Neighbor Lady Not Allowing Her Child To Have Play Date With Mine..

Write your number or make your daughter write and ask her to pass to that kid. Tell your daughter that you are cool with the plan n now it’s her moms turn to confirm.

Coolly ask her, ‘did you pass the number? She hasn’t reached out yet, when she does we can plan. I am just waiting to hear back.’

Move the ball to the others mom court so you are relieved n not become the bad guy in this story. Or your daughter might blame you for not trying as she’s not understanding your explanation.

 

Op...why this drama in front of kid?
Showing anger is normal behavior but ' losing pride' because someone does not respond is not .
You have a slight complex and your daughter will learn it too if you talk like this in front of her.

This is a good opportunity to teach her abou personal space and personal choices.
Let her know that you are fine with a sleepover but the other lady may not be and that is fine and that decision should be respected.
Tell her if you take some decision for your daughter,others should respect it too.

As for the sleepover...many parents are vary of sending young children for sleepovers ....specially girls. 1st grade is quite young.
You do not know her thinking....may be her husband is not cool with the idea of her spending night at others place. You both ladies hardly know each other so well.

Even I would be vary of sending my child for sleepover at such a young age to someones house I do not know well enough.

May be she is not responding to play dates because she feels it will lead to you or her kid asking for a sleepover again.


Encourage your daughter to have more friends in school and neighborhood.

 

I second @yellowmango here.
@anika987 you must understand that your complex issue is now going overboard and it may affect your child down the line without your knowledge. So, better you take some steps now.

What is the problem here?
Your child and the other child loves for a sleep over, and a play date. This is normal.
Your child is pestering you so much, that you have once or twice tried to talk to the other child's mom in vain. Fine
What about the other child? Has she communicated this with her mom? If not, why? If yes, what was her mom's response?
Now it is her turn to take steps and see.
If the other child has enough interest, she must have communicated this with her mom or at least communicated the issues (whatever her mom says so) with her friend (your child).
If that hasn't happened yet, it means the other child is not that interested.

Communicate this with your kid patiently.

It is not your fault. It is not about your pride.
It is all about the other kid's interest, and her parents' willingness.
Your kid has done her part, you have done your part. Wait for the other kid and her parents to respond.
She may respond favorably or unfavorably or chose not to respond.
Patience is important - Teach that to your kid
Acceptance is more important - Teach that as well

Whatever the outcome may be, you or your kid has got nothing to lose. It is nothing about you guys.
So, don't feel bad. Self confidence is far more important. Teach that to your kid.

When things don't happen as we wish, we must accept it, and move on. We should not do postmortem or blame ourselves on every single things.
There are so many other blessings for a child to enjoy other than a play date or sleep over. Teach her to have choices and stay happy.

You have got a huge role as a mother here.
So, stop comparing and worrying always about the other person!!!

 

Asking for sleep over is a big thing. In my house, I don't allow sleep over. I am not comfortable with it. My kid can stay longer for a movie night or something, around 9 pm is fine, but no sleep over. So if some one asks me for a sleep over, I have a tendency to ignore the text or email. However, I am ok with play date, either my home or their home, but i dont leave the child alone with them unless I know the parent really well. So may be the other mom is like that. Find some other friends or activities for your child. Kids make friends very fast.

 

I would just leave them alone. Sounds like they have a problem with you. It is her personal choice and you just have to make sure your kid understands it.

 

With all the discussion, I am confused if this a neighbor question or a parenting question.

This isn’t something you need to get angry about, but it seems that you are personally offended by this mother’s lack of interest in furthering any friendship.

When trying to explain it to your child, you could divert her by saying “let’s go ask —-aunty next time we see her. If she’s ok with, we will schedule a day for you girls to hang out.” You are the parent, you control the narrative. Your “pride” doesn’t really have a place here, and there is no begging or anything involved.

 

Excellent answers @yellowmango and @SGBV

 

Op, Kids can understand very well when we communicate to them in proper way.
If I were in your position, I will say NO to my child. She is too young. I am not comfortable to send my kids to a stranger's ( they are not even your friend) home alone.

I will explain to her. She is too young to sleep over in another home. Also mom and dad don't know about other family and worried about her safely (I am worried about it too much, we don't know the characters of other people from outside appearance, their habits etc..We dont know who else is staying there). So we are not comfortable sending you to another home alone without our presence. Its just safely concern.

We will try to arrange play dates, let us see how it goes. You can play with her as much you like. But you have sleep in our home. No need to ask again. We wont send you for sleep over. That's all.

( May be this is what that lady is also worried about. I cannot blame her. You are not even her friend )