My All - Knowing Friend And Me

MY ALL-KNOWING FRIEND AND ME

Please don't take me wrong. By all-knowing, I do not mean the Almighty. I mean a friend of mine who has a knack for raising questions and seeking answers for them. Yesterday night at about 10 pm he arrived without any notice as usual. Well, friends need not give notice but then there is some etiquette. I fear him as much as I respect him. Fear, because he can drop in any time and respect because as I said he is all-knowing.

To cut it short, he knocked at the door and called me by name and I had no option but to open the door. Before I could offer him a seat he shot – do you know what is the space between the eyebrows is called? I said I dunno. He said –what is the metallic or plastic end of the shoelaces is called? I said I dunno. He asked –what is the cry of a newborn is called? I said –cry. He said wrong! He asked what is the dot on ( i ) or a ( j ) is called. I said –dot. He said wrong. He asked many such questions and I had no answers. He castigated me for my lack of knowledge even though I call myself an educated person. I offered him a cup of tea in the meanwhile, anyway.

Long back, traveling in a Mini Bus in Kolkata the school girls sitting on the row before me were chatting. One of them said it is not at all necessary to know everything. For example, if we want to know the trains between Kolkata and Delhi we can find out from the Railway Time table or inquiry when we go. No use knowing things that we do not or may not need.

She had a point. It's better to know what is essential. As it is becoming tough to pass the exams, why increase the load?

But it was different with this all-knowing friend of mine. Every time he met me he made me feel inferior. There was so much to know and so little I know. I thought enough is enough and I must confront him in one of these days.

He turned up one evening and as usual, asked what the oldest language in the world is? For a change it is Tamil but I said Mother's tongue. As expected he said wrong. I countered-no, I am right. The oldest language cannot be other than the mother tongue. The first mother on this planet talked to her firstborn in a language that no one knew but the child understood. It has continued since then. The mother and child speak in a language that is oldest, eternal, and universal. How can any other language claim that position?

He has not visited me again since then. Now, what is my fault?

 

Thanks for your feedback, Mam. It is more fun with subtle humor, not to be taken so seriously. Some people are in the habit of showing off, be it their wealth or knowledge. It is a satire on such people. It is always good to seek information we need from where ever we can. This is how world moves.
Your suggestions are taken with thanks.

 

Dear Shri Viswa,
Thanks. Before I ask him, I will have to find out what those words mean. Haha.
In fact, it is just fiction. I have no such friend. These days of WhatsApp, I do get so many forwards with such worldly knowledge. That is what prompted this post.
I fully agree with the fact that there is so much information around we can afford to ignore. It is like the useless stuff our rooms and almirahs are stuffed with.
I liked the poem. These days I also do not trust the mirror. I am not as old as it reflects me, haha.

 

(After a long pause, I realized that the answer is common between the two words. Frankly, I am not good at it, but this time I guess I managed?