Parenting by Working Mom - forum to jusge working mothers or to actually help them

beanstalk · May 29, 2011

Hi all,

Sorry if you find my note not agreeing with your thoughts. I am a pregnant woman about to bring a new life to this world. I am an independent woman who is firm in the decision to get back to work. I came into this forum specefically to find some good advices and help form working moms.
And yet i found innumerable post of stay at home moms judging working women no matter whats their tone. Please use a forum appropriately. Please done post about the choice you made and why working moms should leave everything to take the path you did. Rather stick to the theme of the forum and provided constructive advices.

Sorry if I upset anybody but I am really irritated after spending so much time on this forum and finding little information about what the forum is about and more about what this is not about.

Jananikrithsan · Jun 3, 2011

Re: Parenting by Working Mom - forum to jusge working mothers or to actually help the

To each their own here, noboby on purpose offends the other posters here!! If you are irritated then maybe you have not posted your query correctly , so do that if at all you want to post again! Mnay of us take time to read and reply so that we can be of some help, if you have not found your information the ask politely before just getting irritated!

orion80 · Jun 3, 2011

Re: Parenting by Working Mom - forum to jusge working mothers or to actually help the

Even i am a working mom and i am sometimes surprised by how firm some people are that their choice is good and others is bad.

But hey, to each their own...

GodIsOne · Apr 27, 2013

Re: Parenting by Working Mom - forum to jusge working mothers or to actually help the

I have felt the same here. I even replied to one of the threads. OP had gone on and on about all the sacrifices she has made to become a SAHM.

Each has its own pros and cons and each person's journey is different. Some people just don't get it. I, as a working mom, absolutely don't judge a SAHM mom. It would not take me a second to tell them that all they do is sit at home while their kids are at school. However some of the SAHMs say such outright insulting stuffs and some even had to guts to indirectly taunt me. The funny part is that most of them gave up their noble SAHM ideas when they got their EAD/GC.

friendlygirl · Aug 1, 2013

Re: Parenting by Working Mom - forum to jusge working mothers or to actually help the

well..i agree with you beanstalk...i felt the same too..
i think i have seen enough judgement from SAHMs how staying at home is the only way the kids will grow up to be alright. While they have every right to believe it..you don't want to be saying that to a working mom. the funny thing is the post is about how the working moms are judging them for their decision and what they don't realize is that they are doing the same thing to working mom!!!

There is no right or wrong..it is each person's preference...and why is it so hard to understand?

jhalli27 · Aug 2, 2013

Re: Parenting by Working Mom - forum to jusge working mothers or to actually help the

beanstalk.. i can understand what u are saying.. i too felt this at times.

when i was working full time - i got lots of negative vibes - guilt, sacrifice, etc

now that im not - there are different sets of problems.. worthlesness, money issues, self respect etc

bottom line is, there are EQUALLY pros and cons of Working mmother and SAHM.. no one can ever give a perfect solution. what works for one, cannot work for another. in my case - there are SO many issues.. dh never ill help, in laws, joint family, cooking for 7 adults and a child, my money committments, dh doesnt want to move out, no financial stability from dh, too much pressure from mil for cooking variety, kid's studies, kids drama/tantrums, 12-15 hrs working hrs for me, 4 hrs travel o work everyday, mil's poor health, negative talks at home, not great relationship with hubby, no outings, no cook, dh wants me to work, no help at home, dh doesnt give me a pie for my expenses, 5 yers im working and earning and looking after the child and myself, no vacations, the list could go one.

so i ALONE will have to decide what i should do. the difficult decisions are ONLY for me to make. no amount of advice and gyan will help me. my circumstances can change anytime. its my strength and faith that i have to consider while deciding. the about this forum - well, i stopped posting for advice for such decisions. right now even im in a BIG soup what to do.. but i have to make a decision.. and im not going to ask this forum. not because they are wrong,.. but because i know it will be of no help!!

so good luck

beanstalk · Aug 2, 2013

Re: Parenting by Working Mom - forum to jusge working mothers or to actually help the

Thankyou all for replies. This was at beginning of me joining ILs. And I cannot deny the fact that I was really disappointed with the replies people gave here in general on hjis forum specefically. It did put me off severely from ever posting on this forum. But in general, I have tried my best to be supportive and encouraing of women in our position and I know you all would do your best as well.

@Jhalli27, I completely understand your situation and sympathize with you but When I posted tjsi I had gone through so many threads asking for suggestions on how to manage with a job and 90-95% of replies comng back saying, is it not better to just leave your job. Think of how disappointing it is. I am overwhelmed, I come here for support, for smeone to say, its ok, it will get better, try doing this, this and this. But what I get is leave your job. I understand that we have freedom to speech, but a forum that is geared to help working mothers, should not drive women to other extreme. Anyways, I hope you are doing better.

I was wondering a few days back on how I started on ILs, and how nice it would be to drive this forum on a positive direvtion for us working moms

Btw, I gotta say as a working mom of 1 year old, I am so awed with all other working moms, who manage home and work life with their kids and their activities. It motivates me every time I see a post from such moms.

Rakhii · Aug 2, 2013

Re: Parenting by Working Mom - forum to jusge working mothers or to actually help the

Bean, how is it going these days? Is it getting better? I am a fulltime working mom too and I know how frustrating it can get when we dont get the support we need.
I can assure you one thing though, there is always someone else just like you wanting the same support. You will find them and you will relate with them. Dont let a few disappointments stop you from speaking your heart here.

abhigail · Aug 8, 2013

Re: Parenting by Working Mom - forum to jusge working mothers or to actually help the

Rightly said Rakhii,
Bean, I being a fulltime working mom and no one to support me after my working hours with my housework and taking care of baby, I know the trouble a lady goes thru.
And about all the SAHM, not all think the same but to those who feel we are not doing justice to our being mom's they don't know our situations.
So bean, don't loose heart and yes we are supermom's remember who manage everything without being selfish about our confort.
and hatsoff to u jhalli27, i totally understnd ur situation as i too have faced some of the issues u have. So ur decision (if that is helping u to keep sane) is the best and no one can judge ur condition other then urself or GOD.

Angel2013 · Aug 15, 2013

Re: Parenting by Working Mom - forum to jusge working mothers or to actually help the

hi friends,, i am also a working women, having a baby of 7 months old. I am planning to appoint a baby caretaker to look after my baby after i go to the job. and also i am worried whether its a good idea or not,. i got the baby after many struggles. so kindly advice,. i need to manage house hold works as well..