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MIL thinks too highly of her family, judging everyone to be beneath her standards

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by momusa, Jun 26, 2014.

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  1. Jun 26, 2014 #1
    momusa

    momusa New IL'ite

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    Hi
    My MIL is currently visiting us from India.Her elder daughter is a partner is a small company in India so she has a very high opinion about her.So here who ever she meets our neighbours she always has an opinion that they are not high fi.
    My MIL has never gone to college .My elder SIL is also diploma in engineering that too from an unknown school.
    Me and my husband are highly educated so we don't judge people by their outward appearance.
    Its just annoying to me that she is judging others without any knowledge.How can I make her stop that.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2014
    momusa, Jun 26, 2014
    momusa, Jun 26, 2014
    #1
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  2. Jun 26, 2014 #2
    Radhai

    Radhai Platinum IL'ite

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    If it is not causing adverse effects that warrant an intervention, I would use them as sessions to endure my patience.
     
    Radhai, Jun 26, 2014
    Radhai, Jun 26, 2014
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  3. Jun 26, 2014 #3
    Priya4oct

    Priya4oct Gold IL'ite

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    why you want to stop her. I agree some time this annoy but avoid till she is not commenting on your family or you. This is her nature, let her be.
     
    Priya4oct, Jun 26, 2014
    Priya4oct, Jun 26, 2014
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  4. Jun 27, 2014 #4
    sweetypi

    sweetypi Platinum IL'ite

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    Unless she is badmouthing your family or really misbehaving with your neighbours, consider it a test of your patience. If she is just forming a not-so-good opinion about your neighbours in private, well, she's entitled to it. Maybe the feeling is mutual :)
     
    sweetypi, Jun 27, 2014
    sweetypi, Jun 27, 2014
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  5. Jun 27, 2014 #5
    thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Oops.....You just judged her and her daughter by saying that they are are uneducated and not from known colleges. :notthatway:

    And...you just talked very highly of yourself by pointing out that both you and your husband are highly educated!

    So dear everybody is judgemental, nobody is a saint! Just let her be as long as she is not causing you any harm.
     
    thegirlygirl, Jun 27, 2014
    thegirlygirl, Jun 27, 2014
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  6. Jun 27, 2014 #6
    momusa

    momusa New IL'ite

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    You have a point but at the same time you cannot judge a book by the outer cover.
    When I mentioned about it I was providing some background information ,you mistook it as my judgement.A persons Education is not judgmental , it is what he/she has , same thing as if I say she has black hair , she is thin/fat etc.


    On the other hand she always has negative comments about my relatives and friends and that's what bothers me.She doesn't know anything about them , when they come visit me she forms an opinion.
    Its as if she is trying to compare her daughters friends with mine etc.Its good that her daughter has some fashionable friends because every persons personality is different but I don't think this calls for any comparison.Every person is different with their own strength and weakness

    As a matter of fact my mother and father doesn't do that.Whenever they meet someone they don't comment that the person is good/bad.
     
    momusa, Jun 27, 2014
    momusa, Jun 27, 2014
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  7. Jun 27, 2014 #7
    MaliniHari

    MaliniHari Gold IL'ite

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    Do this - advice your kid in front of her that judging others is not a good quality and let us not be bad people. If she can understand that, fine and good for her.
     
    MaliniHari, Jun 27, 2014
    MaliniHari, Jun 27, 2014
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  8. Jun 27, 2014 #8
    pantu

    pantu Gold IL'ite

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    It does not matter. It's your view not to judge other people and it's her view to judge each and every person.
     
    pantu, Jun 27, 2014
    pantu, Jun 27, 2014
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  9. Jun 27, 2014 #9
    lalithabrahma

    lalithabrahma Bronze IL'ite

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    I agree with Pantu..
    I would have a clear conversation and explain how I feel when such comparison/negative judgments are made and request not to repeat. If still it continues, then you make a choice..
    If it is worth giving importance to this thought.. Is it draining your energy or inspiring you to run your day?
    OR
    Just accept her as she is and ignore

    I am note sure if you are familiar with Emotional Freedom Technique. EFT is very helpful to diffuse the negative energy associated with such thoughts that come up during unavoidable circumstances.
     
    lalithabrahma, Jun 27, 2014
    lalithabrahma, Jun 27, 2014
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    1 person likes this.
  10. Jun 27, 2014 #10
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    She is just visiting....just leave it. As long as she is not judging you or your family ....let it go or change the topic .
     
    yellowmango, Jun 27, 2014
    yellowmango, Jun 27, 2014
    #10
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