MILs also come under peer pressure

I do agree that your mil was under peer pressure and not being educated, could not apply her own mind. But the same cannot be said about modern mils who are well educated and can think for themselves. But still, I do pity them because they are losing out on the joys of life over petty issues. Read some of the contributions of young ilites in the marriage, spouses and in-laws section.

 

Hi friends,

I do agree that MIL's get drawn into peer pressure and brain washing. But it is upto them to resist bad advice. Education does not change any person, atleast as far as Indian society goes. Most MIL's exhibit bad behaviour because of an insecure feeling within themselves.

 

Pushpavalli
Thanks for this thread.
Its given me a new perspective. I never ever thought of it this way. I always thought that all MIL's are that way and never thought of it in this angle.
Different perspective. thanks
anandchitra

 

I agree with Nivedi, that some in-laws' rude behavior is due to insecurity. But do they ever think that insecured behavior affects their DiL's and that in turn affects their own sons. I am sorry that I have to disagree that in-laws have to be educated to know which is good and which is bad. Being human is basic thing. I know some in-laws who are uneducated but they are very good to their daughter in laws(lucky).

 

Hi ,

Accepted that MILs under pressure do few things to DIL.....Education need not differentiate their behaviour....
Still, most of the MILs forget that they were once DILs , but they never try to realise the feelings of their DILs.....This happens in most of the cases.
Insecure feeling plays a primary role here.I have seen and heard of very few MILs who appreciate their DILs...eventhough they feel that my DIL has done a good job they does not appreciate frankly , hence most of the DILs mostly speak abt bad things in MIL even though they are equally or bit good ......
Before marriage her son is the sole property of MIL .After marriage when a girl comes and showers lve and affection on her husband, MIL 's behaviour changes. Eventhough the girl takes extreme care of her husband, MIL is intended to find some fault ....sometimes the fault may be so silly still it would be made as big issue and reported to whomever is visting the home......

I have faced all these problems....I am very possessive towards my husband and my MIL is too much possessive towarsd her son,,,this has created lot of confusions and problems at home initial days of marriage sicne both of us (myself and MIL )used to make a sort of fight to show our love towards this relation......
Even after 4 yrs of marriage this continues.....
This does not mean that MIL shd stop doing things to her son , but to have a feeling that DIL is there to take care...

Whenever my husband supports me , she says his attitude has changed and she tries to compare his pre marital attitude ,,,,Frankly, she is bit upset when my husband shares his love between his mother and wife...:yes: