My toddler crying to go to school

Dear Gayathri,

I have put my daughter in the play school when she was 2.4, she cried on most of the days for going to school. When she cried for the first few days, I have first examined whether she was crying to be with me or she was having any problems in the school. When I reassured that the teachers and other staff are very gentle and friendly, I have started neglecting this tantrum of her's and given a deaf ear to her cry. However, I used to check with her teachers about her behaviour in the school from time to time. I was told that she would stop crying the moment I leave the school premises and start playing with the other kids. She used to mix up with the kids there, learn things, even perform on a stage but If she sees me in any corner, she would stop the activity, cry and come to me.

When we went for an interview for LKG last year, I was very scared, but she answered the questions of the Nursery Incharge very boldy, to my surprise. She got admission and done very well in LKG and have been promoted to UKG this year.

Her teachers say that she is very independent and sociable child and mixes up with children very fast. She does not need her mom all the time now.

So, what I am trying to say is that don't get disheartened. Continue sending her to the school. Don't ever frighten her by taking schools name (eg, if you don't stop doing this, i will send you to school etc.). Play School School with her, ask her to be the teacher and you act like a kid. For few days, give her new new things for her to encourage to go the school, like a bag, a pencil box, a water bottle, a crayon set, a tiffin box, a new dress, or shoes whichever brightens up her face. Ask her to show it to the teachers and her friends in the class.

Tanmayi

 

hi,
i agree with tanmayi's suggestions(nice name-tanmayi)
talk to her about school,what her friends brought in tiffin or the colour of dresses her friends or teacher wore.
make stories on going to school theme & show her the neighbouring kids going to school..........she will soon love her school & will ask to be sent on weekends too
all the best
pragati

 

Gayathri,

every kid takes its own time to come over separation anxiety. normally day cares (esp abroad) have a buffer period wherein the parent stays with the child in the premises until the child gets settled. for my son it took about a week (he's now 5). but i've seen some children who cried even until 3 months at drop-off.

how long has she been there? if she's going everyday try starting like few days a week (if the play school permits) or lesser hours. it's basically healthy and essential for a child of her age to be with children of her age group especially where there are no other chances to mingle otherwise. so don't stop.

and also know that not only the child moms too go through separation anxiety ask the school if she's fine after she starts playing or sits alone.

Latha

 

Hi All,

My DS, who is 2.7 yrs old is scared to go to playschool as he has just started going for past 2 weeks. Even if I accompany him inside, he says lets get back home and keeps on crying. But if i leave him inside and come out, he cries for 15 - 20 min and settles down. Then again the same happens the next day. He never wants to get out of the bed in the morning and doesnt want to have bath and keeps on crying the whole morning until we reach the school. He's free after the school gets over. Every morning is a great struggle! I could see his attitude has changed for past 2 weeks. I could feel that he is so scared. Cries out for simple matters. I talk to him a lot saying once u start going to school u will grow big and soon u can drive cars (as he is so mad of cars) he says ok the previous evening and again he scared to get out of the bed next morning. Even on weekends, only if i say "you dont need to go to school today, hes cheerful". Please help me with ur suggestions.
Praying that this phase will pass!??:crazy

 

My son cried for 10 days, after that he used to ask fro going to daycare even if its a weekend.

As it is with all of us, it takes a while for them to get settled in with the other kids. They find their comfort zone.

So keep telling her how nice it would be go to day care and play with her friends etc.. They will get over it soon

 

Yes, It always takes time for one to adjust to change and if its a toddler then it's even more though. A friend of mine did the following and was saved from a lot of hassles....

A friend of mine had planned to put his kid in Pre KG. In that school all classes for existing students started from 1st of June and for pre KG it was from 10th or so. My friend got his kid a school uniform, school bag, water bottle, tiffin box and all that stuff 20 days before the school started. Then everyday she made the kid getup early and bathed and dressed him in uniform as per school time and gave him breakfast earlier than other days. She also kept speaking to him about school and how the school will make him an intelligent and a knowledgeble person. Then when school started for other kids on 1st June she used to take him to school when all students were arriving to school in the morning and told him that he is not allowed to enjoy it now...He will be allowed only after 10 days. This way the kid started yearning to join other schools. He started feeling bad to be all dressed up and coming back home when other kids were goping inside school.
You won't believe that on 10th of June this kid ran inside the school as if it were his life. My friend suggested the same to me. I have a 1.5yr kid and I am planning to do the same.

 

Wow, that sounded like a brilliant idea...:thumbsup

 

Hi Priyaji,
Its an excellent idea...thanks for sharing...

 

Thanks a lot for all of your replies. Yeah i can see the change in my DS. Hes no more crying at school now. But he is still crying to get up. I guess this too will change as the days passes by.