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Newly Married - Questions about Intimacy!

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by lalithakumar, Apr 3, 2008.

  1. Temp123temp

    Temp123temp New IL'ite

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    Re: Vaginismus..pls help..urgent

    thanks for ur replies..i have already been to gyno few times..she told its vaginismus n fear is due to anxiety..m trying by myself too..hav u heard of vaginal dilators? do they help? if you know or have heard anybdy getting success with it, pls let me know..thanks
     
  2. Prabhalakshmi

    Prabhalakshmi New IL'ite

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    Mmmm....sort of sticky situation. We had some trouble as well....I mean it was so embarrassing to go through all those questions that was asked as part of first visit to fertility specialist. In Garbarakshambigai fertility centre, especially when we hadthe elaborate consult with dr. Priya kannan, she was particular. Opened a can of worms!!! We were sent to one dr. Vijaysarathi who visits centrepointclinic in gopalapuram. We improved quite a bit. Still on it though. Feeling better....after all these years!
     
  3. cheenu123

    cheenu123 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi, I have been married for an year now and I am madly in love with my DH. The problem is that both of us are still virgins. Moreover, from day-1, I was on a contraceptive which I left a few days back. The contraceptive played a havoc with my life. In this last one year, I have put on a lot of weight, I have become very sensitive and highly irritable. Worst, I have developed cysts in my ovaries. I wonder how females across the globe have babies and how this process of losing virginity could be so simple and pleasurable. Earlier I was scared, now I am losing interest gradually. I wonder, cant we continue throughout life as a couple without intercourse. One of the docs suggested me some " Fenton's operation". But I read harrowing reviews about the procedure so dint go for it. I just dont know how to come out of this virginity issue, please help me. I have been to a couple of more gynecs as well but they find it difficult to comprehend that I am still a virgin. Also, why did I get PCOS after marriage? And will intercourse help me?

    Please reply friends.
     
  4. cheenu123

    cheenu123 Gold IL'ite

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    Is nobody going to help me out?
     
  5. Vasumathy

    Vasumathy Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Cheeni,
    May be because of weight increase after marriage you had PCOS. Try reduce the excess weight. That will help you to control the situation.
    There are many helps given in this thread for virginity troubles. Check them. It will help you.
    Try to relax. Tension during intercourse will not hep in proceeding further. So, try to calm yourself & then proceed. Hope your troubles will end soon!
    Take care.
     
  6. bloregal

    bloregal Senior IL'ite

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    hi cheenu,
    i m going thru the same thing from past year and a half.

    I have been to 2 gynos and the first suggested me to undergo surgery for hymen removal or correction.(before going to this 1st gyno i could hardly insert 2 fingers).after insisting on providing alternative solution to avoid surgery she asked me to use lignocaine hydrochloride gel( 2%) and said it would help in insertion as it causes numbness and asked me keep trying using my fingers,i did use it and bled on inserting an object( which was of a circumference equal to 4 fingers)covered with surgical gloves(though using dilators would have been a more hygienic option).

    I thought of going for a second opinion and told about having bled after using that gel and this gyno after examining said it seems perfectly fine and penetration should not be an issue. she asked me to try ky jelly which is a good lubricant and makes penetration less painful, but havent succeded yet. Just waiting for the day when it happens.

    :cry:
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2014
  7. MeenakshiY

    MeenakshiY New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I have got married 3 years ago and TTC for 2 years. Basically, Im a little sensitive and expecting baby for 2 yrs makes me even more sensitive.

    Every month If i get a slight changes in my abddomen or body like cramping, symptoms similar to pregnancy(which is really not),etc, immediately I start imagining of the beautiful news. And If at all my periods is delayed even by 1 single daythinkingsmiley. That's all!! You know how anxious i become and start pester my DH and Mom. Then after i get my periods as usual i end up getting disappointed :roll:!! I'm new to IL, after reading the posts posted by many ILites, many of my doubts have been cleared and I feel good.

    I have the following uncleared doubts even now (after 3 years of marriage).

    1. Regarding TTC: Have a doubt whether full insertion is necessary or partly insertion is sufficient for Conception.
    2. What to do if the insertion is difficult as the vagina is very slippery(if the 'thing' slips off instead of going in)?
    3. What are the Dos and Donts for the follwoing events:
    i. Immediately after having IC?
    ii. After stopping IC for TTC i.e. after my fertilized time is over and Im waiting for the news?
    iii. After missed period.

    Why Im asking event wise is Im so concerned about any small mistake I do will make TTC difficult.

    So, dear ILites, Kindly clarify my doubts and share your valuable tips and suggestions which you feel will greatly help me and many Girls/Ladies who are in TTC.
     
  8. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Normally the doctors advice you to take a medical check up on your ability to conceive naturally after 1 yr of TTC if you are under 30 years of age. If you are 30+ then it should be 6 months natural try to have the check up done.

    Since its been 2 years in your case, regardless of your age, it is better to have a complete check-up. I would advice both of you to have your bodies checked.

    Not for treatments or stuff, just to ensure that nothing is wrong.

    Not everyone is blessed with a baby immediately after marriage. It is perfectly normal for couples to have kids after 2-5 years, naturally. So stay focused.

    However, our biological clock doesn't wait for too long. I don't want you to wait blindly with only hopes and prayers. In any case it is to be treated with medically, it is always advisable to take the course right away.

    As for IC, they say you need to life your lower body part with a support of a pillow and wait for a couple of minutes after the IC in order for the sperms to travel fast. Then you can wash.

    If you and your H have no medical problems, there is no need to restrict your IC, or the patterns to have a baby. It is better to predict the ovulation dates with a kit, and try accordingly. Also having a peaceful mind, and balanced diet/weight matters a lot.
     
  9. MeenakshiY

    MeenakshiY New IL'ite

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    Hi SGBV,

    Thank you for your suggestions. yes we have taken medical exams and ensured that nothing is wrong. That is reason why I become anxious that when everything is proper why I couldn't concieve...
     
  10. rmuramka

    rmuramka Gold IL'ite

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    Dear MeenakshiY,
    I totally understand your anxiety and worry. But the key here is stress....if you are stressed out as to why its not happening...it will inturn affect your body. Unlike most of us...who have minor problems in TTC journey which we are trying to address through medication...you both have gotten yourselves checked and good to know nothing is wrong with both of you. That's enough of relief for you people. Ask me....I have thousands of things going on in my mind..regarding the medication...again going for tests..change in medications etc etc etc. Thanks your stars...everything is fine with you. As others mentioned...not everyone is lucky enough to conceive immediately after marriage.
    Relax.......do not make the TTC journey mechanical. Infact forget that you are TTC. eat good food...exercise..keep your mind calm..it'll happen when it has to. Do not let this unwanted stress affect your body ..in any undesired way.

    It'll Happen...and very soon hopefully...:thumbsup
     

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