PART 8-Mythili – Full moon and Breeze in my life THE END Use talashhun jo kho gaya hai Kahan milega who humsafar Jise tha maine kabhi bhulaya To yaad aaya hai aaj phir[ADNAN SAMI VIDEO ALBUM] I am searching for what I have lost Where will I get the company again Which I had forgotten for some time I remembered today again Mythili started having persistent cough and enduring breathlessness.Running from one ENT to other ENTS did not bring relief.Finally we were asked to see a pulmonologist.When he checked the oxygen saturation level it was 79 against the required 95.We started using Oxygen concentrator and CPAP machines.She was diagnosed with interstial lung disease[ILD]and were cautioned about the progressive nature of the disease.She was put on high dose of steroids which introduced a new set of problems like weakened immunity. When things became better we went on a holiday to Mysore and on return we found that she had picked up some infection which needed immediate hospitalisation.No doubt, life was never the same again but both of us decided and pretended that everything was normal. When her blood circulation weakened as a result of Pulmonary Arterial Thrombosis, she lost the will to survive. When I still held on with my hope for a dramatic recovery she said” I have lost the zest for life and the strength to fight”. Very often she called me, held my hand and profusely apologized for having subjected me to physical and mental strain. I took care of her as a baby and satisfied her every whim. This was my way of repaying the deep debt of gratitude I owed her for being a pillar of support through thick and thin and deftly steering me through official and family imbroglios. When our cook asked Mythili whether ours was a love marriage she replied-it was not but it is now. The final departure was peaceful and took place inside the lift between second and ground floor. I could not and still cannot believe that she protested against being taken to the hospital while we were in the second floor but had slumped by the time the lift reached the ground floor. The expression on her face was one of triumph that she had her own way at last. Most often in our married life, she had deferred to my judgment and decision but perhaps this was her last chance to show that she had a will of her own and proclaim “enough was enough” I miss the feeble good mornings. I miss serving her freshly brewed filter coffee. Over a period of time I had mastered the art of meeting her exacting standards. I miss sharing the highlight of the days’ news and FBs from her fellow bloggers. I miss her blush of discomfort while sharing a bawdy joke. I miss coaxing her to walk to the dining area. I miss giving her the cup of warm milk while retiring for the night. She was a simple and uncomplicated person. She would burst into laughter at the slightest provocation. I therefore called her Bubbles and shortened it to Babs. Her imagination ran riot all the time and knowing that I would make fun of her she would always preface her statement with”I may be totally wrong” and blush when I replied” You are absolutely right”. She could weave a story out of a simple anecdote like a silk saree from the mulberry bush. No wonder she had a fan following in her favourite website and the forum kindled her intellectual and imaginative best. She did not allow me to even correct the typographical errors.That she cooperated with me without resentment for celebrating the marriage of my four sisters sacrificing our resources was a shining example of her large heartedness.. Even today after nine years not a day passes without remembering her.She pops up like the ads in your mobile phone on some pretext or other. The end of our journey together and hand in hand and side by side from 1970 to 2011 came to an end on 8th November 2011.Had she been alive we would have celebrated our fiftieth wedding anniversary in royal style on 11th May this year.God willed it otherwise. I am 83 and the muffled drums are beating hard for a reunion with Mythili.We have to be philosophical as said in Naladiyar”settharai savar sumappar”meaning people who carry the dead will also die one day. PS- THIS EPISODE IS ALMOST A REPRINT OF WHAT I WROTE IN 2012.THE FLOWER HAS WITHERED BUT THE FRAGRANCE LINGERS.