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no action plz help me??

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by swa9, May 20, 2010.

  1. swa9

    swa9 New IL'ite

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    i am swa i am married one year happen.but no action happen.Any problems will be for my health.if now the action happens any problem will be to my health.i don't want now pregnant.what should i do i don't have any knowledge abt this please help me what shoul i do and my health will be ok.thank in advance.
     
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  2. rosenav

    rosenav Silver IL'ite

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  3. swa9

    swa9 New IL'ite

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    yes its my problem only no reason i am not getting any feeling bcoz no action happened. Now this month i did not get period if i go for action for the first time i will get any problem.i don't want to be pregnant now what should i do please give advice.thanks in advance.
     
  4. mridusudha

    mridusudha Silver IL'ite

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    If you are intimate with your husband then you will get feeling and can have sex. I am surprised that your husband waited this long!!!!

    There will not be any problem for your health if you have sex.
    If you do not want to get pregnant then please use birth control pills or condoms.
     
  5. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Swapna,
    I remember you raising something along the same lines few months back in the Me & My spouse forum.. But you were not clear enough then and even now.

    Please take time to explain what is your problem with respect to getting closer with your DH. Why so much wait? I believe you had some issues other than this.. How is everything going?
     
  6. swa9

    swa9 New IL'ite

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    hi
    the problems are those which i posted in the last thread.like he likes me to do job but i don't want by forcing.i said please don't force me to do job ,he will say ok after someday again he will start.i am afraid of if i will be with him like this after some days ,month,year.who DH will look like me if i don't do job.i asked him if ur intersted to do job ur wie then why did u ask before.sometime he will be clam and sometimes he will say i asked(bur he did not ask)after engaggment i said abt my studies i fail in every degree.i asked i said before na so i why did u marry me.he will engaggment happen na so i cannot reject you.i want to be friendly,i said to him also.but when sometimes my leg touchs to him,then he will say u will treat ur husband like this only,ur parents showsl like this repect only he will say.like that for everything he will argue.i said my sister helped me very much for my marriage for that sake i need to keep for her one tulam gold but he don't understand he will say she help ur parents but not for me so no need.But i am trying to forget all these thing but cannotalso i will try,but i don't want to be pregnant now i don't no knowlegde abt intercousre ,i am not getting period regularly ,if one month comes anyother will no ,now this month i am not getting .so if i will go ahead i will get any health problem. please advice me.thanks in advance,.
     
  7. rosenav

    rosenav Silver IL'ite

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    Okay I got some knowledge abt your problem now, so your Dh wants you to work but you don't want to work and you have told this to him before marriage as well.

    What is your problem in working? are you not confident? as you stated that you are not good in academics, still what is your highest leave of degree, you may look for some small jobs which will help you boost your confidence, Interacting with new ppl will bring self confidence., even if you dnt want to work ... try finding volunteer jobs in your area , if you get out of teh house fr a while you will make new frnds and feel better.

    As i mentioned earlier if you dnt want to get pregnant , ask your DH to use condoms when having sex or you can also use birth control pills. It could be that you are too stressed out and that could be the reason for your delay in periods.
     
  8. mridusudha

    mridusudha Silver IL'ite

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    Swapna,

    Having intercourse/sex will not lead to pregnancy if you use proper protection. I think this is your main worry. YOU DO NOT WANT TO GET PREGNANT RIGHT NOW!!
    So use protection like condoms or birth control pills. Your periods are not regular because you are getting stressed out. The more you relax mentally, your periods will get regular. Also having sex will not cause any health problems.

    Keeping things aside - Why are you messing your marriage with small issues like giving gold for your sister? I can understand that your sister helped you a lot and you want to give her something in return but why spoil your married life with such small issues.

    You can also give your sister some other gifts other than gold. Gold is expensive these days!!! Don't force your husband now. May be after sometime you can give some gift to your sister rather than now.., Try to be nice and loving towards your husband. If you don't fight and show him that you care then even he might give back the same love.

    Also, with job situation I agree with Rose..Try out different options.
    I am not sure about your visa status but is your husband forcing you to get a software job??

    Swapna, fighting will not lead to anything. The more you argue with each other the more your relationship will get spoiled. Instead try to sit down and talk with him and tell your fears/concerns.

    Hope things work out for you soon.
     
  9. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Dear Swapna,
    I tried to break down your issues based on your post. Looks like there are too many discrete problems that you are trying to make a cocktail out of.. Deal one thing at a time. Sort your issues and prioritise them. Then attack one by one.

    You know, start a new thread in Me & My Spouse, take up one issue at a time and see if you can get some good suggestions from fellow ladies.

    As for the intimacy thing, please be clear as to why the year long wait. It does not sound normal.. was it you who had been postponing or your DH? and why?

    Is this situation the basis for the disconnection between you guys or is the disconnection the basis for this situation?
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2010
  10. swa9

    swa9 New IL'ite

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    from 3weeks to my bust r paining but period did not come at this moment i will go for action any problem will come.if i use birth control pills or something after somemonths will be pergent.you all had send sites i have seen but those all abt pregency.i don't have any knowlege for action please suggest me.
     

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