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My Everyday Routine...

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by anika987, Oct 16, 2019.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hubby is in IT ..finance side.
    He says his work is like that and he joined this new company and is here for more than a year.however..he has been coming late for years..more than a decade.

    weekdays he comes late.

    weekends we spend time as a family on Saturday and Sunday he meets his friends.


    That is why I lament that I want to go to India,hate winters,no social life this and that:)



    If I Go for a job..it will be too exhausting for me and I don’t have the confidence I can deal with it everything home and work ..if I want to Do something more in life..I feel I need be more organized,and so trying to jazz things up
     
    SpringB likes this.
  2. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    Maybe you should talk to his friends from work . This is very abnormal for this industry. Either people come late and stay late or they come early and leave early. What about interaction with the kid ? Do you mean he never see her on weekdays ? Does he get paid hourly ?
     
    anika987 likes this.
  3. SpringB

    SpringB Platinum IL'ite

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    Anika just keep doing what you are doing. Don’t change a thing. If need be add some more ‘me’ time.
     
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  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Well kids he spend time
    On weekends.Weekdays since kids get up quite early,he talks to them and leaves
     
  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yeah today I am ordering
    Pizza.No cooking:) I am bored of cooking.
     
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  6. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    This won't solve any problem. They all are temporary fix. You need to work with your husband to find something reasonable for you. As human beings we all crave for some change. Your life is very monotonous. You will keep going through this cycle till you find a job or he fixes his work hours. Take care and think about long term solution. Have you considered taking some courses in community college ?
     
    anika987, hermitcrab and IL86 like this.
  7. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Agree.

    Anika, just a related thought -- part of your stress is from essentially being a single-parent in some ways. Most likely, you don't get to talk regularly with your husband about little things related to the kid(s). The kind of stuff that gets discussed after dinner and before going to bed. Given his long work hours, maybe you only talk about the big issues as the time he is available is less. As the kids get older, the physical labor in parenting reduces and the mental one increases. Right now it is the "to kumon or not", and "stubborn with me, kind with others" kind. From middle-school onward, it increases. The FOMO related to child and child's future can be so mentally draining. One parent can be the primary researcher, decision-taker, and dealing with the child's tantrums/temper, but the other parent should be willingly involved too, and should be up to date on the issues, not needing a full background/reminder each time the issue is brought up. Talking with close-friends or family in India helps, but it is not the same as talking about it with the child's other parent.

    About house being spic-and-span when people drop by.. like peartree said, that is easily achievable if guests don't open cabinets, closets and some bathrooms. I often have to do this.. a quick cleaning before a short-notice guest drops by.. I am pretty good at it, except that in the last 3-4 minutes, my choice is whether to attend to myself or the left sink filled with rinsed dishes. : ) So, this is how I decide: if the guest is likely to have tea, and likely to take her cup to the sink, I attend to the sink. If guest will not be going near the sink, I find the nearest shining surface that can serve as a mirror to straighten my hair etc. : )

    Not a related thought: one day I will analyze how your threads go to pages so effortlessly. : )
     
  8. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Not abnormal at all. OP has said many times money is not an issue for them. If you get paid the big bucks you have to put in the hours. Or he is naturally a workaholic or maybe circumstances forced him to become one. My cousin is one of the latter. Life experiences shaped her that way. She came for Ph.d and got used to late hours and work weekends. First job during recession her boss from hell again made her work long hours. Now things have improved, she’s married and all but still she keeps long hours. Maybe job insecurity, maybe habit. Even her husband complains regularly why she agrees to weekend work but she is unable to change herself. Automatically she will plan and go in on Saturdays! But she is doing very well and getting promoted touch wood.
     
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  9. IL86

    IL86 Silver IL'ite

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    I am not sure if everyone works such long hours in that field. Does he not have option to work from home end of day ?I think your reasons to go India is mainly due to being left alone in a different country. It's almost like he is not there. And why does he need to meet friends every Sunday,can he not keep it once a month,already he is not there whole week. Your routine is just fine, what needs to be fixed is your husband working hours. Either he is really workoholic or someone who just avoids home , you know best, you know your relationship with your husband, so have a discussion with him based on that.
     
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  10. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    In your context it is normal but I view it as abnormal. Working 16 hours 5 days a week close to release is acceptable in IT field. Even in that case people go back home spend time with family and start working after kids go to sleep. Not stay at work from 7-10PM. It is better to overcome such insecurities than encouraging it by going to work on Saturdays . Recharging and working reasonable hours is good for your mind and body.
     
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