<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=2 width="100%" border=0><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px" vAlign=top width="100%"> Titanic was sinking. An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"? Santa: 2 KMs. Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction? Santa: Downwards ! ********** Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators. ********** How did Santa tried to kill a bird?? He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die. ********* Santa: I have swallowed a Kay. Doctor: When? Santa: 3 months back! Doctor: What were you doing till now? Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too. ********* Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's 1394. ********* Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister ." ********* Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening? Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM. ********* Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl . ********* A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out. ********* Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet! Santa: Why don't u cook something else? . ********** An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do! *********** Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why? Because he opened petrol pump on second floor.. *********** Ultimate answer while changing the job. Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job? Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where. ************ Santa and Banta went for a drive. Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not? Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!" ************ Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously... Finally, Santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again. ************ Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing? Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole. ************ Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home . The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen. After sometime he calls again: I am coming , earlier I sat on the back seat.
