mother behaves strangely with own daughter after marriage

my friend is in a peculiar problem. My friends are two sisters. Both are working married with kids. Her parents used to be very loving towards her before marriage. Since after marriage (arranged my parents only) her parents specially mother seems to behave in strange ways.They do the following:

1) when her parents visit herand her dh and kid, to take care of the kid or for any other reason they will be extra protective about her sister or her dh and kids about any thing. If she happens to say something bad about them her mom will defend her where as mom herself sometimes criticizes her on similar issues.

2)If her sis visits with her family, mom will be show the signs as if she(friend) is not taking good care, even if she is doing her best. When she asked her bil for lassi twice still both mom and sis will ask him again. If she puts one egg to boil for sis, mom will come and put another egg without telling anything to her and later on saying she never eats only one egg etc, her sis will ask for necessities like towels or slippers from mom instead of friend and her mom will manage from the ones she has and will give it to her instead of asking friend who is only eager to serve. Sis and mom will plan things on their own telling to her only when action needs to be taken like mom plans to go along with sis for a day and tells friend only when they have decided it already etc. And they never bother to inform her dh whom they expect she will do. Once when she pointed it out and say that dh did not know their plans, mom took offence and started justifying saying that dad told it to dh and finally that 'yes i know it may b problem for snil, lets see if i can make any alternative arrangements' whereas she never mentioned any problem.

3) worst happened when her sis left her toddler son with friend for 1 day when her mother was there. Her mom was visibly tensed and was either being apologetic towards the friend for the child littering in the house or at times being defensive of her when totally unprovoked. Like she will say like to quote friend.."he is littering this house..tried so hard to keep him in control..am so fed up..but he is a mere child that also we have to keep in mind". Both the friend and her dh love the child and also bring gifts for him when he is there. Still her mom behaves in this way. he did not give him the juice that was specifically bought for the child when she was not there and told her will get it only when aunty comes and when she got home she asked the boy to ask her if he could have juice. friend was surprised when she gave juice, and the boy did not like it, mom said "snil was right, u should not have bought it". Whereas her dh only expressed surprise to see the item of juice in the purchase list the previous day, as he did not, at that time, know about the child coming. Once friend told her he was very happy and bought two juices. Still her mom tried to prove something with that.

My friend is very upset but i see she is determined about her dh not to be put down in any way. So she shields him in every case and takes everything on herself and sometimes confronts her parents when alone without dh. But she is really very sad and was asking my advice as to how to handle this situation.As i don't have siblings of my own, hence was not much able to identify with this, wanted to seek your suggestions/opinions on this.

 

there is no answer. My friend confided in me with the promise that i will not tell anyone about this. So i could not share this anywhere else except in this anonymous forum. I know she is quite close to her parents. As i too have problems with my parents at times in spite of loving them, though of different kind, i feel for her and want to help her...

 

no both my frnd and her sis are working married and have kids