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NRI marrying Indian

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Kelly, Nov 4, 2007.

  1. Kelly

    Kelly New IL'ite

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    Hi there ladies,

    I have bit of a tricky situation. I am still engaged to my finacee that is in India and I am in NZ (we are having immigration problems at the moment arghh!!) We are of ages 25/26.

    My fiance is born and breed in India, and I am the opposite, I was born in NZ, which is a western country. I have been bought up in a traditional Indian family, yet I still have some westerness in my ways.

    Now the problem is how will my fiance cope with being in a western country? I know I will be here to support him and all, but how will he cope?

    Are any of you ladies in the same situation as me? or have any of you ladies been in the same situation as me? (Being a Indina born in a western country, marrying an Indian man from India?) How did your fiance/husband cope being in a western country, how did your life turn out?

    Sometims I feel sad for my fiance as he will be leaving his friends & families to be with me, starting his life again, so I wonder what he is feeling? And why is it, that is either spouses is from the western country, that he or she that is from India ends up going to that western country?

    How can I help my fiance when he finally arrives with his new life?

    Kelly
     
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  2. CharuKaur

    CharuKaur Senior IL'ite

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    Re: NRI marring Indian

    Dear Kelly

    Firstly i appreciate your kind thoughts! It seems to be a 'culture' where spouses move across countries after marriage, specially when women are from India. And the practise seems to be so taken for granted. I am really glad to know that you want to help your husband getting comfortable with the new env he would be entering in.

    Well, no offence meant, but generally men marry NRI women to attain a foreign citizenship. So in case that is one of the reasons for your marraige also, he would already be geared to learn about the westerness you are talking about.

    In any case, being partners you would have to learn about each others' traditions and customs. trust me, even two Indian families have tonne's of differences and those are revealed only once the couple gets to stay together.
    So i would suggest, keep your cool and just take things as they come. Just keep him apprised of any severe weather conditions that might be prevalent in your area, so he can be prepared. Still better if he can go over the internet to learn some basics about NZ - that would be good for his confidence as well.

    All the best for your upcoming life!
    apologies if my words hurt you :-(

    Charu..
     
  3. Kelly

    Kelly New IL'ite

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    Re: NRI marring Indian

    Dear CharuKaur

    What an interesting point you have made - that had never crossed my mind (re citizenship) but I am 100 % sure that was not the reason for our marriage, I have know him for over a year & a half (both our parents agree for our marriage) and it was an arrange & love marriage.

    Well thank your for your comment, I really appreciate it.

    Also to any of the other ladies reading this, What did your husband do to make you feel welcome into a western country? or help you settle in, in a Western country?

    How did you ladies overcome from home sickness??

    Look forward to all your replies.

    Kelly:hiya
     

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