NRI husbands considering Indian wives so cheap - The magnitude of the problem.

IG,

I beleive all these things get coverd on Indian TV.As far the people who live in US,won't get to see those stories.

Atleast 50% of people on this website may live in US and most of the people might have good husbands.

Just my View.Some people might be doing it,like your might also have cases in india.But can't blame the whole world(All NRI husbands)

 

I think its got more to do with the attitude. I've been living abroad since 2years. My outlook on many aspects changed. But to what extent you stick to your value system and roots depends on many factors. My friend's colleague is from Kakinada (Small town in AP). He has a GF here who is from Belgium. His parents were against this, but he moved in with her (live-in relationship). He sees nothing wrong in it. If it doesnt work out in the long term, he's probably going to settle down with an arranged marriage. This doesnt necessarily mean he is bad or something, but it doesnt go well with my value system.

I consider keeping such things in the dark and getting married to someone is cheating. Its cheap.

Also, I think a lot of NRI guys take their wives for granted because of the financial dependency.... 90% of the cases go on H1 dependent visa and hence cannot work... and after a few months, when the see someone else's wife working, jealousy starts (based on true story of a friend) ...

 

IG, Resident of India or NRI, if a persons intention is to cheat, he is going to find a way to cheat. So, I wouldnt say the problem is only with NRI's. Its with every one. If its an arranged marriage, its important that the background check is done.

I dont mean to derail your thread but I can give you an example. My own example. Before I got married to DH, I was engaged to someone from Hyderabad. After meeting him for the first time, he came across as a wonderful person. We spoke on phone for a few weeks and he said that he is working as a manager in Dell. I somehow didnt go into too many details...Infatuation you see. I already had a great job in England and before going back I asked him to send his resume to me. The intention was that I sponsor him to come to UK after marriage. 1 day stretched to 1 month and still no resume. I kept asking him and he kept postponing.

Then it struck to me that he could actually be lying to me about job and asked my friend in Dell to persuade some HR friends to check about him. It turns out he is not employed with Dell. Later we also found out that the penthouse which they claimed to be theirs is rented.

We broke off the engagement because he cheated even before we got married. I was 1 month away from wedding date.

Like I said, women should be careful...very careful when it comes to marriage, NRI or otherwise.

 

It would be interesting to know what percentage of NRI's are from Gujarat and Punjab. Because from what I've noticed, there are a lot of gujarati NRI's and a lot of Punjabi NRI's (especially in Canada). So.... are we seeing a lot of bride abandonments from these communities because that is the trend in those states, or is it because they have the highest rate of NRI's, and hence the most opportunity to do such a thing.

Because I think if every state in India had an equal number of NRI's, we would probably see nearly equal abandonment rates accross the country. I don't think Gujarati's or Punjabi's are inherintly bad, I just think they make up the largest number of NRI's. For example, my dh is Gujarati, and there were lots of people from that community where we lived in Tampa. However, it was really really rare that I would meet somebody from say, Kashmir or Bihar. But I'm sure if Biharis were as numerous abroad as Gujarati's, we would hear similar stories of abandonment happening in the Bihari community. I THINK. I guess we would only know for sure if someone did a study on it.

As for why SOME nri men dump their wives back in India.... I think it's because they may be torn between the western life they have become accustomed to in the U.S. (which may include dating, bachelor life, etc) but still have relatives with eastern values urging them to go the traditional route for marriage and "settle down". Then there are those who just want to collect dowry and make off like bandits. I knew of a guy in the U.S. who got married in gujarat to a girl from the next village over from his, and then left her there to "wait for visa". She's still there waiting years later. He got married only because his sister wanted to see him "settled". His sister even picks out his socks and undies. Without her he'd be lost. So until his sister decides to bring over the wife, the guy is happy to live without her.

It's sad when hopeful new brides get dumped like that. I hope all these young women get justice and are able to find happiness.

 

To be fair an NRI is considered a very good catch , people sometimes do not investigate as they find it hard to do so .
The news item was about girls from middle class background , mediocre education leading a miserable life after such marriages.
Its common to find entire families migrating , being sponsored by the Son -IL.
It there is a choice between an NRI guy and a desi guy who would be chosen ?? There is the lure of $ , foreign country and girls fall for the glamour.
The parents want an arranged marriage complete with horoscope matching, dowry, the guy succumbs marrying and leaving the bride to look after the aged parents .

 

i my self NRI from AP studied and living in US for past 5 yrs about to get married. in AP this is not such a big problem but may be some cases might have got reported. but i do believe you have to expect some differences in their values compared to most people back home. " WEST is more of speak u r mind compared to our own indian" this air will bring in that change could be good or bad. but plz dont say that they think indian wives are cheap. they dont think their own culture people are cheap.

optimist