need to hear opinion from as many people as possible

when you become a mother, you can cut the cord. My sincere request, may be you can consider replacing "INDIAN MOTHER" with "Mother In Law".

But only a suggestion and still i respect your personal opinion. Dont know why...but somewhere i felt slight pain when i read this thing....

Good Luck

 

Real families are always something between Bollywood and Ekta Kapoor serials.... They are not that good but also not that bad. (I'm not counting those 'burning bride for dowry' families). I'm sure that my MIL will never harm me physically. But, I also know that see will let me be at peace mentally.

Of course, its all 'only' for some 10-15 yrs. After we have children and they grow up, we will have entirely different issues at hand. MIL will be somewhere very much at the back of our minds then. Kids, their studies, marks, developing habits, teenage tantrums will take most of our times.

 

Well some people change and some don't, that what I think about the this whole thing. And one has to be realistic and not to think of life as some bollywood/hollywood movie.

And MIL is the right word, not Indian mother. MILs are never willing to let go of their attachment to their son. When DS gets married the insecurity increases and creates conflict between MIL and DIL. Some men understand it while some don't. MIL has the fear that she is losing control over her son, her home to the DIL and DIL wants to have her space. This saas-bahu conflict continues for few years till one of them gives up or goes away. So will happen in ur case too, after some years ur MIL will give up or realize there is no scope for power struggle. Till then she will harass u, bug u and irritate u so better take it easy for urself and relax in ur own life.

 

But then, life is neither really Hollywood, Bollywood, all other woods, or even serials, right?

If we wish to have that picturesque life of small beautiful house, cute adorable kids, nothing less than always comfortable life, I think it is asking for more!!

Even fairytales have problems!!

And as Shreya said, life is somewhat a combination of all this. When two people with different upbringing and different mindset marry each other, there are bound to be some amount of initial hiccups. Both have to be supportive to each other during this time and RIGIDITY doesn't work, whether it is from husband or wife or in-laws on either side! You HAVE to accomodate others' wishes too, even if they are against yours. You can not have everything your way!

About cutting the cord, hmmm... a bit of a problem there, isn't it!!!

 

Dear Sister,

Films are just Films, it can just take any twist and turns wherever necessary, you have day dreamt equalising yourself into a character in the film, but reality need not or will not be what you see on the big or small screen.

So try to understand your lifestyle of living mend yourself a bit and mend him a bit and get the life going with no hassles, soon you will be happy and contended.

May Baba guide you and shower blessings and bring in joy and peace in you home, Best wishes...

 

My question to the OP...

You say its a love marriage ... You also say you dreamt of a hollywood style living...

I am wondering... din't you guys ever speak about what you want and feel like about this relationship??? I am sure he would have come across like a tollywood product even during courtship days??

I mean this hollywood to tollywood is a Huge change for me... how did this escape your view and you proceeded with the marriage??

 

Welcome to the world of reality.. How much ever we discuss the MIL, momma's boy,cord/strings, really wonder will there ever be any solution.. Thats the way indian families specially indian MIL - Son (H for the miserable W) works.. All I have seen ppl doing is discuss to detail, vent (few crib,cry) till the energy losts and finally learn to accept and adjust

I hope if any person finds a successful working solution to end this indian drama(MIL - MBH(momma's boy Husband) and publishes will be a mega multi billionaire overnight

No offence to anyone...