I updated myself with many courses, fixed my resume and started applying from last year. Got few interviews but many did not work.Fortunately,got one job but she wanted me to come from 9 am to 5.30 with travel distance of 40 minutes for $10 per hour.My hubby was dead against it and felt I will become even more miserable coz he is unavailable to help coz of his crazy work hours,kid will find it tough,salary too meagre and literally he feels it is a desperate move right now.He feels the kid has to atleast be in middle school for me to work again for such long timings for a start with limited salary. Anyways I still try.Thanks to covid,everything took a toss.Tried for remote,nothing happening. They want me to be in person but hubby said that in our area schools are still in hybrid mode and kid will be home most days so he wants me to try only remote.Plus he does not want me to work outside this covid time. Again hell broke losetodau and fight escalated. He bluntly asked me" who are you trying to prove by getting a job?" For me..I am 40 now..by middle school I will be close to 45 with a 13 year gap in my resume.Who will give me a job then?Also,to start a 9 to 5 job at that age for small salary..honestly feels demotivated but I feel like I have no choice. Husband gets very upset with me over this issue. I am so scared guys..after my kid grows up,I will be free.what will I do in life?Though am happy now and keep busy with hobbies,housework and kid..after a while what will happen?Kid will leave home when am 50.and then what?? I really want to do something in life.I honestly am an introvert in real life and to be a blogger,something to do with lot of people it is tough.let me be honest,Cooking and babysitting zero interest. I thought I will try something in fitness but husband is not encouraging and he says he knows he too well and feels my passion for fitness is different from taking it as a profession. It is one of those sickening days. MIL today who bluntly told me "Next year,no second argument..am coming to USA.I am bored being here in India.so you guys do not plan any vacation in summer .I am planning to come there.it is a done deal". I got so irritated and this is one of the reason I am desperately looking for a job. Another thing is am tired of my co sis who has a second baby (3 years old )and she keeps pricking me everytime saying that am done with kids,all the time free and how she is suffering with a small child and working so hard. just want to run away from all these people and hide behind a job.some money could be motivating. For me some job is needed to escape from reality.am desperately applying for jobs like that itself is a 9 to 5 job,calling up staffing agencies,nothing is working. how to even proceed? what is the next step?