My Dad Keeps Saying If I Survive After Tavr

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by SuiDhaaga, Mar 17, 2023.

  1. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    My Dad thinks there is 10% risk of TAVR rather than 1% or less

    He is saying he will take one shower tomorrow and one shower after the TAVR … if he survives ( he has dry, sensitive skin)

    He is saying buy him new shoes only after TAVR if he survives

    He says do taxes before TAVR because afterwards he won’t be able to sign the return

    if he survives he thinks only 40% chance it will be success

    My Dad has other painful conditions for which he needs surgery (but cannot get anesthesia till TAVR is done)

    my Dad says if he didn’t have other health conditions, he would have never gone through the torture of preparing for TAVR, he’d enjoy his life and go when it’s his time

    This is sad and discouraging

    how do I help myself out of this depression type thinking?
     
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  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Keep saying everytime positive things and Almighty hears Him and yours as well for Blessing Him with success and restore him to normalcy. Be brave.
    Regards.
     
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  3. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    My sister's family and my parents are travelling to Leh Ladakh in April . I had to excuse myself because of my Toddler . I told my mom to be safe there and she may feel a bit uneasy first couple of days as O2 reduces at such high altitude .
    Next day she took me to her closet and told - "My will is written and kept here, I have informed your sister about this" . I laughed out loud - she said what If I don't return from LEH . I said BS and went away from that scene. I did worry for a couple of minutes but did not show her my anxiety.

    Years back when my FIL had to undergo prostate gland surgery he called his daughters and was crying and said take care of yourselves and kids . What if I don't survive the surgery ?
    8-9 years post surgery he is hale and healthy .

    It's the thing with oldies . They worry and scare others around them .
    You don't absorb their negativity . Ignore their talks if you cannot convince them to remain positive :)

    Most importantly don't show them your sadness and discouragement
     
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  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    This is not an unusual reaction when you are in a situation that makes you face your mortality. Don’t dismiss your father’s concerns but also don’t join in the pity party. Try to turn the conversation to positive.
    Also be prepared for the time of surgery. I have had a couple of procedures where I was under general anesthesia and many under twilight anesthesia. I was taken aback the first time when they asked me if I had a living will or DNR instructions. The nurse explained that this is standard procedure, not an indication that something dangerous is going to happen.
     
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  5. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    OMG we got Health power of attorney, regular power of attorney and will

    Im glad your Mom and PIL has recovered


    Stress level went down but stress is still there

    I am in contact with Nurse Practitioner about logistics of more blood testing on Monday and recovery from Angiogram.

    For TAVR they will put catheter in leg
     
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  6. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes this situation is making us face death

    just now I emailed the health care power of attorney to the Nurse Practitioner because I’ll be super busy the day of the procedure
     
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  7. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    Now my mind is wandering to

    - adding border to chiffon saree

    - add tassles to chiffon saree

    - buy matching short-sleeve bodysuit

    -buy denim sewing needles to sew sunflower appliqué on a maxi skirt that I upcycled last summer. When I did iron on, the sunflower appliqués fell off onto the streets, about 6 of them


    Eventually I have to face reality
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2023
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  8. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    Now my Dad is saying he will shave before TAVR because it may be his last

    Im trying to deal with it by saying why don’t drink blue label Johnny walker if you are going to go. Then he says he will drink blue label only in happy times, ie my birthday

    plus I think it’s too late for him to drink because TAVR is less than a week away

    seriously if you think sprouts are gonna go might as well do the forbidden things in Esrth and really enjoy yourself


    This is too.much, I am too tired to even sew ….
     
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  9. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    About a year ago I had dream that my Dad was talking to my Aunt, ie his elder brother married a Telugu girl (who is now Grandmother).

    But the problem is, my Aunt suffered a stroke

    Few months later she passed away.

    just now I told Dad this

    Then I told Dad that on my birthday I was thinking if the baby I miscarried almost 10 years ago. Our birthdays would have been 3 days apart.

    I said that baby must have been sweet and innocent, that is why God took her away. At least when you go, you can play with your Granddaughter .

    Dad got very upset when I mentioned miscarriage, but I said I am trying to be pragmatic if you think you are going to go.

    Maybe in the afterlife you will get blue label Johnny walker.

    seriously all other problems don’t seem so bad

    im almost inclined to buy my office (lot if nasty and petty people) pizza if all goes well. My only concern is that my workplace shoukd nit being me up charges, ie I bought food and made a mess (some people act funny, not ha ha funny, but real slimy)
     
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  10. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Why do you want to worry about buying lunch for your office if they are not nice people?
     
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