Today I donated my watch, phone and R500 to a poor guy. You don't know the happiness I felt as I saw him put his knife back in his pocket. 2. I miss times when I was working at the zoo. My boss fired me just because I left the lion's gate open. I mean who would steal a lion? 3. I was in a cab today and the cab driver said, "I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.“ Then I said, "turn left". Why dosupermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get to the Pharmacy for their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front? Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and yet get a diet coke? Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens on the counter tops? Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage? Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darkens our skin? Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do 'practice'? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called the rush hour? Why didn't Noah swat those two damned mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains, whereas Sweaters of Wool, does? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? A Day Without Laughter is DAY Wasted !