My Wife Doesn't Want To Live With My Family Anymore. I'm So Depressed.

@rthor05 Just one more thing I missed in my last post. As long as your parents are able to do their work, let them do. For e.g., if you decide to live separately and your mom says she doesn't need a cook and she is fine doing the cooking herself. Don't force her to get a cook thinking she is old and feeling sorry for them. As long as they are able to do their work on their own, let them do. Its infact good for their health too. As for other household help, she may be already having a maid or you can hire one if she needs. Also, during weekends you can take some time out and go check if they need any help around the house or if they need any medicines etc.

 

U both are very young......these things are fairly common..give it some time...dont push her to stay with ur parents. It will hurt more than it will help ur marriage.
Rent an apt near by..It will actually help her and u understand what it takes to run a household.
Reminded me of my cousin who had a huge issue staying with her PIL and moved out..1 yr later after she saw the amount of work required to run a house while paying an exorbitant amount as rent and day care she moved back without a word.

 

That's the positive side of your wife. Try to see that. All that she wants is just stay a little away which is quite understandable.

You are not going that far that you can never see your parents again. Why are you feeling so sad about this? Nowadays even if you are on the other side of the globe its just less than 24hrs to meet your parents. Then why feel so unhappy about staying nearby? If your mom is upset then assure her you are just a phone call away if she needs any help. And also that you guys will visit them frequently too.

Best wishes!

 

your wife also needs to come to middle ground,it won't work if she don't want to see your parents faces.That's not the right thing to.You are thinking about her and doing what she is best for her and at the same time she needs empathetic for your emotional needs and for your interests.She can't simply say,she can't see your parents faces.Keep this as part of your negotiations.,

 

How does your wife's mother live without her ? Your wife got married and left her home. Very likely her parents felt every bit as emotional & cried as much as yours, on the day they sent her off. Do you think that it is social conditioning & culture that makes ppl think it is less heart breaking for a woman to leave her family ?

If your wife says, like you, that she feels too emotional to leave her family, you will have no marriage.

When your wife can do it, so can you. But before that consider a 6 month trial period with the idea i suggested previously (paid help, rules of engagement etc.)

 

Your wife is at fault.

she did agree before marriage but changed after
she is getting help in house hold chores, still behaves as if doing a favor staying with inlaws.

Even if you live separate, she might keep more and more conditions in future.

You yourself keep the following condition to your wife, before agreeing for her demand of staying separate.
1. She has to find the right house and all arrangements required for staying separate.
2. Tell her how many days a week, for how much time you will be spending time with your parents.
2. How much money you planning to give your parents.
3. How much house hold work you can help wife with, as your mom in separate house.

 

Did this thought of how your mom will live without you suddenly popped up? Before your marriage, were you with her 24x7? Before your marriage, did you help your mom in all the household chores?

You are thinking of ending your life. How will your mom live without you then?

It's your choice to live with your parents and also live with your wife. So you need to take responsibility here and help out with the household chores or hire a cook/maid what ever it takes to maintain your choice.

 

If u have decided on a course of action please request the moderator to close the thread. U are in a fragile state and I can see where the thread is headed...not sure u are in a position to handle.