My parents goofed up.... inputs

:rotfl I feel your pain arch .... Your post was so paavam .... Sorry for laughing out loud. :hide: :bonk

 

After so much talk about food, I am getting very hungry....

.........op, don't blow this out of proportion and suffer later...

 

Don't know why, but felt like posting this:

My PILs' food preferences/habits are the exact opposite of that at my FOO. And DH and I have the exact opposite preferences with regard to everything-vegetables, "tiffin" items, curries etc. etc.
And food that my ILs cook is way too spicy for my taste and I almost always end up having a heartburn after eating.:spin
BTW they are very good cooks and cook a lot of variety-many of my relatives have appreciated their cooking.

In the initial years of marriage and even now sometimes, my MIL never misses an opportunity to taunt me and my parents for our "bland tastebuds." Her rationale is that I have to "adjust" and start eating food that sets my tongue on fire. Once I when I was newly married and hung up on the "MIL=mom" myth, I asked her to make my favourite sweet (which she makes well) and she frowned and said "Learn to make it yourself."
I ended up with diarrhea once after eating at their place and was badly in need of medicine. I asked her where the particular medicine is and she (very pissed about the fact that HER precious cooking had not agreed with me) said "It is somewhere in the shelf. You can read English. Just look for it yourself."

My MIL never cooks any item that she knows I like but always makes her son's favourite dishes.
FTR, I (not my H) have broken my back cooking for ILs when they visited us and also bought them a lot of stuff.
Does this mean that they have to reciprocate by cooking DIL's favourite dishes?
Maybe.
Maybe not.

 

Rihana raised a valid point earlier in this thread, about Italians also being obsessive about food, and using it to show love. I have known Jewish people who had the same tendencies (incidentally, these are also groups associated with mama's boys - coincidence?). My concern here is our propensity for using food to show disapproval or hatred. We need to strip food of this particular hold it has on us.

 

Indeed. If your DH being served a simple meal causes you embarrassment, work as a team with your parents, ask them beforehand what they are going to serve him. Suggest things that they could cook or order from outside. Follow up the day your DH is arriving.
My mother is not a good cook. If I and DH both are visiting, she asks my father to take us out for sightseeing, shopping etc. so, that she can cook. And even if, we come back at 10 at night, the food wouldn't be ready. What ever little she had managed would be half burnt. After being out all day, I have to be in the kitchen and make sure the food is on table as soon as possible.
If my DH visits without me, I never ask him what he ate.
P.S.- Just curious. If your parents ordered food from outside, would you be alright or do you prefer it to be home cooked?

 

We do give way too much importance to food. People actually attend weddings for the food! I mean its not like we are starving or something. We judge people by the food they serve forgetting that their taste could be different from our own.

My mil also created such a ruckus about me not knowing how to cook. She used to cook less food...enough for them and their daughter. Finally once when we came back from work we saw lunch was over...made some burgers at home and managed. It was a fresh meal prepared only for three people. She said so many times that I cook food for you!!! Now she has no problems babysitting a cousins daughter the entire day but putting one extra potato for me in the curry was too much for her! It does pinch.

 

i feel you guys are going a little off track.

surely food should not be seen as entertainment, and we should not use it as a weapon. although in all cultures food is associated with all occasions sad or happy.

but here its not about food, op is unhappy with the hospitality of her folks towards her dh, it was the food aspect she was unhappy with, it could have been another aspect too, so do not make it a food issue.

she felt they were cold towards him.

 

google... high time you open up an account for your family servant .. transfer some money... to get the RIGHT meal at the RIGHT time for the RIGHT person with proper RIGHTS.
Or maybe 6 mnths before his visit... keep telling ur mom.. how much he does X, Y for you... how much you adore him... ur mom's timings and hosting will get perfect.

 

ok. now, they did. so what. forgive and forget. they are ur parents afterall. dont blow it out of proportion unnecessarily. next time tell ur hubby to just visit them and not stay for meals if he doesnt like to have it there. make up some lame excuse. ur parents may get the message that ur hubby doesnt really appreciate their hosting/meals.

 

I agree there are reasons for you to get annoyed with your parents as they didn't act like a perfect host, after all its one meal and they could have cooked to their SIL's satisfaction which in turn will make you happy.

But OP I also feel there is no need for your DH to take it to heart and complain about this to his parents or you, if he just let it go there would be no room for all these tensions. Think certain issues are better if we let it go and end the matter.