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Need Advice On Divorce Case

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Tubinbataye, Aug 31, 2020.

  1. Tubinbataye

    Tubinbataye New IL'ite

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    Hello all,
    3.5 years ago the husband initiated a divorce case. We have had two hearings and then there was no further hearings happened. Me and my kid 11 year old living Separately for 2 years now. Not sure what’s the case status whenever I ask him he says he don’t know and I couldn’t find any info on the case online. I foresee an opportunity to move abroad on a long term deputation. Tell me the legal implications that I’ll have to sort before moving abroad with my kid. With h’s behaviour it’s clear that he don’t want to give divorce as he is over 42 years and he don’t want to withdrew the case,could be because of ego war, I moved out for my kid sake. This marriage has gone already beyond repair. I don’t have a lawyer myself, looking for some guidance/empirical suggestions on how to handle this situation to move on with my kid.
     
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  2. mohini16

    mohini16 Silver IL'ite

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    What do you mean by you don't know case status? You hae lawyer? You should ask your lawyer not your husband, he will try o kill time..
    And you can not move abroad until you have full custody of kids.. Even for visit they need fathers consent.
     
  3. Tubinbataye

    Tubinbataye New IL'ite

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    No, I don’t have a lawyer. We just had two hearing and the hearing was just for a min and then time goes into mediation only. That too these happened almost 3.5 years back. After that in 6-7 months me and my kid moved out since then there is no contact between him and my kid. Sometime he meet my kid in some common friend occasion or area gathering. The divorce case which he initiated he didn’t ask for kid in that. i don’t know about the case means, since then there is no news of further hearing informed to me. There are no updates in the online court services. For this case # it says no records found.
    And I have visited two countries(~ 5 days each) with my kid in these two years.
     
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Is your spouse agreeing to your taking your child abroad? You should get proper legal advice so you don’t get accused to trying to take the child away.
     
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  5. Tubinbataye

    Tubinbataye New IL'ite

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    He basically don’t participate in any child support or child raising process. And this whole marriage stuff has become a quicksand for years now. His ultimate goal is just to drag and put blame on others and he could have that fatherly feeling but never shown on kid in any occasion. With all this I wanted to take a mutual divorce which I fee will be good for both of us. He verbally abuses if I start any conversation about Going mutual. I just want some peace and life to look back when I’m old with my kid living the life. Just trying to understand me away from maternal home, baring all kids support myself and no proceeding’s with cases favour me to find a way out of this mess?
     
  6. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    He might have filed divorce to threaten u scare u first and withdrew later. He just want to fight and bring u down to your knees. He will not agree for mutual. Tell him if he doesn’t agree for mutual consent u will file domestic violence. After 3 years of separation you are eligible for divorce on basis of negligence to wife and kid. Talk to good professional who will take quick action not just money from you.
     
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  7. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    i noticed that you are a skilled professional. but also quite innocent and little laid back - not in a bad way but i guess your trusting him still.

    sorry the moment seperation is filed , it is equally your responsibility. hire a good lawyer, document all the situations of him not taking of child in any way and get full custody. play nice on any abuse and file for Domestic violence based on which part of world you live in.

    stop worrying about what he did or does for your child. get the paper work done and get the child support if you can .
     
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  8. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Platinum IL'ite

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    Get a lawyer asap, there might be some probono ( not taking fees).
     
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  9. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    Op

    u should not tell husband u have plans to go abroad. Try to get full custody with child support. If he doesn’t want to give child support then negotiate for full custody any how or threaten him you will file domestic violence case or 498a. He is trying to drag for years to torture u. Play safe and smart. Don’t be innocent, talk to good lawyer
     
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  10. CuteCancer

    CuteCancer Silver IL'ite

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    He might not want a divorce because then he has to pay child support.

    He has not been contributing anything towards child care and you have been living separately. If he does not agree for mutual, you can still go ahead and file for divorce due to neglect.

    Please consult a good lawyer to discuss your options for your location
     
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