MIL suggesting non veg diet for DS

Hi
Like the others said you can do nothing about it when you MIL is taking care of the kid. She is not your paid servant for you to give specific instructions. So u just have to let go.

I wanted to reply to this thread for one main reason. Non veg food is not bad, the richest form of protein is present in chicken and fish. When you have the opportunity to provide healthy food for your kid, why are you depriving him of it. I am not saying that being a veggie makes u a weakling, but having non veg food can really boost your health.

As a mother, you should encourage your kid to eat NV. With his father there to give company, you should probably leave way and swallow your ego and let your kid have chicken and fish.

JMHO.

 

With me it is exactly opposite.I eat non veg and want to feed that to my kids but my MIL wants them to be vegetarian. my reason is that why not let them eat ,after all it is easy for me.I will not have to prepare their lunch for day care.It is easy for my kids as most of her class mates eat nonveg. Moreover my daughter is learning gymnastics , i think she would need protien which will be easily available from fish and chicken.Also fish like salmon and tilapia are rich in omega 3 and my kids love to eat it .It is also easy to cook,I marinade them in morning before leaving for work ,throw them in oven when i reach home add some vegetables in oven to and my dinner is ready. It is easy for me when we are travelling or on vacation I can order chicken nuggets at almost any restaurant.
So for me it is Convienent,Healthy(if prepared healthy way),Tasty.
Also for me it was easy to loose weight with first child as i was eating baked chicken and boilked veges ,Baked fish and baked veges to loose weight.But now when i am vegetarian it is so tough to loose after second child .I practically find no source of protien,Dals have protien but also carbohydrates and Rice roti are carbs to .I can not jus eat veges and fruits. Milk ha sprotien too but fat and carbs too.
well moral of the whole story is to show you another side of the coin too.Let you sone eat non veg dear .

 

I just realised I have so many typos ,will be good brain stimulation to read my post (kidding)....oops sorry folks

 

Headspin:
I can certainly understand how your are feeling over this issue....to have your wishes so disrespected. I think that disrespect may be the root of how badly you are feeling. As to the non-veg food, I firmly believe that non-veg is good for growing children. Let me note that I was raised in a non-veg household but as an adult have had long stretches several times of vegetarianism. Several years ago I read about a study that was done up in Delhi about how Indians in every area of India except South Delhi did not reach their genetic potential as to height. It is very very difficult to get enough protein in a vegetarian diet and with kids who are always picky over something, it is even more difficult. The protein issue goes away if you eat non-veg. It is very apparent here in the USA: Asians (Indians, Chinese, Japanese, etc.) who raise their kids here have kids of stature of non-Asians (whites, blacks). An example: my neighbors' children (father is Kanada, mother is Telegu) (father 5'7", mother 5'2") raised their kids here. The sons are well over 6' tall. It was all about diet. I think this is a very good reason for raising kids non-veg but I can certainly understand the issues that would also make one opt for veg diet only.

 

Regardless of the veg/non-veg issue, I strongly feel that the primary authority for making any decisions about your child rests with you and your DH.

MIL insisting on feeding something you do not agree with is very irksome. I rarely get vexed about issues, except for ones like these where people flagrantly transgress their boundaries.

You certainly need to firmly but very tactfully put this across to them. I amn't sure how that might work out with your family dynamic, but as I look at it, the issue is also related to no one respecting your wishes about the child, when your wishes about the child are much more of what matters.

 

I believe that it's nature's selection to let the mother handle the food aspect for the very young. (I am yet to see a dad breast feed!)

I completely understand how you feel and agree that others should just defer this to you for now.

That being said, since you are vegetarian and the others are not, this aspect is taking bigger proportion than it actually should and parties seem to be campaigning for their angle. You don't want to make this political esp when the division is between you and your hubby. Also your insistence on this could make your hubby get the feeling that this aspect of him is something you detest and if that's something you didn't intend upon, you probably should let this just pass!

Good luck!

 

my opinion: actually i am not too sure if u can give fish to a 6 mth old! Check with ur paediatrician...

As far as eating non veg is concerned let ur son decide for himself what he wants...when he grows up...for now u should give him all that is reqd for his nutrition...check with his dr what is suitable for him be it veg or non veg...

one question...U chose not to eat non veg even though ur dh & his family eat non veg...so why r u imposing something on ur son?:bonk

I consider him lucky coz his mom can make wonderful tasty veg dishes for him and his grandmom can introduce him to non veg food...eventually he will decide wat he likes best!:thumbsup

 

adding my 2 cents to all the opinions given by other posters -

Being a full time working mom, leaving your LO all day under your MIL's care.. you cannot have the liberty to decide everything for your LO.. YOU just CANNOT decide and plan on small things like chores/ scheduled of your MIL and the way she raises your LO while you are away at work all day.. Respect her ways too...

I have been there so I know how it feels in the beginning.. even now (my DS is 3 yrs old), my MIL does not follow all that I tell her about DS's schedule for the whole day while I am away at work.. when I return she does give me details of how the day went for them.. somethings I cannot agree with her.. BUT I am not the one who was there for my kid all day.. it was HER. so respect her for that. I have been sleep deprived almost everynight because of his untimely naps during the day/evening.. I have felt 'why cant people understand that DS has to take a nap in the afternoon and not in the evening so that me and DH get some rest in the nights?' I have cribbed to DH too.. but we cannot do anything about it.. when MIL is in a good mood, I try to tell her abt this once and leave it.. still it is not in my control... I can only tell, and not force her to follow my way of raising the kid..

About this NON-VEG issue, (Psss: 6 months may be too early for non-veg food.. maybe 8 months or so, check with your LO's pead.) you knew what you were getting into.. you got married to a guy who is non-veggie and living with your in-laws who have been non-veg all their life.. how do you think they will let their grandchildren be pure-veggie?? Yes, he can have veggies like you want him to, but why should he be deprived of non-veg food (that the rest of the family is having). If you think she has had her time of deciding for her children and now it is your turn, then you whould probably leave your job and sit home all day to make sure YOU raise your child yourself.. I am not being rude, just telling you the truth.. my mom is a veggie and my MIL is a non-veggie.. the first time at 9months, when my MIL insisted that DS has to taste Fish, I was reluctant because I did not want my child to have non-veg so early.. I thought let him be over 3 yrs and then see if he likes it.. but NO, they wanted him to have.. though 'reluctant' I did let them feed him fish and voila! he liked it.. and I was happy he was getting more protiens (other than from dal) and thats that! If I had argued and tried to save my son from non-veg, my in-laws and DH would have felt bad and eventually no one including me is happy.. my LO wouldnt even know mom is fighting for him. so whats the point is creating such a racket out of nothing..

If it gives any more clearer picture, take for instance you were grew up as a non-veggie and your DH is a pure veggie and your LO is taken care of by you and your mom (not DH), wont you guys want your LO to have non-veg.. will you cook non-veg and make seperate veg food for DS, depriving him of non-veg food????? I wouldnt do it if I were you.

I repeat, (second Rihana's view) leaving children in the care of others has quite a bit of hidden hassles.. if you want to follow your way of raising a kid, it is YOU who have to stay 24/7 with your kid. You do not have to raise every little things as an issue. Please validate/ prioritise what is more important for you and your family.. PLEASE LEANR TO PICK YOUR BATTLES!

 

Re: veg/non veg issues- for DS

The way there's no harm in giving VEG same way there's no harm in giving NONVEG.
Yes, my kids have tasted pepsi/chocolates/junk food even at young age, my DH loves paani puri from roadside which I cant eat and my DD tasted that water at 6th mnth, tchwud it went without a hassel & she loved it... she's his child as well and he would love to share his food preferences with her.
Your MIL is not feeding him only with non-veg.. this is mixed diet.

Well everyone wants to live their motherhood to the fullest and until their death... as a result a lot of the ladies here are suffering after marriage struggling with their DH. This is an extended "Motherhood" of your MIL as your son is her son's son as well and the ownership has passed down.

Now do you wonder why ladies raise their voice for a close by setup rather than same roof with inlaws.. so that things are not taken for granted either ways... there are 3-4 people of same type in that house when a lady enters after marriage... hence majority wins..... but when you live separate there's 1:1 majority.. this comes with its own ups n downs.

 

forgot to add:
when a child is born in a combined family setup there can be clashes in motherhood, fatherhood, grandparenthood, uncle/aunthood etc etc... more the merrier... for the child but at times a headache for mom cos her motherhood time is greatly shared.