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Need Urgent Help

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by homemaker81, Jun 10, 2011.

  1. homemaker81

    homemaker81 New IL'ite

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    hi,

    I need your advice ILs. My husband has severe lower back pain problems. He has just started to go to a physical therapy clinic near his office. They are offering massage therapy and other physio therapy treatments to get his problem resolved. Today he went to his first therapy. The he said they gave various treatments including massage. He also said it was a lady pretty old who gives the treatment. When i heard it was a lady, my heart broke. I felt very upset. He has to go there for 8 more weeks , 2 sessions a week. I feel like crying because I couldn't tolerate the fact that a woman gives the massage. I feel like crying my heart out. But if i show it, then it may think I am suspect him or we will end up in a fight. I am extremely upset . i need your advice.

    Thanks,

    homemaker
     
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  2. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    hi,
    you need to decide what you want -a healthy husband who gets treated by woman or a sick husband who is touched by none other then his wife.

    you can accompany him one day & see for youself what sort of lady is that.........
    also lots of ladies have male gynae(me included) & would be highly indignant if somebody raises the question of their gender.for them he is a doctor almost like God who helped then bring a baby to this earth.
    suffix is that in some cases gender hardly matters & we look at a person as human & not a male /female.
    pragati
     
  3. homemaker81

    homemaker81 New IL'ite

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    Thanks prahati. yes you are right. Anyway I will try to hold my obsessiveness. If i were alone, i could have visited the therapist place. I have 2 little kids with me. My husband would not want the kids to see him getting treated. If i say him such a thing, he will think i am doing that in suspicion. Thanks anyway.

    ILs, pour in your suggestions to help me come out of the frustration and sadness.

    Regards,

    homemaker
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2011
  4. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    Come on home maker your h is going to a physical therapist not a strip club.
    It should not bother you if it's male or female who is treating him in this case a massage.
    Why are you so insecure?
     
  5. Dhaanika

    Dhaanika Gold IL'ite

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    Are you kidding us or yourself?! Its a medical facility, not one of those "happy massage" places!! In fact, you're disrespecting and giving a bad rep to the profession!

    Get you out of your frustration - here's an idea - stand in front of the mirror and say out loud to yourself as many times as necessary "My husband is going to a medical facility to get his back treated."

    Do this until it sinks in that physical therapy/therapeutic massage is different from the "happy ending" massages. Please don't disrespect the professional who is treating your husband by thinking or worrying like this.
     
  6. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

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    Please don't think this way...doctors, nurses, physiotherapist and other medical professionals they do a good services. They are the ones who helps us, when we're in our weakest. Let's not think about them in a gender oriented way.

    I don't have any problem with my husband seeing a female for any medical issues even if it will involve getting his genitals examined for example. If he was sick, I would just want him to get better nothing else.

    Lower back pain can be really painful, I hope your husband gets better with physiotherapy!

    PS: Has he seen a doctor about it? If not I think it's better to see a doctor as well, at least to rule out problems like disc prolapse.
     
  7. homemaker81

    homemaker81 New IL'ite

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    Thank you very much for your advice and suggestions. Hmm.. being a conservating person, I couldn't take such things. i will change my attitude. thanks girls.

    homemaker
     
  8. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    I think your worry has nothing to do with being conservative.
    You should really do some things which will boost your self esteem.
    If we just give ourself for the welfare of KIDs and H who will take care of us?
     
  9. lotusgirl

    lotusgirl Senior IL'ite

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    Glad you are going to try to change your way of thinking..

    think of this way.. if ever something happens which causes a male gynec to do check up on you, what would be your reaction? forget gynec, what about other male docs who might be the only option in some situation to do check ups on you?`

    unless its a Thai/Chinese massage with "happy ending" you should be thinking of the treatment your husbands back is getting ..
     
  10. amul

    amul Silver IL'ite

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    Dear homemaker

    dont be too possesive....

    some of us do go to male gyneac ...once i had to go to male gyneac just for a chekc up and no other option.I just saw a doctor in him but did feel some male is checking me....

    as pragati suggested u can go along with him and have a visit.thinking tooo much will bring you problems....
    think of his health first...

    take care of urself and ur hubby
    goodluck
     

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