Need Suggestions To Control My Anger

generic · May 19, 2016

I'm a perfectly rational person who is usually soft, polite, and reasonable...But of late I have noticed that I sometimes I lose my temper and shout at family members and throw tantrums over trivial and silly issues..

Sometimes if I am stressed and frustrated over something I show my anger by venting out over a different matter which is not even connected.

I feel ashamed when I recall how I have spoilt some nice occasions by arguing over extremely silly issues which could have been handled in a diplomatic manner. Have apologized later on but the damage done cannot be repaired right.
Hurtful words spoken in the heat of the moment cannot be taken back.
These anger and irritability outbursts are upsetting me when I realize my mistake later on.

I need some simple suggestions to keep cool and avoid losing my temper.
If I get irritated with some small matter, how can I make myself cool down and avoid unnecessary fights, and address it in a reasonable way?

JGVR · May 19, 2016

Address your stress and frustration and see how to handle it.If its a problem which is beyond your control,just let it go.

vidhyalakshmid · May 20, 2016

Focus on your breath when you are frustrated. It will help to rearrange your thoughts. Go to different place, may be to another room or just outside.
These will help to some extent.

Amica · May 20, 2016

Hormonal imbalances can cause emotional outbursts. See a doctor to rule those out first.

madras2018 · May 20, 2016

First ask yourself what is the real cause. Your outbursts are an outward manifestation of an inner worry or unease.

Is your marriage OK? How are your primary relationships - i.e kids, parents, in-laws?
There cld be other isses but we all know when we can hear the constant hum of a problem running in our thoughts.

Alternatively it cld just be a hormonal/ menopausal thing. Check that out.

In short, determine the real reason you are losing your cool while at the same time using anger management techniques.

justanothergirl · May 20, 2016

For any/all of the recent outbursts can u calmly sit out and try to document all the events /triggers that led you to it?
Is there a pattern...or is completely random...certain time of day/month(Well u know )
Once you understand the triggers its easy devise strategies to combat.Good luck!

Vaikuntha · May 20, 2016

Anger can be manifestation of unmet needs.
Or if someone is dieting, low on glucose levels, even they can seem to be edgy, all the time

Do you keep thinking about something in your life? If so, start with jotting it down on paper.
Design steps to solve it.

It could be that you are trying to loose weight and glucose levels dips, it make you irritated, keep some nuts on hand, when near a full family- first eat 2 almonds than talk- 2 minutes after

Drink some chamomile tea- it gives you calmmmm seriously

Walks in nature us always great- reduces the blood pressure, calms the mind

Are you getting too hot or too cold or too tired?

Think of yourself as baby and figure it out...

Anusuya · May 20, 2016

Taking a walk helps alot to relieve ur anger.
once we are under anger it's difficult to control our mind.

learn some breathing techniques it also helps a lot.

generic · May 21, 2016

Thanks for your inputs..I realise that the main triggers for my anger are personal problems, inferiority complexes And insecurities which I have had since childhood and teenage days, and a sense of helplessness regarding few issues out of my control.
I m not so outspoken by nature and tend to internalise my conflicts instead of speaking out openly..hence it just comes out..
I'm trying few natural relaxation techniques and will try discussing day to day issues with my hubby and close family members so I can deal with them calmly instead of losing my cool.

madras2018 · May 22, 2016

Relaxation techniques only address the symptoms i.e anger.

But you need to address the real reasons or root causes that you mentioned ( "personal problems, inferiority complexes And insecurities" ) to avoid getting upset in the first place. Infact I'd go as far as to say try to figure out the root cause behind the complexes and insecurities and resolve them, rather than paint them with a broad brush that you've had them since childhood.

Never too late to introspect and help oneself.

generic said: ↑

Thanks for your inputs..I realise that the main triggers for my anger are personal problems, inferiority complexes And insecurities which I have had since childhood and teenage days, and a sense of helplessness regarding few issues out of my control.
I m not so outspoken by nature and tend to internalise my conflicts instead of speaking out openly..hence it just comes out..
I'm trying few natural relaxation techniques and will try discussing day to day issues with my hubby and close family members so I can deal with them calmly instead of losing my cool.
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