My Diary-4

"Life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself."

George Bernard Shaw quotes


Imaginary grievances and inferiority complexes

Today is a sunny, bright day in our part of Bangalore.I look at my garden which is in bloom.To add to its beauty so many butterflies are visiting my garden today.Under normal circumstances, I would have sat down pressing my face against the window ,for an hour atleast,but today my mind is preoccupied.So many thoughts in my mind.When the body has no work whatsoever,the mind does double the work.

Yesterday,Jamuna ,who was my neighbour, some years back came to see me.We talked about so many things and we also talked about Sharadha.I have been thinking about Sharadha only, for the past few hours.

Sharadha.Sharadha was born in a middle class family,her father worked for LIC.
She had two elder sisters and a younger brother.
Even in her college days,Sharadha was a loner.All of us know that students make themselves into groups.Students in these groups may have similar interests or any other common quality that binds them.These groups always stay together,have lunch together,they sit and chat together during breaks etc.Sharadha would join one group.Stay with them for a few days and then leave that group all of a sudden and would stay by herself.If you asked her,”Why are you alone,Sharadha?You used to be with Meenu and her friends,no?”She would shrug her shoulders.

“Girls in that group are rich,you know.All of them wear beautiful salwar ,kameezes and expensive dresses .They look down on me.Thats why I left them”.

In a few days,she would be with another group,but only for a few days.She would leave this group also after a few days. and would again sit by herself and eat her lunch.The reason?
“All of them in that group have studied in convents and they speak in English,you know.Iam not that proficient in English.If I try and speak in English,that girl Kavya laughs at the way I speak English.It is better that Iam by myself.”

Lakshmi belonged to the group referred to by Sharadha as the rich girls’ group and she is the leader of that group by virtue of being a cheerful and helpful person.Her father was a cook and she used to wear the same dress for two days .
Kantha was from a pucca,Municipal High School.she also could not converse in English so fluently when she joined that convent returned group,but now that she has been with them,she can conduct a class for anyone in spoken English.

Sharadha finished her graduation. In an year or two she got married .Her husband was a decent looking young man working for a private company.He was the only son to his aged parents, who lived in the village.

Her husband owned a small one bedroom flat and that flat was airy, well ventilated with a small garden since it was on the ground floor and Sharadha’s husband Gopal was mighty happy that he owned a flat.I can hear your question,”What about Sharadha?Was she not pleased that she had her own ,nice house even though it was a small one?”

Listen to her,”It is my luck that I have to live in such a rat hole.You should see my sisters’ houses.My elder sister Abhi lives in Orissa.Her’s is a big bungalow,with four bedrooms,a big kitchen and also a lovely garden.She was alwats lucky, you know,her husband is working in a multi national company in a big position.
My other sister Malliga lives in Chennai only,in Saidapet.They live in a beautiful spacious flat.Her father in law’s property has come to them.Their hall alone is bigger than our entire house.Hm….my husband is working as a clerk only,no?So I have to be satisfied only with this.”All thiese words will come out of her mouth, even in the presence of her husband.Her husband’s face would become small,but he loved her deeply,so he never said anything.


Sharadha did not keep in touch with her sisters.She felt that they looked down on her.They visited her,but even on those occasions Sharadha would compare her small house and lack of expensive things at home to their houses.Both the sisters slowly got fed up and stopped coming to her house.

Sharadha never attends the marriages in close relatives’ families also.

“No,no.I will not come for that marriage.My aunt,my mami,my cousin sisters and my sisters would be coming for this marriage.They would be decking themselves with jewellery and would be wearing latest design silk sarees.I have to go wearing the only silk saree that I have and the necklace that my mother gave me at the time of my wedding.Every time I attend a marriage, wearing this,my sisters smile at me sarcastically.So,Iam not going to attend the wedding.Why should I allow myself to be laughed at?”

Who would drill it into her that no one is laughing at her?Who would make her understand that her friends and relatives actually respect her and admire her for some of her fine qualities?Sharadha is a n excellent home maker.Her house is always spick and span.She does very good handicraft and the lovely paintings that she has done decorate her hall.She is also a damn good cook and makes mouth wateing snacks for her children. Their two sons who are in school are not intelligent children,they are brilliant children always stand first in their respective classes and are well behaved as well.
Her husband dotes on her.

“Aunty,I may not be able to buy expensive jewellery and sarees for my wife.But in my limitd capacity I try to get her what ever she wants.Aunty,one day Iam going to have a detailed talk with Sharadha.She should realize that God has been very kind to us and has given us so many blessings. It is hightime that she changes her attitude towards life.I don’t want her imaginary grievances and her inferiority complexes to affect our boys,if it does, then they may also become loners like their mother.I don’t want that to happen to them,I don’t want them to become misfit in our society.’

Well,I hope he has spoken to his wife and that Sharadha is slowly changing.Let us hope for the best.

 

My dear janani,
Thanks my dear .
Yes,people who love you ,love you for you being what you are and not for the riches or the lack of it with you
I simply love your quote my dear.
love
mithila

 

My dear Aarbee,

I think the great art in the life is to cherish with the things that we own and live happily.
A great tuth ,said in your own simple style.
That is life,enjoy life with the blessings you have,
love
mithila

 

My dear K,

Such dissatisfied souls really pity them as they deprive themselves of a lifetime of happiness...

you are right.I have seen so many Sharadhas,they are not happy with the things that they have.They go out of the way to make life at home terrible for other members in the family.
love
mithila

 

My dear sri,
Thanks dear for visiting this page and giving your fb.

1st compare yourself with you only...how you were before and how you are now and how you can improve it for better

Thats a good thought.
LOVE
MITHILA