Mix Santa - Banta jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by chatkara_tasty, Apr 5, 2007.

  1. chatkara_tasty

    chatkara_tasty Bronze IL'ite

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    Titanic was sinking.

    An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
    Santa: 2 KMs.


    Englishman jumped into sea.
    Englishman: Now, which direction?

    Santa: Downwards !


    **********

    Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.


    **********


    How did Santa tried to kill a bird??


    He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.


    *********

    Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.

    Doctor: When?

    Santa: 3 months back!

    Doctor: What were you doing till now?

    Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.


    *********

    Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's 1394.


    *********

    Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister ."


    *********

    Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?

    Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.


    *********

    Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?

    Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .


    *********

    A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.

    Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.

    Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

    *********


    Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!

    Santa: Why don't u cook something else? .



    **********

    An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.

    Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?

    Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!


    ***********

    Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?

    Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..


    ***********

    Ultimate answer while changing the job.

    Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?

    Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where.


    ************

    Santa and Banta went for a drive.

    Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?

    Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"


    ************

    Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously...

    Finally, Santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.


    ************

    Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?

    Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.


    ************

    Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home . The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.

    After sometime he calls again: I am coming , earlier I sat on the back seat.
     
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  2. mohana

    mohana Silver IL'ite

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    ha,,ha,,thanks Henna for posting.
     
  3. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    :rotfl:rotflsuperb heena:2thumbsup:
     
  4. chatkara_tasty

    chatkara_tasty Bronze IL'ite

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  5. laylaa

    laylaa New IL'ite

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    :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl nice jokes heena.
     

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