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My FIL's smart way of dividing his late wife's jewellery ! Brilliant decision..

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by blessed, Sep 15, 2012.

  1. blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

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    ]Dear Friends
    I would like to share this with all of you...

    My Mil's first death anniversary is in the next month . Four months after her death my FIL wanted to divide the jewelery equally among us, so he very particularly called both my SIL's along with their daughters (both have a daughter and son each) and every gram was divided equally in presence of an Achary ( gold smith). He weighed each one of them noted it down and was made into three parts.
    My FIL told that he would like to share the gold equally to his three grand daughters, he put everything in front of them and asked them to choose, he politely asked us not to involve to avoid any controversies . The girls did a cool job they selected whatever they liked , my SIL's daughters are big girls (one is already married ) but still they were kind enough to make my DD choose first as she was the youngest.
    Believe my DD almost got 400 gms of gold nearly 50 sovereigns, some new and some beautiful antic one's and half of it I have not seen it at all, MIL even possessed "Vanki"'s Vadyanam (waist band) which she has not at all shown it to me..I believe they are all ancestral one's which she acquired from her MIL..
    But still I wonder what was in my MIL's mind.. why did she not want me to know about the jewellery she had, my DH was her only son and she loved and adored him but still she hid them from his only daughter ( her very own grand daughter) her character was really puzzling.

    Even my SIL's were fine with my FIL's decision, and the girls did a tremendous job, they din't show any greediness, jealousy or anxiety when they were told to choose...
    My FIL knew it before hand that the case won;t be the same if he would have asked us to share ( two SIL's & me) I am sure there would have been argument and disagreement between the two sisters itself.

    If at all my MIL's soul come to know of this she definetly would be very angry with my FIL's decision because she told me directly / indirectly at least 100 times that all her jewellry will go to her daughters and not single gram I will get.
     
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  2. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    blessed

    happy for your daughter and kudos to the good judgement and plan of action from your FIL. may his tribe increase..
     
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  3. smritisinha

    smritisinha Platinum IL'ite

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    wow!! thats amazing! congrats for having such an amazing FIL! :)
     
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  4. anurar20

    anurar20 IL Hall of Fame

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    blessed

    very happy for your daughter and kuddos to your father in law nice handling the situation.
     
  5. jayarakini

    jayarakini Silver IL'ite

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    nice idea and wise decision
     
  6. sushmavja

    sushmavja Platinum IL'ite

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    nice decision taken by your FIL
     
  7. Sabitha

    Sabitha Gold IL'ite

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  8. swee2

    swee2 Silver IL'ite

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    thats good about your story!!!
    but please dont talk anything good or even bad about your MIL, as she no longer exists!!!!
    sorry,, but i didnt find it good!!!
     
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  9. g3sudha

    g3sudha IL Hall of Fame

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    Blessed
    you are lucky to have such a nice FIL.
    kudos to ur DD..
     
  10. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Blessed,

    I sort of remember reading what you went through when your MIL was alive, and can undertand some of your thoughts in the first post. But, in my opinion:

    1. No matter what her nature, it was your MIL's jewelry, and she should have got to decide who gets what. Maybe the ancestral jewelry needs to be equally divided like ancestral land/property, but jewelry that was bought by or for her is hers to distribute as she sees fit. Since she died without distributing it, and apparently left no will, your FIL did a very good job of distributing it evenly.

    2. Why is the jewelry distributed only to grand-daughters? Why not the grandsons? It worked out OK that you and your SILs have a daughter each. But the 2 grandsons not getting any because of gender feels wrong. What if the jewelry was distributed only to grandsons since the granddaughters will one day go to another family? Distributing based on gender seems unfair.

    Nice to read that all ended well, but, the above thoughts did come to mind.
     
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