My husband is an sex addict.(is this normal.?)

So Shimla people have more sex than Madrasis?
Alaskans must be having great time then - no wonder Sarah Palin decided to be a neighbor to Russia:rotfl

 

As a 2 man wife,may i suggest that he is seeking RELIEF.If you are too exhausted give him oral sex and once he has emptied he will leave you alone.Try it and see if it works for you.[works for me especially during pregnancy]

 

I've been reading responses here and I felt need to add.

I have a question. With this sex nightly and in the morning do you just lie there and let him get it over with or you are an active participant?
If you just lying there and he satisfys himself without a care in the world about you and your feelings then I think he has a serious problem.

I disagree with all those who are making excuses for men and saying they have no control over their urges etc. This is not true. They do have control, as in a case where foreplay starts and if you say no to the sex at tht point in time they can stop. Although they may not like stopping they can and do stop. If not its rape. So don't make excuses for any man.

There is pleasurable sex and there is routine sex. Seems to me ths has become routine sex and the man doesn't care abt the wife, as long as he's getting it.

You got to put a stop to this use and abuse of your body. Just because he is your husband doesn't mean you have to put up with such actions. You don't owe him sex. Besides physically, this is having mental effects to.

Am just an outsider looking on here and think sex should be pleasurable to both involved and not be a routine.

 

Hello Tense & others who posted here,

I guess, this being a marriage of less than a year, this is normal especially pre-marriage has had lot of touch restrictions. It's an Act that brings pleasure & it should be for both. So long both gets that, I guess where is the need to complain? One can't eat the cake as well as criticize it hows its made.

Coming to addiction, routines, schedule etc.. well usually when workouts done, you;ll have a extra blood flow that will create the urge so the need etc.. morning evening everyday probably happens.. but its highly unlikely it happens like a clock....here in this case it happenns because the guy loves HER so much, he needs it.. that needed be understood & get cooperative.. the fact that she dislikes it or frown upon it... tells the story sooner or later this marriage is going to be in trouble.. one needs to communicate & have a fair understanding of each other expectation..

On too much or too less, I have seen lot of friends cases it happened otherwise.. MENS will try asking, beg or do anything to get what they need or urge etc.. if the going gets rough or frowned upon too soon without a valid reason, I have seen MENS will go OTHER WAY... what if he seeks pleasure some where? or I have seen friends hubby gets in to INTERNET SEX addiction.. where they will never want to come back to wifes.. or completely lose interest in wife or marriage... All of this is more trouble.. so ladies.. please be patient & go with the flow else your rocking too much the boat...

 

Some of you seem to be so submissive. :drowning

 

Gemini, I concur with you. If one or both spouses is not fully agreeing for sex and the other spouse insists and gets his/her way regularly, at some point it will become a routine. I have very little doubt that they may not be enjoying it and rather just getting forced into the act.

 

Most women could benefit from reading "Mars and Venus in the Bedroom" by Dr. John Gray, but Tensed especially. And after you read it and understand your man more, he will benefit, too.

 

I do not find this behaviour abnormal.
I am married for the last 14 months and we do it almost everyday execpt when i have periods.We do it more on weekends or when we come back from office trips lasting 2-3 days or more.Dont you think this is a blessing in disguise.?

 

In place of convincing her..he should try to make it more pleasurable for her.Its not about the performance if he fails to make it pleasurable still he is a failure in bed.
If he had cared enough then he would have discussed with her himself that how can i perform better ..how can we make it better.Did you enjoy it?
Also,i don't think its blessing in disguise.Its very very frustrating and painful for anyone to engage in sexual activity when one is not enjoying it or have any hard feelings in mind.
We also have lot of sex but it doesn't mean that we become selfish.We try to take care of each others feeling and make sure that other is also enjoying it.After years of marriage we still ask each other how was it for the other and discuss about it sometimes if we have any problem.There is lot of stuff available on internet and lots of educational books about positions and sex in libraries and book stores.Its just that you have to care enough whether it is good for other or not.

We all have certain sex preferences which is normal but those may or may not suit our partner and if we become selfish and not discuss it and do it according to our preferences only this is very obvious that it will become a burden for the other.The only way is trying and discussing and come to a common point which is enjoyable to both.And this thing only happens after a few trials and having some patience.If you are married then it doesn't mean that you have to attack the other spouse and the other spouse has to let it happen because he/she is married.


We are not animals we are human beings.So we have to behave like one.

Animals are the ones who don't have brains so they can not control their urges even after seeing that wife is not participating much and not enjoying much.

Tensed...tell him Strict NO.Tell him frankly what you think about it.Sex is not only for him you also have to enjoy it and for enjoying it you also have to participate in discussions,foreplay,liking and dislikings etc.

Also people likes to have it at different frequencies.i have observed its painful also if we do it everyday especially for the women.Personally it hurts at my private parts and i develop rashes if i do it for 3 days continuously.Once i develop rashes i need at least 5 day to let them heal and enjoy it again otherwise i can not enjoy it.Its more enjoyable if we give it some time.11 month is not that of a short period its almost 1 year.In almost 1 year he failed to understand the sexual preferences of his wife.I can understand what she is going through and why is she feeling this way.

I read somewhere its bad for the health of men also to have sex everyday and twice a day is too much unhealthy.Because seimen is made of blood.Just research on it.
When we were newly married i also made it less because i read the article somewhere and showed it to him also.

 

Well, probably all the women who answered to this thread, chose to be silent about anal sex. Myself being a man........also a Medical Practionner, can understand your situation, well.

Anal sex is always injurious. It can do permanent damage to the anal sphincter ( a tight smooth muscle which makes us control the faeces ). Plus, the anus is not designed for sex. It does not have lubrication. Due to friction, the inside mucosa (the smooth red linining inside) can get damaged. Your man has been misguided by what he sees in ****. In ****, women actresses undergo enema before anal sex. They undergo what is known as 'anal dilation' ( a procedure , done under anaesthesia, by a dilator).............before undergoing anal sex before camera. Yet, these female **** actresses develop damage to their anuses after the act.

The wrong picture, your husband has got by watching **** has to be addressed first, in a non offending way. You can show this reply to him. Men often want a change in sex. Hence, they think, the extra tightness given by anus in sex is an exciting change...........but this comes with a tremendous cost.........the cost is permanent injury to the woman's anus.

Otherwise, your husband is totally normal. If the question of having to undergo anal sex compulsorily did not arise, I am sure, you would not have taken this once in morning and once in evening normal sex , in any offending way.

This demand for anal sex, has made you look at the whole issue, negatively. There has been many a relationship, where conflict arises due to this issue, of anal sex. It has be dealt with tactfully. I hope, if facts (above) are shown to him, he will agree.

Comments welcome