I have a friend who always had negative interactions with people. Few good interactions here and there, but mostly bad. Nearly 10 years later she suffers from past trauma. Some of this trauma occurred at her place of worship. She believes in God, but every time she observes her religion, she gets bad memories. My friend started to read her religion's holy book and it makes her feel like she is worshipping the devil. People may create a religion, but it is not the religion that hurt her. And there is a good chance that the person who hurt her was only pretending to be her same religion, but is a different religion. My friend is frazzled and hurt. How do I help her?
She needs counseling to heal her wounds and if reading holy book brings the bad memories she should refrain from reading the same.
I told my friend. She says at first when she reads she is taken back to an innocent time. She says she can envision God within India's nature, its natural goodness away from pollution, etc. Few counsellors she went to were no help. They kept harping over and over again at the cause of her trauma rather than healing it. One counselor tried to convert her to Christianity. You know today was Guru Gobind Singh birthday. she doesn't understand Hindi or Punjabi. She says when PM Modi commemorated the Holiday and said "waheguru ji ka Khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh," it sounded most genuine and heartfelt. More geniune and heartfelt than from the ego-filled "Siks" priests. More genuine and heartfelt than from snakes who come in the form of community. My friend tried to wear the Sikh Kara she's worn for all her life but couldn't stand it and took it off after 30 minutes. I hope she gets better.
Most religions were created by men, back in the day- when majority of men and women only cared about roti, kapda aur makan. Most religion favor men, because they were written by men. Most religious institutions are governed by men- priests in Sikh temple, Hindu temple, Muslim Mosques, Catholics churches- are men. We believe in religion to ease our own existential crisis and participate in the activities to be a part of the mainstream. That said- I am very religious and very much believe in god. I believe in all Hindu gods, deities- I have chosen to believe/ have faith. May our god is on Jupiter's moon?! Try to have faith without bringing in the 'texts', 'buildings', 'institutions'. Take what makes you feel good and leave the rest. Life is too short to live by the 'book'/ religious texts- best not to read it. Try to have one-on-one relationship with god with no person in between. You do not need institutions etc Anytime, few people gather- even in place of worships- there is bound to be some bad behavior. Acknowledge the past experiences, and then file them away in your memory- not to be retrieved often. Tell all this to your friend, it is possible to believe in god without any texts, branding, labeling, buildings etc
Yet is it both Male and Female energy that creates our universe! Many parts of Sikh Holy book say to not get emotionally attached to women because you create families and you become emotionally attached to your children. Only one line of Sikh Holy book says women give birth to Kings, why consider women bad. But it's so interesting how Sikhs say they favor equality between men and women because they cherry-picked this one line. I agree with these sentiments. Who are people to say if you don't believe in Christ you will burn in Hell. Better to burn in Hell than stay in Heaven with these bastards! God is everywhere, especially within ourselves. My friend doesn't do socializing, etc. But since when is a place of worship a place to socialize? My friend cannot understand the following, but it feels like Heaven to her, Asa di Vaar Bhai Sahib Bhai Surjan Singh Ji - YouTube
I think Kabir (one of the many writers whose work was compiled into the Sikh Holy Book) meant that Man should stay single and meditate upon God. This type of Man will reach salvation since he has no family to be emotionally attached to.
My friend was upset when someone told this to her. Please tell the humor in this (so I can tell my friend).