1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

On taking offence at jokes!

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, May 21, 2007.

  1. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,009
    Likes Received:
    15,156
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Male
    It was one of those cosy post-lunch gatherings which gave us ample opportunity to masticate not only the food we ate but the interesting events of our simple lives as well. In fact if anyone with a wee bit of literary skill in him sat through one such gathering of ours, he would produce a book that would remain the chart buster in Amazon for weeks. On that particular day that I started telling you about, one of my senior colleagues was narrating an incident of burglary that took place in his residential colony. He was one of the friendliest seniors with endearing qualities whose popularity rating amongst us was quite high. Whenever he had something to say, we always lent him our best ear.


    Coming back to the burglary incident, he was getting really over-excited when he described the event in its minute details. We all listened to him in rapt attention registering the appropriate sounds whenever he paused to take a breath to show we were with him. Finally he finished his tale that left us feeling as if we had just witnessed a combination of Chase a Crooked Shadow and Dial M for Murder. I broke the long silence that ensued with a question to him as to "how a thief from outside could come in when you were all there".

    Within a fraction of a second of my innocuous question, all hell broke loose. The smile that my senior colleague always wore just froze and his face became a deep crimson. His whole frame started shaking in fury as he launched a diatribe against me. He reviewed my whole career in a few choice epithets and in conclusion expressed his surprise about why and how the bank should feel obliged to retain a dim-witted imbecile like me on its role!

    My other friends who were in the room started melting away one by one leaving me alone to face his wrath. I just sat there speechless. I just did not understand what made him so angry. I was shocked to see the man, who we all revered as the best, coming out in such a strange colour. I slowly got up and left the room leaving him alone to expend his residual fury in any manner he thought fit.

    The mystery of what really caused him to get mad with me remained unsolved for a few days until I met again the friends who were witness to this sordid episode. We were just reviewing the incident and it was evident that our senior colleague who we all held in such high estimation had indeed lost that pre-eminent position. One of them then explained what caused the explosion.

    Do you remember my question to him? I asked him how a thief from outside came in when you were all there. What I meant was how an intruder could ever make an entry at a place that was crawling with people. But he laid special emphasis on the word ‘outside’ in my question and interpreted it as how a thief from OUTSIDE came in when you (interpreted as thieves inside) were all there! I was appalled at such a warped interpretation of a simple question and after hearing this, my senior colleague lost whatever little respect I had for him.
    G.C.Lichtenberg, a German physicist and writer, well known for his wonderful quotations once said “Nothing reveals a man’s character better than the kind of joke at which he takes offence”. My senior colleague perhaps thought I was having a dig at him with my ill-timed joke. Even if he thought so, he could have just laughed it off and risen further in our estimation. But by choosing to interpret my question in the most peculiar manner and feeling offended by it, he had only committed hara-kiri of his own character.

    I felt sorry for him but since he felt offended by what he thought was an outright insult, I owed him an apology. So when I met him again, I offered him my unconditional apology which he accepted with his familiar smile and a pat on my shoulders. His smile was as charming as ever but it did not touch my heart.
     
    sindmani and mikku like this.
    Loading...

  2. radhavenkatesh

    radhavenkatesh Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    456
    Likes Received:
    25
    Trophy Points:
    40
    Gender:
    Female
    many times wot we try to convey is misunderstood causing problems if they are easy to handle and if we have the courage to face them all goes well and we emerge out happily orlse the situation is v worse.
    we should not expect people to understand our mind but at the same time others shd also think we talk only when we have something to convey.
    sometimes i feel mounavratam is best for people like me who cant keep quiet. :)):goodidea:
     
  3. Lavanya

    Lavanya Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    785
    Likes Received:
    21
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    I guess all of us interpret the same in thing in different ways based on our previous experiences or our guilt or our innermost fears. We take offense to things that we think is extremely serious & provocative while the same scenario passes by without a second thought from another. This is even worse when the person who converses uses a language that they are not fluent in. Sometimes knowing a person also makes you read between the lines & makes you wonder whether it was an innocent joke or was pun intended or whether they really meant to insult us verbally. I go through this almost everyday at work where some of my collegues don't really see eye to eye with me & think that I may have read more into it than that was meant. Unfortunately like I said before, knowing the person makes you realize that some people really want to stab you with their words.
     
  4. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    8,454
    Likes Received:
    5,070
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Oh yes Cheeniya, there are plenty of those sour folk all around us. I prefer to stay far away from such likes. Alas, one often never knows who that person is until it is a bit too late:) And sometimes, you have the misfortune and it will be your own brother or sister...just no escape:icon_frown:

    L, Kamla
     
    sindmani, RajiKarthick, Gae3 and 7 others like this.
  5. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,124
    Likes Received:
    233
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Gender:
    Female
    dear sri,
    this article only reminds me of one thing the husband and wife joke in these sections, where the lady asks the husband:
    have u seen the couple next door he kisses her so often why dont u be like that, and phat comes the answer i still dont know her...
    hope i am not making a joke here and dont misinterpret what i have mentioned here, otherwise it will take another load of discussion..regards sunkan
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    33,568
    Likes Received:
    3,741
    Trophy Points:
    490
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Sri,
    This week's post makes interesting reading, more because, I enjoyed the following words of you, very much:

    We all listened to him in rapt attention registering the appropriate sounds whenever he paused to take a breath to show we were with him.

    In tamil, don't we call it "oom kottarathu" so that the speaker goes ahead with the confidence that the listeners are all "ears with him" !

    I have been at the receiving end of similar experiences, with my simple statements, twisted beyond recognition - very often, I am amazed how thoughts which were nowhere in our mind, could occur to them.:oops:
    Well, warped (or distorted?) interpratation makes us not only lose our respect for them, but thereafter we cannot be natural in out interaction with them.

    Let me share a joke here with you, Sri. A month after Vish joined TVS, one day his boss came to his cabin, asking for Sunday Hindu. Vish answered him" Sir, we are all Hindus everday. I do not know of anyone who is a Hindu only on Sundays!"
    Sometimes, he is so subtle with his jokes, that this "maramandai" takes a few nano-seconds to understand what he is driving at !

    Well, now tell me, did this really happen or is this a product of your fertlile imagination? Whatever, it was very enjoyable to us, though may not have been so for you !

    Love,
    Chithra.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  7. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,009
    Likes Received:
    15,156
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Radha
    There are two sides to Mouna Vratam for ordinary folks like me.
    When we observe Mouna Vrata, we may save ourselves from incurring the wrath of others through some ambiguous remark. But when we observe Mounam, our mind becomes intensely active and it is not good for someone whose mind is worse than a drunk monkey!
    Also, mounam can be exasperating for the other person who is communicating with you! How tiresome it used to be watching Radhika as Selvi not uttering a word episode after episode!
    I suppose it is best to do whatever comes to our mind and take the consequences in our strides!
    sri
     
  8. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,009
    Likes Received:
    15,156
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Lavanya
    You are right about people who excel in puns! You are never sure if they are praising you or having a dig at you. I feel very uncomfortable with such persons!
    It also happens that mood can play a dominant role in how a person interacts with others. Bad mood brings down the level of tolerence drastically and in times like that, even a light remark can set passions aflame! The person who has been mentioned by me in my narration has in the past taken even direct digs at him sportingly. I guess that he had an upset mood when the fateful remark was passed by me. I did apologise to him in any case!
    Sri
     
  9. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,009
    Likes Received:
    15,156
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Kamla
    Nothing can be done if the person roused to fury through our interaction happens to be a sibling or a close relative!
    Incidents such as this have mellowed my interactions so much that some people might even call me a bore!
    I avoid controversies of all kinds at all times!
    Sri
     
  10. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,009
    Likes Received:
    15,156
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Sunkan
    That was a good one and must remember to use it at my next visit to the Club!
    There is nothing to misinterpret in that joke because the husband did mean whatever he intended to convey thro his rejoinder!
    He snubbed his wife and at the same time made his intention clear!
    Ore kallula rendu mangai!:)
    Sri
     

Share This Page