his orders and found again cooking chicken.

    Seeing the distressed, the pope was in a slight quandary. A super idea crossed his mind. He decided to baptise the punjabi.

    Next day the punjabi was brought to Pope ; and after briefing him about Jesus Christ, Pope put him in water and dunk ‘s punjabi head thrice into a huge tank brimming with water and proceeded to convert him into a full fledged Christian.

    “What is your name?” Pope softly asked.
    In a polite humble tone Punjabi responded, "Harbhajan singh".
    Pope then dunk Punjabi’s head thrice into the tank water and uttered in stiff tone,
    “Henceforth, you are a Christian and your name is Harris. Harris. Harris.
    Am I heard? Your name is Harris. Starting today for next forty days, you shall not eat chicken. It is forbidden. This you would do in the name of Lord
    Jesus and promise”.

    Harbhajan rechristened Harris - had nodded in agreement.
    Those devout Christians who were watching all this proceedings from a distance, turned very happy, felt a sigh of relief.

    A beaming Pope was proud of his settling the issue.

    All were looking forward to the next day afternoon to watch what the punjabi would be doing...

    The irresistible extra ordinary aroma of chicken being cooked in his house was gently permeating the vicinity.


    Once again dismayed, the neighbourhood rushed to Pope .... and so the latter called the punjabi ......and enquired......

    “Revered Sir, I promised to Jesus Christ ......to speak the truth, I have not eaten chicken today too. Cooked potato only like yesterday...”

    The crowd shouted, “ lire, lire”

    Next day too the same story. He continued to say in the name of Jesus - am telling the truth. I cook only potato...


    A contemplating Pope was wondering that the man is swearing in the name of Jesus can’t be a lier. At the same time, the complaining devout can’t be telling untruth. He decided to discover the truth by a visit himself to the Harris’ kitchen.


    Next day just in the afternoon

    Pope went incognito to Harris kitchen.
    He was astounded with what he saw
    And swooned.

    Guess why?

    Harris was holding a fresh chicken in hand, dunking it thrice into a tall drum filled to brim with water, uttered thrice....

    “From today you are no more chicken.
    You are
    Potato - Potato - Potato”
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    If by dunking* Harbhajan thrice into water he can become Harris, why would a chicken too not turn into a potato
    ____________________
    *https://www.writingtips.cc/dip-vs-immerse-vs-submerge-vs-duck-vs-souse-vs-dunk/
     
  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Sexy secretary comes angrily out of Boss's cabin.. ♨

    Staff askd:
    wht hapend?

    Secretary:
    He asked me r u free tonight?
    I said yes !
    Rascal gave me 60 pages to type!
    -----------------------------------------------
    Shocking Introduction at a party...
    .
    One man to another ..
    Meet my wife tanya ..
    2nd one : ya, I know her.
    1st one : how..?
    2nd one : we were caught many a times sleeping together.
    1st one : Wat? (Angrily).. What the hell u r talking..??
    2nd one : during lectures in science & history classes.
    We were classmates.
    ----------------------------------------
    Police: R u married?
    Sardar: Yes, with a woman.
    Police <angrily> : Of course! Did u even hear of anyone marrying a man?
    Sardar: Yes, my sister did.
     
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  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello: SAREE SHOP & Sadhana :hello:

    I happened to see a Baba - monk - full of aplomb, ask him any questions any number of times, he would never get impatient and would always smile and answer. I was agog to know the secret if any behind it.

    upload_2021-6-18_16-50-55.jpeg
     
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