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Need Suggestions For Avoiding Relatives During Pandemic

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Needtobestrong, Aug 15, 2021.

  1. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Since beginning of this pandemic , we haven’t entertained any friends or relatives in our home..during first and second wave there was lot of fear and vaccines weren’t available..
    But now there is some over confidence on part of H and in Laws after being vaccinated.
    Thankfully most of my relatives are sensible people and prefered to stay in isolation, even did family functions among immediate family members to avoid gathering and risk of Covid..as all our relatives in our city have either small kid since or babies or are themselves elderly or have very aged people at home and don’t want to take risk of getting Covid which is a good thing. Even festivals were low key..
    But, there are 2 relatives in my city
    1. Mr and Mrs A, who are somewhat close relatives , who are both working..they’re pretty bored of being in isolation. Quite social. They entertain guests at home every weekend. Still meet friends..I.e close friends within social bubble..they say they’re careful as they have aged parents. But can’t be sure as they travel now and then, they have multiple domestic helpers like cooks, maids, drivers etc as they both are working. Helpers may not always be masked in their residence if working longer time,..They step out often for errands and do have contact with people to some extent,..they’re friendly with my in-laws and quite often expressed a wish to get together with us..( overs phone calls) when comfortable...by chance, last year all major festivals co incided with first and second wave..but now not sure as vaccine is there for all adults.
    They have hinted they’re quite free and can drop in whenever we are comfortable..

    2. Mr and Mrs B..they are aged people..were staying in different cities with grown up children during pandemic , now vaccinated and back in our city..prior to pandemic, we used to visit them and they used to visit now and then..

    Pls note, I’m not being an anti social person, but I have reasons.
    1. Obviously, Covid safety..when relatives come inside home they will remove mask and stay for longer time..no social distance..so if they’re carriers, even if vaccinated we’ll be at risk.
    2. Previously due to interference of some relatives I faced issues in my marriage..I’ve started having suspicion of all relatives now and dont feel like mixing with them now..major rough patch in relationship, I don’t feel like socialising with them when things aren’t going right.
    Previously and some months back too even casual talks with some relatives lead to in laws having some misunderstandings and fighting with me.
    3. Facing issues in domestic helpers in my area..they join and then leave for their native due to some issue or the other....how much ever we pay they’ll do half work and I’m having more workload, I don’t feel like entertaining guests. Not interested in cooking and cleaning extra utensils and being unappreciated.

    My in laws are very social people, anyway I can make them see risks of entertaining relatives during pandemic and avoid get togethers with them?
    And what is the etiquette when close relatives invite to their home or want to drop in and visit us and we want to wait for some months till things are better?
     
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  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    I would suggest you reply them in kamarajar pani -ஆகட்டும் பார்க்கலாம்- ok shall revert.
    For still better one probably I would say emphatically, “all meetings only when pandemic ends”

    Or with a mild jitter say - get together or just meetings at hovel only if one choose to infect & die.

    But PM Namo said inter alia in his Redford speech yesterday that COVID will not Go away for many more months to come.
     
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  3. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    The main issue is with my in laws...even during pandemic they want to meet and socialize with people..just because they got 2 doses of vaccine they think they're hundred percent protected against Covid..while at their native place much earlier, when their relative got married they travelled and happily attended.. they used to attend family functions and meet relatives very very often in their native .even during pandemic....but when they're here with us I prefer all of us to be cautious as situation is not good in my city.
     
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  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear OP
    As per message in channels India to-day based on yesterday's pandemic statistics, the figures are showing rapid decrease in affected as well as deaths. I see from my balcony, buses in my routes are reasonably packed between parry's central to Avadi pattabhiram in nagar and between adayar to Avadi Ambattur. More population of Chennai and TN stands vaccinated against covid19.
    You can be less rigid following standard protocols and enjoy get together exchange visits that includes seniors. Even hypochondriacs are enjoying jolly good time especially women in Chennai as bus journeys are free for them now stalin's rule. Common more cheers.
     
  5. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    If OP has children who are not vaccinated she still has to be careful.
     
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  6. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Sir I can't afford to be so easy going...many people in my known and extended family circle have been infected and suffered a lot...one of my relatives family , though fully vaccinated with both doses for infected and all of them tested positive and suffered. Elders went to hospital for some days.
     
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  7. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Definitely.
    Even for adults no guarantee , even after getting vaccinated especially with new variants going around.
    This festival season also needs to be a private and low key one like last year.
    I do not want to invite relatives this time, for festivals or even otherwise.
    If other ILites too faced such situation where they received invites from relatives, or elders wanted to invite relatives home pls let me know how you dealt with it...u refused frankly or managed diplomatically?
     
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  8. kj2008

    kj2008 Senior IL'ite

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    We too faced this issue. After a family gathering my BIL was down with covid. Then his wife was also tested positive as she was the one taking care. We four and my inlaws were found negative. But it was really tough situation. With this situation in mind we indirectly have been avoiding and in subtle way tell them or even if we used to meet earlier before the illness we used to quickly go back after lunch/dinner meet.
     
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  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    The gathering you had mentioned - was it of recent one or several months before when lockdown was relaxed a bit by stalin Government .
     
  10. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes indeed there is a lot of risk in attending gatherings.
    Good you and in laws were tested negative , hope your BIL and his wife recovered and are ok now.
    Some of the families known to me who got Covid recovered with simple home quarantine as they had very mild symptoms...but in some cases few relatives and few known neighbours needed hospitalisation..some friends of mine of younger generation i could see are very cautious, they don’t even allow maids inside the home or meet friends or relatIves or step outside for anything. But these elders can be such a pain sometimes, they don’t say no to guests and gatherings.
     

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