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Newly Married - Questions about Intimacy!

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by lalithakumar, Apr 3, 2008.

  1. sundaris

    sundaris New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I have a personal problem which I cannot share with anyone. I got married last month and back from honeymoon. We could not do IC at all because my DH is not able to put in as it is very small. We tried nearly ten times but its too small to go in and slips away. I have heard from my married friends that it will be really big and will be painful when it enters our opening in the initial stages. But in my case, its the other way. I am not able to feel anything when he enters and within few seconds it slips away. Is there a way to make it big? My close friend asked me to massage and stroke it but I don't feel like doing it. Its just one month and I feel embarassed to ask him about this. I had too many dreams and I am shattered now.

    Can anyone tell me what could be the reason and how to overcome it?
     
  2. digezt

    digezt Senior IL'ite

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    Hi


    This happens to most of the couples initially. This is more of performance pressure. indulge in more foreplay and preferably oral. it stimulates the blood vessels and erection is more sustained. always ensure that you are fully aroused(wet) before insertion.

    a heart to heart talk, setting the mood and ambience plays a vital role in love making. ensure that both of you are relaxed.
     
  3. virilevisu

    virilevisu Senior IL'ite

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    before he gets the full erection he might be trying to insert...or you might be forcing him to insert before he is fully prepared and that is why its slipping off ......as diezt said..indulge in more foreplay...you can get more educational videos on net..you can google them...and get expertise... ;-) all the best...



     
  4. gshanti

    gshanti New IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    Nice to see the ladies here giving valuable suggestions. I am married for 2 months now. I have an embarassing problem. I am noticing that whenever my DH involves in foreplay he often strokes his penis in one hand and stimulates me with the other. I am not getting pleasure because of this. He fondles my breasts nicely but again its just one hand that does the act. When I asked him about it, he says its natural and all guys do this. I even told him that you fondle me and I can stroke it for you the way you want but he does not listen. Because of this, he also ejaculates quite early when I am longing for more. This frustrates me. Even when he places his mouth in my private part, he keeps stroking his thing. Is he really addicted to masturbation? How should I overcome this?
     
  5. uma

    uma Senior IL'ite

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    Hi gshanti,

    Many men have become quite an expert at masturbation because they have been doing it for a long time until marriage. So, they know what gives the most pleasure and hardness. Many times, when we stroke it, it is no where as pleasurable as they do it themselves. So, he might prefer to do it himself.

    Try different ways of stroking him and as you do it ask him if he likes it. You can also see his non-verbal clues. Once you can provide the same pleasure as him, he will allow you to do it.

    I feel premature ejaculation is a related but different aspect.
     
    2 people like this.
  6. trivvi

    trivvi New IL'ite

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    Hi..I am new to India Forums...I am married for 2 years and have still not been able to do IC..though as such my husband is caring for me and we enjoy a good relationship..We also both enjoy sex except when it comes to IC..I consulted doctor 2-3 times but all of them say that everything is fine..and you both just need time..but of recently; i am starting to lose interest in sex, though he still favours it. but still we come to the IC part and have to stop there..now the pressure for kids has also started..i am starting to get worried about it..

    I am not sure what to do..Pls advise..
     
  7. akshayau

    akshayau New IL'ite

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    Hi Trivvi,

    what was the problem that is bothering your IC? Are you feeling it painful due to tightness or dryness?. Try to prolong the foreplay until his organ is fully hard and you are fully wet and then start having IC. I had the same problem and this worked out. Or try some lubricants
     
  8. sumaramesh

    sumaramesh New IL'ite

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    HI Lalitha

    Congrats on your marriage....

    If you feel it pain or dry in vagina during intercourse, you can try this....

    * First have enough of fore play so you are actually wet..
    * Inspite of enough of foreplay if u still feel pain/dryness contact a Gynaecologist she may suggest lubricant..

    ** To conceive, all you need is Alternative day intercourse from day 8 to day 20th (if your periods are regular).


    All the best.....
     
  9. trivvi

    trivvi New IL'ite

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    Hi akshayu...i think it is tightness..mostly feel like he is hitting a wall...we tried long foreplay..though i am becoming wet, i think its not enough...visited the doc and she confirmed everything is fine..i donno if it wpuld be considered rude but am telling it openly..she was able to insert 2-3 fingers...she advised a lubricant...will have to try that or coconut oil...i hope it works...pls pray for me...
     
  10. akshayau

    akshayau New IL'ite

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    Hi Trivvi,

    As you said the wetness is not enough which means foreplay is not long enough or is not stimulating enough.. Engage in prolonged oral or 69 which can get you abundant wetness. You can also use the lubricant prescribed if natural lubrication fails.
     

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