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Passive agressive husband

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by icyspicy, Jan 4, 2010.

  1. icyspicy

    icyspicy Senior IL'ite

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    How should i behave and deal with situations with a passive agressive husband and mil whos is staying with us permnenently.She tries to make her things,wishes done through her son (puts gun on son's shoulder to shoot)soshould i listen to my dh even though its actuallt my mils wish?

    Does any one of you know how to deal with this personality?
    Do i have to stay with my husband all the time if he is of this type.(Mil has called him to india for work n asked him to come alone,if he unwilling to take me along shld i still go with him or can i leave him alone)

    Please guide me on this.
     
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  2. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    ICY,

    Is your marraige arranged marraige or ?Does your mom had a MIL or no?

    From all your posts,I understand you don't want MIL.But I beleive it's really impossible for you to take away her from your life.So I think this is time you choose wether you want to stay in this marraige or not.

    If you give a choice between you and his mother to your husband,definitly he would choose his mother,becuase he can get another wife but your husband can't get another mother.

    So try to deal with your MIL diplomatically or ignore her statements or look for some job and stand on your legs instead of engaging your whole mind with just your MIL.Either do studies or try to get some job.

    I read in some other thread that your husband is demanding coocking.What if,your husband doesn't go to work and earn money and stay at home.Will you be happy with him?So as they work from morning to evening,they also expect women to be active at home.If you start work then he may not demand much of cooking from you.This is not your parents place where you will not have any responsabilties.

    You talk about all the time business,We don't know what kind of business they are running and what is your MIL role in it.If he has businnes work in india,she might have asked to come her son,as she might think buying another ticker is unnessary espensive.
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2010
  3. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    ICY

    I am terribly sorry to say this. But I have to. If you read other posts on this forum you would know how blessed and lucky you are for what you have. You dont seem to really understand what is the meaning of marriage. You sound like a very selfish and self centered girl.

    You have started so many threads abotu your problem, but you have to come up with the bottom line on what is it that you tried from the suggestions that were given in your previous threads to make things better.

    Expecting PILs to get out of your husbands life i.e their sons life is ridiculous. Would you be able to cut off your ties with your parents???

    You have this habit of running to your parents all the time, so why even ask the question whether you have to stay with such a husband??? Ask yourself and read all your posts loudly you would know the answer as to why you are even going through what you are going through. This is all in your brain created by you and you a stubborn girl who dont want to take any steps or initiative.

    Do you think if your inlaws totally cut off from their son i.e your husband, your situation / marriage would be any better??? I dont think so in million years. first of all change your attitude towards marriage. Marriage is about give and take, not always TAKING/EXPECTING
     
  4. kma

    kma Gold IL'ite

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    Hi

    Have been reading your posts. In the initial days of marriage, most of us dont feel like cooking since now a days mostly the emphasis is on education and career rather than home making. The rude jolt is when we get married and that we are responsible for all the house work since as you know Indian males are even more irresponsible in this regard than us. Ofcourse there are exceptions to all rules.

    So what u are undergoing is what most people undergo but get adjusted with time. Instead of getting angry with them for making you do all this work, take it as a challenge and show them that you are capable of doing much better than their expectations. Take pride in what u are doing. After all, it is YOUR house now. And also simultaneously search for a job. That way you will be out of the house and dont need to interact too much with MIL. Nobody gets 100% of what they want in life. We have to make the best of what we have.
     

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