Mother in law problems vent out here

HI Ladies,

I have been reading posts for long...
And finally have decided to vent out my feelings of my MIL.

its been four long years of marriage and every year has made me wise as to how to deal with my MIL.

However my in laws were residing in the village now they will be moving with us.

So please help me friends as to how to deal with things.

I am very sensitive and small comments also cause lot of pain and I am not able to sleep cause those things keep running in my mind like I have re winded some tape...
My MIL does cook and help me when i was working as sicne she used to come for 10 days every 3 months the fites have been meager..
Initially I thought that she is cooking and very kind lady later i came to know.
That when i cook they do natak of not good food and want to cook themselves savories and enjoy hence she cooks.

She acts in front of my hubby always and when he is not there she starts with things like why ur parents cant give money for us you people are rich..only you father gives jelwels to u and nothing to my son..

1st year of wedding she said that her son has so many people in Q who would give enough dowry that by now they would have an own house in their name.
She seizes every opportunity when I am alone.I am fed up such negative talks.... and dint know how to answer.
And started avoiding her all together I used to work then so if they are at home even if my work is over I stayed back in office till 10pm so that i could spend min time.They eat lot of spice and I cant get adjusted to their food still when she cooks i accept it and eat it.
But when I cook they dont eat and make faces they dont complain because my hubby supports me.But after I leave to office they cook what ever they like and eat.I don't have issues with it, how ever I am wondering what will happen when they move in with us.

She never had any closeness to son before wedding, she dint care if they called or not.
but after wedding sons have to call daily and she gets report of our house.

I hated her after an incident when she came home for pooja and refused a saree given by mom.as she said she doesnt wear such stuffs another natak.My mom who did her best after her 18hrs surgery ,I hadnt expected my mom to do even the pooja given her health condition.

And my mom passed away last year, before she died she called my MIL and told to take care of me as her own daughter...
But I dont think my MIL even will do 10% of it.
When i had hand pain my DH called them to come tc of me.
1st day she did acting after that I had to do double work as they stayed with us.
I couldn't even get rest, cause when ever I felt like taking a nap she would come with something to talk.


these are few incidents.

Now the things is I am no more working hence house wife.
FIL is getting retired so will be moving with us.

say start of day i get up and start cooking she comes and forces me to drink tea.I am a coffe person.its been 4yrs since I have married and she keeps asking me to drink tea..Ideally she wants me to follow her house habits.
I am tired of saying NO thanks.
Breakfast if i cook something is thsi how u do it????
same question asked 100 times I am fed up of answering........
hence i stooped cooking...I appointed cook.

After MIL came cook also told I cant work under her, she keeps poking head suggesting so many thing in each dish dish also getting spoil mam..so if from tomorrow cooking is not good don't blame me.

she is always behind how much I earn how much we are paying for the emi of flat we own.me and DH searched flat fro 2 year and every penny our hard earned money and she dances as if the flat is hers poking her nose in all aspects of home. And we need to give her set of keys.and as usual she drops announced.

Please help me.....even if me and my hubby are in different country for say 2-3 months I can feel her control I am fed up....

Like on valentines day too he called her which really pissed me off....:rant

he balances well between me ad his mom and I am fed up of complaining about my MIL to him..i myself feel sick...

I am so fed up may be I have written this whole post in a messy way....I am really fed up.....Please help

 

That was very kind of you to have read my post, feeling that I could atlest pour it to some1 and got a reply too
I will try to follow what u have said,,,,I guess it will be tuff but should ease out my situation.
Well he is not the only son but BIL is still hunting for jobs and am sure will soon come and settle with us.Currently I am a house wife.I have ignored her manytimes she keeps asking me isnt it right?
what ever i said?
so until u say YES....she will not shut her mouth.I should learn to ignore and not take her words to my brain.

 

HI FPS,

Exactly u said my words I cant bear the mental torture.
Specially when the day begins with her nagging and later in office my mind is still in tat conversation wondering how to give back.
When ever she used to come she used to mix up all the boxes of pulses sugar and stuffs.And since I was working I preferred the things to stay in a place,so that i don't keep searching for it.
Later I strated changing it in front of her, she realized that I wouldn't budge.

Well now I am not working but soon they are going to join us as my FIL is retiring.
the whole thought itself is scaring me.Now I am scared and imagining whole day with her nagging and stupid question and me have to saying YES to all the things.Mentally I feel I am worked up its 3.A.M and I am still worried about this. I wish I had my mom at least to share these things....
:'(

 

Yeah may be I should do that I am planning for baby this year so left the job.wondering how it will be when i will be carrying.and she is there to annoy me more.I am scared where I will speak out disrespectfully cause of my pent up feelings of 4 years.I know if I speak out later I will myself feel bad about it tooo

 

Yes , as u ahve the same nature u understood it really well .Thanks hopefully will learn to have a thick ear.