1) A man is talking to God and asks him: 'God, why did you make woman so beautiful?' To which God replies: 'so that you would find them attractive.' The the man asks: 'God, but why did you have to make them so dumb?' To which God replies: 'so that they would find you attractive!' 2) The little boy was sitting on a park bench munching on one chocolate bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all those chocolates isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat.' The boy replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.' The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 chocolate bars at a time?' The little boy answered, 'No, he minded his own damn business!' 3) Once A Man Was On Vacation. He Enjoyed The Place So Much That He Could Not Resist But Send A Telegram To He Wife Saying -- "Wish You Were Here". When He Reached Home, He Was Welcomed Very Dangerously. Reason? -- A Distorted Message Saying -- "Wish You Were Her". 4) A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband." 5) Joy Bose was going by train from Delhi to Howrah. He kept getting off at every station to buy a ticket till the next station. When the train reached Delhi, the Bose's co-passengers asked him why he kept buying separate tickets instead of buying a ticket for the entire journey. Bose replied: Humko doctor bola tha, ki jyada lamba sofor nahin karna. Isee se hum chota chota sofor korta hoon. 6) Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are. The first one says: 'Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow'. The second one says: 'Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet'. The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: 'You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45'! 7) In Haryana's one small town one bus full of passengers was standing at a bus stand. One old lady couldn't find any place and finally came to drivers seat and sat. When the driver came to drive the bus, he asked the old lady "Ma tu yehan se uth ja mein bus challaoonga. She quickly replied mein yehan theek hun tu kahin aur beth ke bus chala le." 8) The physical training instructor was drilling a platoon of soldiers. "I want every man to lie on his back, put his legs in the air and move them as though he were riding a bicycle," he explained. "Now begin!" After a few minutes, one of the men stopped. "Why did you stop. Smith?" demanded the officer. "If you please, sir," said Smith, "I'm freewheeling for a while." 9) Mr. Sen and Mr. Singh were two good friends. Mr. Sen was thin and Mr. Singh was fat. Mr. Singh: “Yaar Sen, seeing you outsiders would think that there is famine in India. Mr. Sen: “And seeing you, they would know the cause of famine.” 10) A major traffic jam was preventing people from moving forward. A motorist shouted out wanting to know what was happening. A guy from the front replied, 'Well at the traffic crossing Laloo Yadav is sprawled across the road. He is refusing to move from there!' 'But why?' 'He has lost the elections and will now surely be convicted for corruption and will have to pay lakhs of Rupess as fines! He is threatening to douse himself with kerosene and set himself on fire if people didn't contribute with money to help him pay the fine!' 'So how much has been collected so far?' 'Six litres!'