My Past Vs The Present...

Anika, you should let her fight her own fights instead of telling her what to do. Did the other kids bully her? If it was something she did that offended other kids and she want to make it right, I think you should let her.
You already told your side to her and even if she is a small kid, she needs to learn some things on her own. But assure her, you are there for her if she wants to talk and need support or even just to sit with her. Let her choose to do what she wants to do with her friends, but keep an eye out when she needs help, so she will know to fall back on you if needed, tell her, "holler if you need me, I will come and help" or "come back to me if you friends are bothering you". Let her make the judgments on her friendships, sometimes they get it right some times they don't, that's how they will learn. I think that will make her stronger. When you think her judgement was not a good one, ask her what she thinks about it. If you yell, some kids tend to clam up and won't communicate or connect, that how DD is. You know your kid better. But this is my approach with DD. one other thing to look out is that she is playing with her age group, they understand each other better, otherwise you have more work of explaining why other kids are like the way they behave. be there for her and support her instead for telling her what to do when playing, whether we like it or not, kids love freedom.

 

How old is your kid? If she understand enough, ask her if she thinks her friends respected her apology?may if you talk with her a little more elaborate and calm, she will understand what you are trying to say. Tell her you think her friends do not respect her. She wants to try let her try. But tell her not to do it too many times set a limit, say this once and stop it. Sometimes kids have to do it for the their peace, just like us.

 

@anika987 Sit down and explain to her, why you are stopping her. It's our responsibility to teach them self respect and you are on the right path. In this lockdown, she must be bored, try to get another friend to come on zoom to talk to her.
Let this situation go for right now, engage her in different things that she doesn't want to go out to be with friends.
But keep saying that saying sorry once is all that's needed. No need to repeat it over and over again. Nip it in the bud. Let her not continue this behavior. Your husband is partly right, our children are part of us, they carry a similar mindset. We can recognize these characteristics better and correct them.


My kid is a kiss ass to his best friend. If his bestie says no, my kid loses it. When there is no "NO" from bestie they are like best friends- look out for each other, support each other, talk for hours and just stand next to each other being lost in thoughts.

My husband had to constantly talk to my kid every day that my kid will not cry if his bestie says no.
We had to literally say it every day before he went to school. We taught him pretty early to walk away if his bestie says "no". For some reason, my kid is hung up on JUST his bestie. With everyone else, he doesn't expect too much. My kid can walk away, can understand no or doesn't expect too much.

At least in my kid's case, my kid can go on and on repeating the same thing until he gets it. It can get really annoying very soon.
My kid also had the habit of saying sorry and expecting sorry as well. If the sorry didn't come. He would literally plead for sorry from his bestie.

Thankfully his bestie is also my family friend and we kind of parent both the kids on a situation.

 

I think Hubby is right, over-parenting on these things is not required. Let the child figure out some things by herself. Which she will. Parenting is ok, but sometimes can cross into over-parenting.

 

Yes, she shouldn't. What actually went down? was sorry even necessary?

I have also noticed kids these days are very smart, they get away by even not saying sorry.

Sometimes the word sorry can just be looked down by her friends as she is meek.

Just engage her today don't let her fall back into the pattern of going and saying sorry.
Give her a cool off period. Talk to her about what to do if a similar situation arises. Ask her to go and play maybe tomorrow but ask her NOT TO SAY SORRY.
SORRY will not get her in, they will start to bully her. if she presents herself as meek.