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Need Advice On Having Baby?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by zeppelingirl, Oct 7, 2017.

  1. zeppelingirl

    zeppelingirl Silver IL'ite

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    I recently got married. Me and hubby does not have any understanding and we fight 3 days in a week and go on silent war. Now his parents and sister compelling us to have baby, but I'm afraid to have baby now since we both have got no understanding and my husband threatens me with a divorce whenever we get a fight which mostly starts bcos of in-laws.

    I know My parents also expecting a baby but they don't compel me.

    If I refuse to have baby now, my husband may not understand and threaten me with a divorce again. How should I make him understand that I'm insecure.
     
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  2. Kukudukuu

    Kukudukuu Silver IL'ite

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    DON'T think about baby till you settle down with your husband..
     
  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    You are the one who will have the baby so you should be ready.
    Your husband seems to be very immature.
    If inlaws ask for a child,tell them you will think about it when their son stop thinking about divorce over every little thing.


    What an immature person!!!!!

    Op...if he keeps talking about divorce,don't even think about a child .
    If he asks for a child...ask him ,what kind of an irresponsible woman has a child with a man who keeps threatening divorce .
     
    zeppelingirl, AAPriya and sindmani like this.
  4. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, With or without baby, your Dh is threatening you with divorce. You are better off without baby in that case.

    If you have a baby now, he won't help with anything & the fights & divorce threats (in law related) will still be there and worse still baby will be stuck in the middle of all this.
     
    zeppelingirl and sindmani like this.
  5. happydheivanai

    happydheivanai Silver IL'ite

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    I think u have prob with in laws because of the dressing makeup like tha only know..
    Some family allow Mordern dress And some won’t allow. Initially in laws don’t know to handle dil and v don’t understand them after year or two it will be ok.

    I feel if 7 have baby everything will come to normal.u can go to mothers plans and mother will come here to c the baby....because of baby ur and ur husband understanding will increase.after baby comes concentration will b on baby And they will leave u...later u can move separately tell8ng the reason for school ect.


    If u postpone the baby it may turn into some health issue and al this prob will end in divorce...


    I think u can have baby soon.
     
    zeppelingirl likes this.
  6. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    OP, it is not good to bring a baby when you have lot of issues and uncertainties in your life.
    It can turn good or bad. It is possible that they start controlling everything from what you should eat to how to take care of baby.. don't expect anything from your dh

    Or their attention may change and your life may be back to normal. But who know what is going happen

    Instead of saying a no to husband, tell him that you also like to have a baby. But you are scared to bring a baby in this an unhappy life where husband threaten you all the time with divorce. You need lot of confidence in him as it is not an easy job . You need a little more time to make sure that he will be there for you and baby though out this life.. if he wants baby he has to treat you well and stop uttering the word divorce. Unless he do that you cannot bring one. You want the baby to enjoy a happy home .. a happy and peaceful pregnancy period is important. Talk very clearly and calmly with lot of love to convey your concern.
    ( I really don't know how one can Tcc when you guys fight three times a week.read the Il forum on tcc:))
    See how it goes.. is there any efforts from his part. if you think you will be happy, only then go for the baby. I think both of you need to face it with positive attitude and maturity. Both of you should be emotionally ready to take up new challenges and responsibilities
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2017
    zeppelingirl likes this.
  7. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    Op,
    In the previous thread, we saw that all the strings attached to you are controlled by inlaws...now this baby is the string where you have a strong control. No one can force you to bear a child. U r not even married for an year. Take a strong stand now if you feel that you are not ready. Dont get into myth that relation with ur H will improve cuz of kid. Think think think.. be bold. Dont fall into trap.
     
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  8. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    a fully-watched and controlled young woman has control over getting impregnated ?
    Indian Government says a man can't rape his wife
    India's government has rejected calls to outlaw marital rape after saying it could "destabilise the institution of marriage" and put husbands at risk of "harrassment".
    A plea from campaigners and victims is currently being heard by the Dehli High Court. Judge's asked for the government's stance on the issue.
     
    zeppelingirl likes this.
  9. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Unless ur husband understands you and ur problems are solved please don't think about child . Make a goal , reach it that ur husband should understand u and not threaten u with divorce. Talk to him, take him to counselling.then get ur child.
     
    zeppelingirl and Sunburst like this.
  10. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Happy mother = Happy child
    A happy mother has the freedom to wear jeans, multicolored sandals, listen to Led Zeppelin ( Kashmir :thumbup:) along with a husband that does not threaten her with divorce at the drop of a hat.
     
    pinkgal, zeppelingirl and Sunburst like this.

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