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one for the ladies- restrictions on hd (is it the same for you?)

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by jaagrutik, Apr 8, 2010.

  1. jaagrutik

    jaagrutik New IL'ite

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    hey guys well i guess this thread is aimed more at the girls. this has been floating in my mind for quite a while now. Im from the uk and now i live mostly in india travel back and fourth with my hd but i was wondering if this was the case for any of you ladies.
    ive been bought up in a very indian way although i has western roots tradition and religion has been a big thing in my family and it means alot to me.

    its a ladies in particular topic but ever since i have been bought up there is a tradition or way of doing things in my family which means that when someone is on there time of month they are not allowed to do certain things. ie. go to mandir, be near god, cook, go in the kitchen or even go near your hd. this has been passed on through the family as just one of those things. ive always thought and been told that it is about purity. you dont touch siritual things to preserve there purity. i guessed in proper indian traditon the husband is considered as a form of god?and so thats why there is a restriction there.
    i was wondering if it applys to any of you ladies out there. like for me ive been bought up this way so its a way of life now. im not against it or question it, i have friends who follow this a much more lightly than i do. Like at this sort of time i dont go near my hd, avoid sitting next to him, someome else even makes his food, tea whatever.
    i was thinking is it just a really old tradition that im following. As for my husband he doesnt really care. he takes these things lightly, its probably me who tries to preserve this more. he seems to respect what i have been bought up with and doesnt question it although totlally forgets at times and i have to remind him. esp when my parents are over.
    just wondering if this was something around for other ladies as well???
    jaagruti
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2010
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  2. Gooseberry

    Gooseberry Senior IL'ite

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    Re: one for the ladies

    Jaagrutik, In many cultures in India this is the system for those days in the month. My mom used to tell me and restrict me from going to the temple or near to God's idols. I asked my mom when I was 15-16yrs....Did God not make me then why he does not want to see me those days? My mom dismissed it as teenager rebelling. She said just do as I say. I somehow from childhood had this 'questioning a lot' nature which annoyed my mom specially. My dad was fine and explained everything though this subject I did not bring it up with dad.

    Anyway, we went to Tirupati for my cousin's wedding and I did not tell my mom that it was my time. I was 22 then. We went to see the God and I coolly walked all over the temple. Usually, I have slight cramps on the first day. So, that day I carried pain killer and when I was taking just as a precautionary measure my mom saw and asked me. I told her the truth. Believe me, the number of bad words I heard that day! OMG!! I thought she would kill me next. She cursed me right there in the temple that I will never get married, never be peaceful, etc etc etc whatever curse possible on this earth....

    OK that was in June and in December I was married and now have 2 kids and am happy as anyone else here. I asked my mom after my wedding what she thinks of not seeing God those days and what I have violated and what happened to her curses. She just changed the topic....:)

    Jaagrutik, I think all these were made as rules with a reason but over time they lose the relevance due to change in lifestyles, changes in society.
    According to me, I don't find it any wrong. My husband also does not believe in it and never restricts me those days. If I feel little uncomfortable I take a mild pain killer and be done with it. My life does not change even a tiny bit on those days. We can afford to not cook, or not enter into kitchen if we have anyone to do it for us otherwise we need to change as per our circumstances...right? In olden days women had lot of physical work and so those days they were given rest. So, when do you ask someone to rest. This was the ideal time when it was not comfortable for women to do heavy physical work. Now, times have changed and according to me we need to continuously amend our traditions also like our constitution to suit our present day needs...:)
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2010
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  3. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    Pardon me, but isn't this a repeat of what you have got going in General discussion?
     
  4. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    Our ancestors specially women had to do lot of difficult/back breaking work.
    • Get water for cooking,cleaning,etc from well or pond as no indoor plumbing.
    • Cooking had to be done in an open fire pit and just to start the fire it was difficult.They had to gather the firewood too.
    • There was no attached bacth and no chance of sanitary conditions.
    Now what they had good was a huge joint family.So this was a good way to give ladies 4-5 days break a month.Also no concerns that kids or Dh will suffer.

    There are many things in our culture that gives ladies breaks,makes sure she gets gifts and makes sure she gets to see her parents too.

    Fast forward to today..it does not apply anywhere.As long as you are not hurting others sentiments or religious beliefs...do whatever you want in your house.To all their own...

    JMO
    FL
     
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  5. kainaath

    kainaath Senior IL'ite

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    hi jagruti....
    how does it matter if one is in those special days.
    i always believe that v have been created by GOD, and it is He puts us thru this stuff.
    what does one do when they live alone with their husband..then who cooks and cleans the house....if so called v are in the impure state of time. We live in a world where tradition and customs hve taken over the common sense and v are forced to live a lieful life. :drowning
     
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  6. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Very well explained.
     
  7. jaagrutik

    jaagrutik New IL'ite

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    yey double posted by mistake sorry guys
     
  8. crazywriter

    crazywriter Platinum IL'ite

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    as already mentioned by someone, it was primarily brought about for the relief of the woman. the purpose is to give her rest from all domestic and wifely responsibilities, as a woman's body is weak during her periods.

    as far as staying out of temple goes, it is not compulsory, it is your comfort level.you can choose to enter or stay out.
     

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