My son has become stubborn...

Muskaany's , I agree every bit of what Shanthi said.And kids will not forget all these things.Even we do not forget few bitter things in life isn't it?It is not right on our part too.

When a kid is agressive and if we try to shout or hit , he/she will become more aggressive.What if he piches you?You can slowly change that right?It might not happen overnight but you can make him understand that it is not a good habit.He will slowly understand this and he will get away with that habit not bcoz you will beat but since he thinks that it is a bad habit.That is wonderful isn't it?

This is just the beginning.There is a looooong way to go.Kids will learn all "good" habits from school and you get annoyed atleast once in a month and the graph goes high as they grow up.Develop patience as he will become the way you bring him up now.

Good luck!

 

Muskaan - yes, you clearly are here trying to get help. I would suggest reading Natural Child Project, You do not need to answer this here in this forum, but do ask yourself these questions:
1. Did I cope well when I saw a behaviour that is undesirable...
2. Did I reiterate the behaviour that is expected often enough. Is it realistic for me to expect my 3 year old to understand my instructions on first or the second repetition. Did I give him enough time to internalise what I am saying about not hitting.
3. Why did I respond the way I responded.
Dont answer them here, none of us need to know the answers. Asking these questions repeatedly to myself stops me from hitting my child or being verbally abusive. I come from a home where violence was common too, it takes a lot from me not to perpetuate that violence on to my child/ren.
I am not trying to take a superior tone here, I know it is tough work but it is possible. You need to realise you as the adult has to be the one that takes charge and copes well. Your son is going to learn that coping skill from you.
It is actually great that you have a non-judgmental partner. Take his help, formulate strategies to help yourself and help your child. Guilt is a good thing, it should help you move toward self-realisation and take those corrective steps to becoming a better parent. Good luck.

 

When time permits, check this thread & the article quoted in the first post:
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/miscellaneous-in-parenting/91868-do-you-spank-kids-then-4.html