MIL is asking for baby everytime we speak..how to deal with this situation?

I think that is one of the the typical problems of wedded women where the in laws keep expecting the good news and constantly ask for it. It seems like they are not aware of your husband's condition. So I think it would be wise to let them know. After all, its their son. They definitely care for him. When they know the problem is with him, they will stop asking you. Even you will be at ease then. If you ignore their questions, then after some time even they will start getting irritated and frustrated for not having a grand child still. so its better to tell them now so that they can be patient and cooperate.

 

My thoughts inline..

 

UeDirectly say, "mum, you know you will be among the first to know when it happens. Why do you keep mountingthe pressure?"

Or stop with the first line.

Or say, "we've decided to take more time. we'll start a family when we feel ready in a year or two." Then refuse to talk about it.

One say, "will do" or "hmm" and change the topic; if on video chat, roll your eyes and smirk along with to show you don't appreciate this question.

Or talk about other good news like a new job / getting something on a super discount

i wouldn't suggest that your husband explain to his parents. They will make him more anxious asking for updates.

 

While son's find it difficult to talk about these things to 'traditional 'parents.....'traditional' mil's have no problem having a right over dil's reproductive system.Periods,sex,conception...everything happening in the son's life is her territory.



Op....either you tell them or tell husband to tell them that you both are in no hurry and want to wait . No need to tell them of a problem that is between you two.Best wishes and hope the problems sorts out soon.

 

Ask husband to give a reason (not necessarily the actual reason) to shut his mother's mouth. It is up to him.
If she asks you anything directly, tell her that her son is about to tell her the reason for the delay, and it is his decision.

 

Agree with GH, YM, Anajananathan that it is your private matter so there is no need to share the reason of delay with your parents or his parents. Decision to have a child, pregnancy, sexual compatibility are such a personal and sacrosanct matter that nobody should be made a part of it. Only the couple should be privy to such information. Otherwise what is couple-like about it ? In this matter I seriously don't think anybody else has any right to know. No RTI allowed!

And tell me OP, if it were your issue you wouldn't have liked it being out in the open, right ?

There are ample excuses that can be given - we just bought a house, we have a very important project going on, we are not financially ready to afford a child, anything. If I were you, I would just say - 'Sages said - Be patient" i.e 'Sabra ka fal meetha hota hai'!

In fact, even I faced this problem, not just with my MIL but also with other female relatives in in-laws side. I stopped calling/phoning everyone! Look, nobody called. And I am happy.

 

I would just say either we want to plan in the near future and not ready yet for kids or we are trying our level best will tell u the news soon when it happens.

 

Here's my two cents: my FIL and other inlaws (and to be honest some ppl from my side of the family) kept pestering us with the baby question. Initially I did not know what to answer - sometimes it was a blank stare, sometimes I would fumble something under my breath. Slowly I realized that when to have a kid was my business and I had to say something to keep all these people out. So every time my FIL asked I would smile and say "Very soon uncle. I suggest you start planning for the kid. It would be nice if Thaata (grandfather) saves some property/gold for the grand child. So start saving from now onwards." I would give similar answers to anyone who asked me this question. As expected, they stopped asking soon.

As far as your health issues are concerned, I suggest you keep it between you two. It is a personal matter and I don't see why your MIL has to know. She cant solve it anyway. Y do u want to invite some unnecessary comments/discussion?

 

Dear OP,

I agree with what ladies have mentioned here. It's your personal matter and your ILs or your parents doesnt have to know anything about it. Your husband doesnt have to mention his condition to his parents but that's his choice and you have no say in it either.

Next time, when your MIL says anything about it, tell her to ask her son. Let your husband deal with his mother. She would stop asking or he would shut her mouth up.